She's workin' 2-10, yeaaah

This morning I started my new summer job at GB Packaging. Yippee. For working in a packaging plant, it's really not that bad, though I can't say I did much today. When I arrived at 8am, I had the wonderful opportunity of filling out paper work, sitting through some basic safety/work environment information, and then sitting in a room by myself to watch 2 hours worth of safety and informational videos. Oh, those safety videos were just excellent--there's nothing I relish more than sitting in a 60 degree room freezing my tired butt off in a small, dimly lit room, being forced to look at pictures of possible accidents. For example, one such lovely image was of a finger that had it's skin torn off becuase the person's ring got caught in some machinery--lesson: don't wear any jewelry. Another fine example involved showing the back of someone's head after a scalping accident--lesson: don't wear your hair loose. Oh, and who could forget the touching vision of an eye with a piece of wire stuck in it--lesson: wear your safety glasses.

By the time the seemingly endless stream of videos ended at 11:15am, I was ready to do whatever the supervisors wanted of me. Sweep the floor, clean machinery, haul something, anything ANYTHING to get me out of that room!!! But, in reality, the rest of my day was easy. I had a quick lunch on my own in the break room, met some supervisors, and took a few hours with various people touring the plant. Not that the plant is THAT big, but the first guy I went on tour with showed me the basics, gave me a rough idea of various tasks I may need to perform, and made sure I knew where all the restrooms and breakrooms were--you know, the important stuff. Then he had to leave, so he introduced me to Bob, a jovial, laid back, rounded, middle-aged man who took his sweet time walking around, meeting people, and giving me more details about the plant, machines, boxes, and the odd jobs I'd be doing. You see, Bob, like MANY of the plant workers is all about making sure he's doing his job thoroughly...but that doesn't necessarily mean rushing certain more comfortable jobs, such as taking a summer help person like myself on a tour for a couple hours, timing it so that it isn't finished until his shift is done. Clever, Bob, clever.

At 3pm when the tour was up, I was left alone to figure out what the heck I should do for the next hour. After killing a few minutes by walking around, trying to look like I was available to help anyone in need, I finally walked up to a supervisor and asked what I could do. He sent me outside to help some guys shovel and rake up some paper dirt and debris that was spilled next to the building when they were emptying the containers over the weekend. Those guys had a similar ideology as Bob--working outside is unusual, so why not enjoy the fresh air as long as possible--don't work too fast. ::sigh:: Yeah, I could handle that.

I can also handle a couple of the interning supervisors ;) Too bad that's spoiled a bit by the fact that my brother Scott is also a supervisor working in the same office. Then again, Scott met his wife at GB Packaging while he was an intern and she was summer help. So it's not completely off-the-wall. Of course...perhaps I should consider the fact that plant dress code doesn't exactly exude...hotness. In fact, if it were to exude anything, it would be the exact opposite of hotness. It's like one of those inverse proportions: The degree of hottiess exuded by Katie is inversely proportional to how dressed she is for work at GB Packaging. Don't believe it? Well, picture this: clunky steel-toed hiking shoe-boots, dark regular fitting jeans with 2 pairs of gloves bulging and sticking out of the pockets along with a tape measure attached to one of them, a plain loose dark green T-shirt, dark blonde hair slicked back and pinned in a small bun, ear plugs, no jewelry, and safety glasses with a thick black plastic edging along the top that comes to a sort of dip making me look like I have a giant unibrow so that I appear to be perpectually concentrating. Yeah, that'll be sure to draw an intern's attention. Only thing I've got going for me is the fact that I'm like 1/5 women in the plant at all. Which is cancelled out by the fact that I'm supervisor Scott's little sis. ::sigh:: Whatever :P "She works hard for the money, she works hard for it, honey!"

Late night ponder

If and when I die--hey, you know what they say: I'm invincible until the day I die. So, saying that the inevitable is indeed inevitable, I've known for a long time that I'd want to be cremated. Cemetaries have creeped me out since the day I realized exactly what a cemetary was. I manage alright when traversing about one, but I do not relish it in the least bit. My grandmother on the other hand, she visits them regularly. I guess I just would rather do something or go somewhere that reminds me of the person when he/she lived as opposed to this ordinary (and crowded) piece of earth that had nothing to do with her/him except in death. Perhaps I will change my mind one day, but as it stands, I plan to be cremated. My problem is, I'm not sure what happens next. There's no way I want some urn sitting around a loved one's house, or anything like that. I'd rather I could just disappear, scattered onto the earth and into the water, to just float away. But then, who has the unpleasant duty of scattering those ashes? I certainly would not ever want the responsibility, so how could I ask another to do something like that? I could be buried, I guess. But where? A peaceful and beautiful spot in nature would be nice; somewhere people could go and remember me as I was in life and think tranquilly. Where exactly? I have no idea. It may not be for me to decide. And I suppose, it is not that important. Still, it's a strange and puzzling thought. What would you do, if the inevitable happened to you?

