Coming attractions, going annoyances and melancholy thoughts

Just saw The Matrix: Reloaded tonight--not too shabby. There were a few scenes I might have shortened up, and some of it was rather confusing, but I liked it all the same :) And the film makes me thoughtful. So much to look forward to this coming year; I'm not sure my mind can really comprehend it all. I swear, if I actually HAD a love life going on right now, it would put me over the top. I get a new job next week. Good movies and books coming out soon. I get to decorate the basement/my bedroom pretty much however I wish. I have my placement for student teaching in EC for the first part of next semester. I'm headed to London for the second half of the semester. I have my good friend Joe in town to watch movies with and enjoy pestering. My bro Chris and his wife Beth are having a baby VERY soon. My friend Lea is having a baby VERY soon. I'm going to a grad party June 1 for Cathy. I'm going to a wedding for my friends Shelly and Jon on June 6, AND going to a wedding with Joe on June 21.

SO MUCH to do and so little relative time. Sometimes the idea of it all is just so exciting and adventurous sounding. Other times, being here in GB sends waves of discomfort and pain through me, knowing he is physically just miles away, but life has put our lives a universe apart. Still, the waves pass, and excitement returns. There is SO much I can do with my life. So many options, so many choices. I don't HAVE to choose any, but I CAN. And I'm filled with this urge inside me to actually do something meaningful and self-motivated. Jenny reminds me of the fact that truly, I have little "drive." One of my very favorite songs is Incubus's "Drive" and yet, ironically, having that freedom of fear and embracing a self-fulfilled destiny is really only a dream of mine, not a reality. I KNOW I am capable of so much more, but I hold myself back, too complacent to make change, to kick my life up a gear and drive faster and farther. I want to make some changes. I think this summer is the time to do it. If I don't act soon, I'll never drive, and always be driven.