Sunday, January 30, 2005

Welcome to the latest addition of Katie's Random Advice Post...

KRAP: On Turning Twenty-four

First of all, a prospective 24-er needs to be aware of these important party facts.

#1. A party is not only suggested, but necessary. It is one thing to throw a bash when you're 22 or 23, but it is another thing entirely to have a 24th year bday party. Aside from being the obvious one year away from the quarter-century landmark, there is absolutely nothing special about turning 24. One could venture to say that I am now in my mid-twenties and therefore am at a "special age," but then, who are they kidding...no one takes you seriously at 24 anymore than they did at 23. That is why it is completely imperative to celebrate the non-occassion with as many well-intentioned friends as possible. This way, the unimportance of 24 is masked behind a veil of fiesta-induced haze of consequence.

#2. Party guests must be much younger and older than the 24-er. With guests ranging in a decade span from 20-30, the birthday boy or girl will be much more apt to accept their new-found status of "older than dirt." Knowing that there are age-challenged younger folk that must still go through the god-forsaken trials of college and the dissollusionment of entering the "real world" does wonders for a person's adjustment to the year 24. As an added bonus, having older guests, especially those who have already hit the 30-something marker, puts the year into perspective as simply...not that old...yet.

#3. There must be as many non-healthy snacks as possible. No where in the smorgasbord of hors d'oeuvres can there be a smidgeon of vitamin/mineral-containing or fat-free/cholesterol-free or not-going-to-rot-your-teeth food. For instance, buy the taco dipping sauce, but forget about the olives, lettuce, tomatoes and onions. Include a tray of cheese, summer sausage, and crackers, but leave out the veggie and fruit trays so popular at potluck dinners. And by all means, do NOT forget to forgo the angelfood cake and fruit toppings, and DO make some double fudge brownies, top them with thick fudge frosting, and have your awesome roommate decorate them with those pure sugar/corn syrup cake decorator letters.

#4. Never greet your guests at the door. Counter to what the Martha Stewart's of the world might say, it is in your best interest and of the highest regard to Not answer the door when your guests arrive. Instead, do your best to be unavailable at the time--perhaps try using the restroom. If avoiding the situation isn't possible, then be sure to remain at the party scene (after all it is your party), by shouting out the window, "The door's open, come on up!" They'll figure out where your apartment is soon enough, won't they?

And last but not least...

#5. Always end the night with 2 shots of tequila and a rousing game of Truth or Dare. I'm sorry, but a night with out shots or the time-honored game of Truth or Dare can hardly be called a "party." It's one thing to have your favorite wine, some beer, and a pleasant mixed drink, but it's another thing entirely to have the official Birthday Tequila Shot. It may not taste like honey, but then, who would do a shot of honey....aside from Chris ;) Besides, how else are we going to get through that 2-year-old bottle of Jose Cuervo? As for the Truth or Dare, I can thank Jenny for reminding me just how important that ridiculous game really is. Honestly, who hasn't pantomimed a shower or laid a gold egg on their birthday?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Just around the corner...

...looms class and a long term sub job. Eeeek. Monday night I get the distinct privilege of starting my night class of Human Relations. What a load of shit. Thankfully, it's only 12 weeks instead of a whole semester, but it's plenty to keep me busy. I just hope there aren't too many bullshit papers to write; I think I had my fill of them getting my BA. As for the sub job, it could happen anytime in the next two weeks, but it's likely to happen sometime later next week. I could hope the baby pops out of her sooner, but then I'd probably rather have her prepared to leave vs. having her lift off in the middle of something.

She seems like a really cool person, and if I wasn't her sub, I'd likely enjoy working with her while I was at the high school. The rest of the staff seems okay so far, but hopefully they'll still be nice and helpful when I NEED help starting out there. The students seem okay too, though the seniors I'll be teaching have quite the, ah...personalities.

On another note, Chris has his driver's license now, which is pretty kick-ass considering how much time I put into teaching him (with a bit of help from Tricia now and then). But he was a good student, and learned quickly enough. It's too bad his fam wasn't there for him back in high school for him to have gotten it then, but at least now he has an option for when he gets a full time job anywhere around the Twin Cities.

Anyway, that's about all for now. I'll let you know when things get interesting...someday.

Friday, January 14, 2005


But then, who couldn't love a face like that? Hell, even Tricia likes Nookie, and she's allergic!

Thursday, January 13, 2005


It's almost disgusting how much my brother loves Nookie.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A Slacker as Usual

With a long term sub position and a 4 hour Monday night class looming on the horizon, I have been taking the most advantage of my freedom as possible. i.e. I've been sitting on my ass, finishing a fluffy fantasy novel every 2 days, playing the PS2 with Tricia, and otherwise avoiding anything that even resembles work.

Even WORK is not work. Take today for example. I subbed at a nearby high school for a Chem and Calculus teacher. Sound challenging? Shyeah, right. I read 200 pages of my book while the students studiously went about their studies, only raising my head to answer the occassional request to get a pass out of the room or to clear my eyes after my contacts got a bit on the dry side from reading too damn much. I suppose yesterday's job teaching special ed to 1st-5th graders makes up for the lack of action I had today. But Monday I again went through 120 pages...middle schoolers require a bit more attention than 11-12th graders.

Anyway, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. Okay, not true, but I couldn't resist using that line. It's more that I'm enjoying the time that I'm accostumed to being "winter break," especially realizing I'm going to be super-fucking busy just another week and a half from now. Besides, reading is good for me--it keeps my mind working while subbing turns me into a direction-giving zombie. As for the lack of other activities, part of that is due to the reading and game-playing addictions. I can stop anytime really...just not within the last 100 pages of a good book. It's been a long time since I've had so much free time to read. And I doubt it will continue once the class and the long term sub job start up.

It's too bad my laziness has included blogging. I've really meant to keep up with it, but I guess I haven't had a lot to say. Tricia already wrote an entry about our ongoing debate as to whether or not we're going to move to the 2nd floor apartment in a month. We still haven't truly declared our intentions yet, but I'll let you know when we do. I know I've said it before and let you down, but I swear, sometime soon, I'll make it up to you with a kick-ass load of KRAP. Just be patient, por favor :)