Bloom where you're planted

My thumb now has a slight green tint to it. I'm looking forward to gazing out my bedroom window to see light orange and red blooms among vivid greenery reaching towards the bit of sun that comes around the side of the house. I'm also looking forward to a summer of waning fear. Last night and tonight I ventured out into areas of the city where I knew I may run into certain people, one in particular, that I may not enjoy encountering. Both times, I managed to escape unscathed, though I had to look twice a couple times tonight--one was a false alarm, and another...I can't quite be sure if I saw what I thought I might have seen as someone walked past my approaching car. Who knows...point is, though I was pretty nervous most of the time, I still managed to have a good time with friends. I have to get over this fear--I mean, geez, the fact that they are affecting my choice in hangouts is pathetic, so I can't let it go on like that. Baby steps. Baby steps. A step in the right direction.

Another step in the right direction would be to apologize for my rudeness earlier today and the other day. Sorry dude--I was mostly just meaning it all in fun, but I think it came out as a downer. Lo siento. And geez, like I should talk... ;) It was more commentary on the questions, not on the answers anyway. But still, I could have specified or something. I'll make it up to ya :) ::sigh:: I still have to get those Chicago and V-ball pics developed--I'll work on that this week, and try to scan them in or something, and then we can have much fun with posting!

In other news, no babies poppin out of Lea or Beth yet, but they're coming soon--probably in the next few days, for SURE in the next week or two. I'll keep ya posted. I'm starting work probably by the end of this week, so that'll be...exciting...I guess. I'll certainly be glad for the paychecks. Not much else new--with work starting soon and incoming babies, things are going to get busy. Thank goodness :P

Testing, testing, 1 2 3

Oh, the joys of a hearing test followed by a drug screening test, "Fill this to the little black line." Yay. At least those are tests I know I can pass ;) I won't find out my start date at GB Packaging until after the drug test results are back though, so it won't be til at least Wed. of next week I think. More time to get situated here I guess. To continue with the awesomeization of my basement bedroom, today I bought my very own VCR. I'm hoping that I spent enough on it so that I won't have to buy a new one...ever, though I didn't spend a lot on it, cuz well, I only own a few tapes and I'm basically just using to record some anime shows ("Inuyasha," "Trigun," and "Cowboy Bebop") I've newly become addicted to on Cartoon Network. Ah yes, it's after 1am, which means my tape should be all done and full of anime goodness :) I think it's time to get in some comfy pjs and veg on the couch for a little over an hour. Later :)

Coming attractions, going annoyances and melancholy thoughts

Just saw The Matrix: Reloaded tonight--not too shabby. There were a few scenes I might have shortened up, and some of it was rather confusing, but I liked it all the same :) And the film makes me thoughtful. So much to look forward to this coming year; I'm not sure my mind can really comprehend it all. I swear, if I actually HAD a love life going on right now, it would put me over the top. I get a new job next week. Good movies and books coming out soon. I get to decorate the basement/my bedroom pretty much however I wish. I have my placement for student teaching in EC for the first part of next semester. I'm headed to London for the second half of the semester. I have my good friend Joe in town to watch movies with and enjoy pestering. My bro Chris and his wife Beth are having a baby VERY soon. My friend Lea is having a baby VERY soon. I'm going to a grad party June 1 for Cathy. I'm going to a wedding for my friends Shelly and Jon on June 6, AND going to a wedding with Joe on June 21.

