Welcome to the latest addition of Katie's Random Advice Post...

KRAP: On Turning Twenty-four

First of all, a prospective 24-er needs to be aware of these important party facts.

#1. A party is not only suggested, but necessary. It is one thing to throw a bash when you're 22 or 23, but it is another thing entirely to have a 24th year bday party. Aside from being the obvious one year away from the quarter-century landmark, there is absolutely nothing special about turning 24. One could venture to say that I am now in my mid-twenties and therefore am at a "special age," but then, who are they kidding...no one takes you seriously at 24 anymore than they did at 23. That is why it is completely imperative to celebrate the non-occassion with as many well-intentioned friends as possible. This way, the unimportance of 24 is masked behind a veil of fiesta-induced haze of consequence.

#2. Party guests must be much younger and older than the 24-er. With guests ranging in a decade span from 20-30, the birthday boy or girl will be much more apt to accept their new-found status of "older than dirt." Knowing that there are age-challenged younger folk that must still go through the god-forsaken trials of college and the dissollusionment of entering the "real world" does wonders for a person's adjustment to the year 24. As an added bonus, having older guests, especially those who have already hit the 30-something marker, puts the year into perspective as simply...not that old...yet.

#3. There must be as many non-healthy snacks as possible. No where in the smorgasbord of hors d'oeuvres can there be a smidgeon of vitamin/mineral-containing or fat-free/cholesterol-free or not-going-to-rot-your-teeth food. For instance, buy the taco dipping sauce, but forget about the olives, lettuce, tomatoes and onions. Include a tray of cheese, summer sausage, and crackers, but leave out the veggie and fruit trays so popular at potluck dinners. And by all means, do NOT forget to forgo the angelfood cake and fruit toppings, and DO make some double fudge brownies, top them with thick fudge frosting, and have your awesome roommate decorate them with those pure sugar/corn syrup cake decorator letters.

#4. Never greet your guests at the door. Counter to what the Martha Stewart's of the world might say, it is in your best interest and of the highest regard to Not answer the door when your guests arrive. Instead, do your best to be unavailable at the time--perhaps try using the restroom. If avoiding the situation isn't possible, then be sure to remain at the party scene (after all it is your party), by shouting out the window, "The door's open, come on up!" They'll figure out where your apartment is soon enough, won't they?

And last but not least...

#5. Always end the night with 2 shots of tequila and a rousing game of Truth or Dare. I'm sorry, but a night with out shots or the time-honored game of Truth or Dare can hardly be called a "party." It's one thing to have your favorite wine, some beer, and a pleasant mixed drink, but it's another thing entirely to have the official Birthday Tequila Shot. It may not taste like honey, but then, who would do a shot of honey....aside from Chris ;) Besides, how else are we going to get through that 2-year-old bottle of Jose Cuervo? As for the Truth or Dare, I can thank Jenny for reminding me just how important that ridiculous game really is. Honestly, who hasn't pantomimed a shower or laid a gold egg on their birthday?