SO MUCH to do and so little relative time. Sometimes the idea of it all is just so exciting and adventurous sounding. Other times, being here in GB sends waves of discomfort and pain through me, knowing he is physically just miles away, but life has put our lives a universe apart. Still, the waves pass, and excitement returns. There is SO much I can do with my life. So many options, so many choices. I don't HAVE to choose any, but I CAN. And I'm filled with this urge inside me to actually do something meaningful and self-motivated. Jenny reminds me of the fact that truly, I have little "drive." One of my very favorite songs is Incubus's "Drive" and yet, ironically, having that freedom of fear and embracing a self-fulfilled destiny is really only a dream of mine, not a reality. I KNOW I am capable of so much more, but I hold myself back, too complacent to make change, to kick my life up a gear and drive faster and farther. I want to make some changes. I think this summer is the time to do it. If I don't act soon, I'll never drive, and always be driven.

Home, home in the late 60's ranch-style house

I'm home again in GB, and lemme tell you, it's just a slammin time here, full on excitement jam-packed into every second....yeah....::sigh:: I still have a few things to unload from the van, and the whole basement (my bedroom) to arrange the way I want it. My mom and I went shopping today for some room accessories, but didn't find much, except a nice shower curtain that looks more like just a regular curtain to use as a room divider to split my bedroom part of the room from the entertainment area of the room--I suppose I could argue that they're one in the same ;) but then...I'm living in my parents' basement...it's not exactly a party house. Speaking of, my mom had a great comment at Target today. We were looking at the shower curtains, and there was a set with just the two side valances, not the straight panel hanging down, but the curtains going off to the side, held back by ties so that the bathtub would be framed. I'm sure it would look nice in a bathroom for that purpose, but using it as a room divider, particuarly right next to my bed would be intersting, since it would frame my bed then. My mom laughed at that picture in her mind, "Oh, that would be great, the curtains opening to your bed--Katie's love nest." To which I replied, "Oh yes, of course, because there'll be so much action going on...in my parents' basement...yeah." It was one of those fun mother-daughter moments.

I suppose it will be good being at home, getting closer to my parents. On the other hand, my family will BE my social life here, which is rather depressing. They're just fine, but I'm really missing being able to see my friends whenever I want to. But it's only temporary, just this summer. And once I start working at GB Packaging, I'll be busier, making money, and perhaps even making some new friends. You never know--after all, it's there at GB Packaging that the fateful meeting of my bro Scott and his wife Jennifer occurred. Chances of something like that aren't too good though. Yeah, the other summer help is all college students, but I don't think there are that many of them, and they will be in other departments. The rest of the employees are mostly in their 30's and 40's or so, which doesn't work so well for me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a few years here and there, but I put the limit at 29 for now. Scotty tested my limits as it was :P I wonder whatever happened to that guy. Eh, fuck if I care.

Speaking of, the other night when I went out with Tricia, I swear my past was coming to play mind tricks with me. But, I did well, "Your mind powers won't work on me, boy." So with the strength of mind of Jabba, but the swave demeanor of Lando and Han, and the stealthy moves of a Jedi, I got a groove on the dance floor of Shenan's, playing it cool around both Devin--that guy who's a science ed. major that I dated for a bit last semester--and Mark--the guy I hung out with on my birthday night. Devin was dancing with some chick, and I didn't see him at all since I was busy dancing with some fun, drunk and crazy guys and Tricia, until I turned around and there he was just a couple feet away. We made eye contact and gave surprised but cordial smiles, and went about having fun. Before that, I noticed Mark with some friends of his hanging out on the dance floor. He didn't notice me for quite a while, though I kept a look out of the corner of my eye once in a while. Eventually, he was near me and we turned and saw each other, and we chatted for a while. I don't think he ever expected (or probably wanted) to see me again after our fairly weird and somewhat embarassing last encounter. But he was nice enough, though he was busy with his friends most of the time. I paid him little mind, enjoying my time with Tricia and some random guys. Tricia and I even climbed up on the box and danced a bit next to some other people. I had always wanted to do that, you know, be on stage a little bit. Unfortunately, it was not one of my better nights and I was probably not that great looking with my hair back in a pontail, soaked to the bone in sweat like everyone else dancing, but it was fun nonetheless and at that point I really didn't care what anyone thought--not because I was drunk (I only had one drink before we even left for the bars) but because I just didn't care. It was a short night out, but I was really glad Tricia made the trip.

To top off the evening, Jenny and I decided to be a bit mischievious, dangerous, and break some rules. Granted, for some people, this would mean stealing one of those big gumball macine or ash cans outside a business, or maybe toilet papering the campus or plastic-wrapping the RA's car. But for Jenny and I, it was climbing out on the roof from the 2nd floor window. We had thought about it a few times, noticing that the window had no screen on it, and the roof was fairly dark so you could hide if necessary. And always seemed like a fun place to hang out and sit for a while. A few days ago, we noticed about 4 people actually sitting on the roof, at 8pm, easy to see and being loud. Not surprisingly, they were kicked off there and a sign was put up in the hall nearby saying "Please do not go out and stand on the roof. And if you know where the window screen is, please return it." We decided that the sign was not specific enough and that sitting on the roof was therefore allowable. After making sure the coast was clear, we daringly opened the window, safeguarded its openness with Jenny's sweatshirt, and took turns climbing through the window and onto the roof. The stones were cold and not so comfortable for my barefeet, but I didn't mind. We took turns posing for various pictures, and then I chickened out when I saw a van driving around the parking lot a ways away. It doesn't help that the RA's room is right across the hall from the windows. What can I say, I'm a wuss, but I WAS the first one through the window AND I suggested taking the pictures. I try. I'm just not that daring...but I'm learning. All in all, it was sadly probably the most "illegal" thing I've done in college. But hey, I WAS a Girl Scout, you know ;)

But you left anyway...

Well, I'm almost all packed up. I just have to do a bunch of cleaning and get my major appliances (like this computer) out of the apt. Man I'm going to miss EC. Jenny and I took random pictures last night of the dorm. Perhaps after they are developed they'll make it onto my website. Anyways, Tricia spontaneously drove here to EC to come hang out last night so we went to Shenan's and did some dancing, but she had to go to bed fairly early since she had to leave by 9am, but I cooked her some eggs in the nest this morning. I can't spend much time working on this blog entry--I have a lot to do yet this morning, and I'm going on 3.5 hours of sleep...but it was worth it. Next time I blog it will be from home ::sigh:: such is the way of things. I suppose I better get going. I'll try to update soon, but I'll be busy in the next 24 hour or so. See you on the flip side ;)

Pack dat ass up

In the last 24 hours I have managed to make my room look shitty once again. No longer do its walls have their wonderfully enticing themes of Aruba, Tinkerbell, Legolas, Dragon Ball Z, and Incubus. No more do multi-colored christmas lights line the border of my bed frame or candles flicker on my dresser to make my room the ulitimate in pimpin quality, ahem, I mean "movie watching" quality. And no longer do my movies, books, and photo albulms cheerfully line my bookshelves. Instead, shoeboxes, file boxes, crates, and suitcases clutter up my room in stacks or shoved as much out of the way as possible. The rest of my belongings are spewed about my futon and desk, waiting to be sorted into boxes or bags of their own. Tomorrow afternoon my parents arrive. Soon afterwards, the boxes and suitcases and lamps will be gone. All that will remain are my computer, stereo and the furniture that goes with the room. By Saturday morning, it will all be gone, and any trace of my having lived here will be no more. For the first time ever, I am truly going to miss Eau Claire.

Here's to a codine-induced oblivion

I walked over to Health Services today.

Take your carpet square and have a seat

Alright girls and boys, it's story time. There once was a young woman who lived with three other young women a pleasant apartment-style dorm on upper campus. Her roommates were nice, and caused her no grief, for which the young woman was very thankful. Everyday, the young woman would jump down from her lofted bed, turn off her alarms, feel her way towards the shower (since she wouldn't have her contacts or glasses on) and start her day. This fine Tuesday is like any other day: some homework, some wasted time online, some food, and chatting with her friends. In fact, nothing at all is unusual or even interesting about the day. The young woman is downright bored. She thinks about her friends and their many adventures in the last week, including a last night out on Water St., a grad party, a bachelorette party, shopping, China Buffet, and even a late night study/girl talk session at Perkins. Her friends make her smile, through and through, reminding her that there are some wonderful things in this world.

And then she thinks about the friend who she has not heard from. It's Tuesday, 9:30pm, and she has not yet received a reply email or a phone call. He said he was getting back to EC from SC on Sunday. Granted, it IS finals week, and he works, and she imagines he has a lot going on right now. But it's another thing entirely to not reply to an email, a voice mail, or pick up the phone. It seems that she just cannot trust a guy. The only ones whom she can deem trustworthy are either her brothers or like brothers to her. The young woman sighs, knowing that things could be much worse. But still, she reflects upon the last tumultous year and a half of her life, feeling very much sick of these games, this stupid dating game and all the misleading words and actions that go along with it. To add some fresh squeezed lemon juice to her already open thoughts, her ex, the emotional fuckwit Mike, IMed her out of the blue last night to wish her luck with her finals. Though the initial contact nearly gave her a heart attack and set her heart pounding with anxiety, she did find herself mildly amused at the idea that he probably did not expect her to reply to his IM. She doubts greatly that he would have expected her to talk so casually and somewhat cordially, even asking a couple questions about his finals and job search. She knows that if she ever was truly his friend, she should be able to show it by still being a friend, however reserved, and she is a little proud of herself for showing herself capable of being mature about the whole messed up situation. Still, she was very happy the conversation did not last long and any unpleasant topics were thus far avoided. The young woman shakes her head at the idea; she would just rather not hear about his new girlfriend and shit like that, especially not now when it seems all the guys she meets turn out to be self-absorbed knobheads.

All the more reason, she rationalizes, why this summer should be devoted to working, spending time with family, writing, keeping in touch with good friends, and organizing her life. The prospect of spending an entire summer not worrying about or wasting time on the dreaded dating gauntlet brings a quiet smile to her lips again, and she breathes out a resigned sigh. She knows her brother is right,"Someday you will find someone...or someone will find you." So she takes a deep breath, straightens up in her chair, and double clicks on the Arcanum icon.

New Journal Order: My Expanded Universe

Okay, I'm ready to link you to my additional site. This webpage will work as a base of operations for various pictures, links, whatever else I feel like putting on it. Right now there's only 1 main page, and a couple other "picture pages," only one of which actually has a picture on it. I plan on expanding on what I have started, to eventually form a well-established website. I spent waaaay too much time working on it tonight (instead of studying or working on my take home test due tomorrow) so I'm going to have to leave it the way it is for at least a day or so. But I'll keep you posted about updates on it.

And yes, Jenny, I promise to blog about something meaningful and "go deeper" next time ;)

::sigh:: the trials never end

Alright, so I have A picture, but not many pictures that would necessitate an entire webpage...or something like that. Tripod has this deal where you have to use their site to put your pictures on for the most part, which means the only picture that will really appear on this site is the one that's already here. Maybe I'll change it remove it occassionally so that I can put up another pic, but for now, it's there to stay. However, I DO have a tripod website, that I CAN put pictures on, that I can link you to. Right now, it's a work in progress, so I'm going to stall on linking you for the time being. I assure you I will get that taken care of fairly shortly (I mean, what else do I have to do during finals week? ;) When will then be now? Soon.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Pictures at last! Pictures at last! Tonight I taught myself how to go to Tripod and get a free membership there so I can have some webspace for files like...pictures! :) As you can see, I'm just a little excited about that :) And as you may also see, I put a head shot of me over in the left column above the links. I couldn't help it. Please forgive the fact that it's really not a very good picture of me, since it's just a cropped version of a pic taken at Renaissance Festival 2002 on one of the fucking hottest days of the year. There I was, with some good friends, dressed in a costume consisting of a full length skirt, long sleeved tunic, and a bodice, walking around outside in 90+ weather with a dew point of about 99%. And this pic was taken at the END of that sweltering day :P But it's one of about 3 pictures I actually have of me in digital form, the other 2 being much, much sadder, if you can believe it. Anyway, this is just the start of a new and improved Graphically enhanced Return of the Journal :)! I hope you enjoy it at least a small portion as much as I do.

If I had a million sea cucumbers...

I find that there a lot of things I would do if I had the time/money/super powers/any motivation whatsoever. For example:

If I didn't have finals next week, and didn't care how much money or time I wasted, I would fly myself down to some tropical region and not leave. My time in Aruba last January for my bro's wedding has me spoiled. Now I HAVE to travel to some place like that again, although next time I think I'll ditch the family and either make it an adventure with friends or perhaps even a romantic rendezvous (of course, it would help if I had a worthy guy to rendezvous with....but let's not get nit-picky).

If I could easily move from location to location, without the annoyances of leases, hauling my belongings, getting/maintaining a job, or the protests of my parents, I would live over in Minneapolis for the summer, move down to Chicago after I graduate in December, stay there for a while and then maybe move out to Boston for a year in preparation for moving to Europe and staying there the next year. All I would really need to be happy then is either to learn the art of "instant transmission" from Goku, get some flu powder from Mrs. Weasley...and a chimney, or figure out how to build a teleportation device so that I could stop home or visit friends in seconds--I can get lonely fast.

If I would take the time to learn how to make my own website, I could finally have real pictures on my blog. Not that I have any really worth all the trouble--sorry no nakey pictures...although, come to think of it, I do have a picture of Tyler and Mahoney's asses thanks to Joe Elmer swiping my camera.

If I had the real inner drive and motivation, I could get some of my writing published. Yeah, I am planning on becoming an English teacher, but I've always planned on being a writer as well. That would work great except that I'm one of the biggest procrastinators I know AND I have a really hard time getting myself to do some things. Heck, I've been trying to motivate myself to write a new blog entry, and it's taken a few days now. ::sigh:: Someday I'll learn.

If I had a million sea cucumbers, that would be so cool :) Does anyone know why a sea cucumber is one of the coolest creatures in the world? Anyone? Anyone? The sea cucumber is by far one of the most kick-ass creatures because it has the ability to spew out some of its internal organs when a predator threatens it, in this way appearing very, very dead and unappetizing. When the threat is gone, the sea cucumber can seal itself back up and regrow those organs, all in the same day. So now you know, and knowing is half the battle ;)

O brave new world That has such people in't

A nice line from The Tempest which I finished reading a couple nights ago. It's too bad that the person who says it, Miranda, is so naive about the world and the people that she sees. I suppose it would be refreshing to have a childlike wonder to the world though. Sometimes I'm able to be that childlike, and other times I feel very weighed down by what I see. There's so much beauty in the world, and so much shit covering it up. One thing of beauty stands out to me today: orange sunrise smoothies.

Orange Sunrise smoothies--a wonderful, delicious balance of orange, strawberry, banana and pineapple (and an added "immune booster" to try to help me get rid of this annoying cold). They're so simple, yet so full of healthy and tasty goodness one cannot help but be amazed by the different mixes of flavor at every slurp of the straw. I was not the only one today to be facinated with this fruity concoction. While in the Center for International Education office inquiring about the lack of forthcoming information about my student teaching in London next semester, both of the ladies in the office asked me what it was I was drinking. I told them, "Number 15 at the smoothie place in Davies" like I was telling them where to find the end of the rainbow. They pondered my words for a moment before asking, "What's in it? Is it one of the yogurt ones or juice ones?" I leaned in closer and said quietly "Neither" and before they could fully register their amazement I continued, explaining "It's one of the orange ones. They use orange sherbert and orange juice instead of yogurt or just juice." Their eyes begged me to tell them more, so I tantalized their tastebuds with details, "It also has strawberries, bananas, and....some pineapple." The ladies nodded in assent, acknowledging the quality of this smoothie. It would not surprise me if I walked by their office later and found them both sucking down an orange smoothie, perhaps even a...number 15. Oh, the world is a beautiful place. And my smoothie is gone...

And now for a few quick news briefs (...or boxers, depending on preference):

*Went to see X-Men 2 with my friend Heidi on Saturday--well worth the $7.50 and the long wait in line standing next to groups of sweaty, hormonally challenged teenagers.

*Today is May 5th, and Oliver turns 6 years old...it seems only yesterday I was holding him in one hand and feeding him with an eyedropper...::maternal sigh::

*I have the sniffles--I blame my roommates LeeAnn and Miranda, and also the half hour walk back to the apartment from Water St. Friday night (yeah, so it was my fault I was wearing slinky, not warm clothes, and was all sweaty from dancing :P )

*I still hate emotional fuckwits

*I bought fun new underwear at VS--I really like the new spring colors :)

*This is my last week of classes...and that means pretty much forever, though I still have student teaching, seminars, and I'll be spending my entire career in class...

*Lately I've been playing Arcanum, a pretty cool RPG that I just bought this weekend. It's taking me a while to get used to the game play, but I'm figuring it out and enjoying a new challenge. Beats dealing with emotional fuckwits any day ;)

As a follow up to my recent blog entry describing the top ten signs of a true "nice guy," I bring to you a new list, perhaps even more useful for trying to survive in a world where men and women must coexist. For reference, I'm using the term "emotional fuckwit" (as taken from Bridget Jones's Diary) in the sense of "someone who is not really sure of their feelings or what they want, and they extend that to messing with your life, one minute being the man/woman of your dreams and the next someone who makes living sanely, impossible." For this list and for basically all of my references to the term "emotional fuckwit," I am referring to a male, though I do recognize the fact that there are indeed many women who could fit that definition as well. Here it is:

Top Ten Attributes of an Emotional Fuckwit

10. Does not call when he says he will call. (This could also include not returning calls or emails in a timely manner).

9. Is fond of saying "Bros before hos" even in your presense.

8. Is not in the least bit covert when checking out other women in your presense.

7. Frequently spends money frivolously on himself while giving you the bear minimum or less (Hypothetical example: For himself: $100 worth of miniatures that he uses for perhaps a month or so, before setting them aside after buying a whole new set of miniatures. For you: No birthday present, no anniversary dinner, no flowers for Valentine's Day, and a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail for Christmas bought on the day before Christmas Eve with you there in present company, and gives it to you the next day still in the bag with the reciept.)

6. Refuses to go to or attend any major functions with you that would imply you two as a couple (Hypothetical examples: weddings, family reuninons, formal dances, etc.)

5. Idea of a date is watching him do something he wants to do.

4. Really "wants to be with you" but [insert excuse here, hypothetical examples: long distance, too busy with school/work/hobbie/career/family, needs more life experiences before settling down, mixed feelings, not over ex, etc.] makes it too difficult to be in a relationship right now.

3. Is willing to "fool around" or be "friends with benefits"

2. When he is down on his luck with dating and you are unavailabe/attached/being happy single, he somehow manages to make himself VERY available and willing to be good friends (see attribute #3)

1. Has a pattern of dating and dumping the same person over and over again.

Now, I'm not really sure of the hierarchy with these items listed. And it may take a combination of these factors to make him a TRUE emotional fuckwit. But if the guy has more than one of these attributes, especially the top 4...beware, beware. There's an old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I gotta tell you, I'm pretty damn shameful by that account. Of course, there's also that other saying that Tricia refers to in her Boys are Dumb Dissertation, which I suggest you read sometime if you get the chance--sorry, can't link you to it--"Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." Personally, I think the person that came up with that idea was on crack, that or they were never dumped before. Granted, my experiences have taught me a lot about life and love and shit, but I could really do without a lot of the shit. I can blame the guys all I want, but then, that's discounting the fact that I keep putting myself in the situations. Sometimes, I'm too darn trusting or idealistic, always trying to think the best of someone, or at least that there is such thing as true love and that I have seen and felt it. I still do think it exists...somehow. ::sigh:: oh well. I guess what I'm trying to say is: if any guy has these characteristics, keep your eyes open--at that point, you can choose to take the risk or not to--if you do, and you lose... at least you'll see it coming. Like any good Girl Scout, I intend to "Be Prepared."

Breaking the norm, Breaking the norm!

Today I decided I'd break the norm by doing one of these prescribed blog entries from Friday Five. Soemtimes they're...not so good and are as interesting as staring at a piece of wallpaper. This one's not too shabby:

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You"--I can't help it. As lame as it is, when I hear it I just want to belt it out at the top of my lungs.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
"Without You" from the musical RENT and U2's "With or Without You"...they both have to do with....yeah....

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
that song..."Girl I Wanna Make You Sweat".....okay, I"m not sure if really turns me on, but it does sort of gross me out.
I can't really say that any song particularly turns me on. Unless you count songs that happen to be playing when something else turns me on...cuz then it could be everything from Big Band to techno ;) ....::sigh::

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
B-52's "Love Shack"
Jimmy Eat World "The Middle"
Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Sum 41 "In Too Deep"
....I could name many more, but these are a few of the top ones I play when I want to feel good :)

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
Otis Redding "Sittin on the Dock of the Bay"
System of a Down "Chop Suey"
Incubus "Drive"
Linkin Park "In the End"
and as of late: Saliva "Rest In Pieces" has been in my head for at least part of the day almost every day--tis a good song.

There are many other songs I wish that could be on this list, ones that seem to be part of who I am--old and new--but did not come immediately to mind, like:
Dee Lite "Groove is in the Heart"
Jason Mraz "The Remedy"
Green Day "Brain Stew" and actually a lot of other Green Day songs
many songs by Blink 182, like "Adam's Song" and "Dammit"
Simple Plan "Addicted"
Benny Goodman "Sing, Sing, Sing"
Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
....and many many others....I could go on and on, but since it's probably of more interest to me than any of you, I'll stop now. Have a great weekend :)