Ninja: Recovered
I was home for the holidays and survived. There were many opportunities for death and insanity this week, but somehow, I careened past the path of utter destruction and have made it safely back to my newer home. What were some of those pearls of peril?
1. Downhill skiing for the first time in my life. Really, it was more like me trying in vain to stay off my ass for more than two minutes, but hey, cross country has always been more my style. Or more accurately: I'm a wuss. Perhaps I will return to the hills yet this season. And maybe I'll run into my two instructors whose summative age would make them my peer.
2. A mouse who won't die. I set up traps, complete with a decoy granola bar in a box next to a peanut butter laden trap, but the thing just won't kill itself. Stupid smart mouse. I think our mouse has a strong sense of mortality, much like myself (except that my danger senses are overcome by peanut butter and chocolately goodness any day).
3. My parents' living room stuffed to the brim with wrapped boxes, three generations, and three dogs (one, the size of a rat, and two that were surprisingly not overweight by some strange miracle). I'm perplexed that we escaped that torture room with only a spilled beer casualty. Oh yeah, and it'll be bigger next year with Jennifer expecting her first little one sometime next summer. ::sigh:: What's with the profusion of procreation? That is one fad I'll be happy to avoid...for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, LONG time.
4. The emotionally gripping meeting of my ancient computer with my trendy laptop. I think my 1999 Compaq sabotaged my stripping of its files due to jealousy of my new younger and much slimmer companion. It decided that a pen drive is WAY too complicated to open and forced me to send files by email instead (after a frustrating ordeal trying to rearrange my dad's cables that WERE fine the last time I fixed them). Of course, that meant that I only sent about six mp3 files due to the escruciatingly slow process of uploading the files into email. On the bright side: "Ninja of the Night" has returned! Try looking for it online sometime...NOT THERE anymore, so thank god for an old evil computer that still has some good in it; I knew it to be true. Now if only I could find defeatyou.com. ::sigh:: Some things just remain lost.
5. Hauling all of our shit up to the third floor. I tell you, after Christmas shopping did not help our cause. My car was full, although I'm certain we could have stuffed more in if we put everything into those vacuum airtight storage bags that seem so handy in those 2am infomercials. Next time everything on my list will be smaller than my head and I will only bring what I am wearing. If it means sleeping naked and wearing a t-shirt and jeans to mass, so be it.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Week
And when is that? Why, Thursday night, just 17 hours away from a much-needed winter break that will last and last. How long is this work-free time period? 2 Weeks! Yes, two weeks of splendiferous late mornings and adolescentless days. (You may ask why I make up words, and I can tell you the answer. I'm an English teacher; I have a license to change the completely irrational "laws" of the English language at will. Like my students would realize the difference anyway.)
Tonight I spent an hour and a half looking for supplies for my teaching "lesson" tomorrow. Let's face it. Tomorrow is going to be hell on earth with kids flying everywhere in an attempt to escape through 2nd floor windows, cracks in the wall, vents in the heater, between tiles in the ceiling--anywhere they could possibly squeeze through to escape the last day of class before a long vacation. They will be hyped on sugar. They will be asking repeatedly, "Can we have a party? Can we have a party?" And just when you think it will be okay, "Can we have a party?" There will not be a moment of peace even during my hour prep period. I can feel the tension seeping into my shoulders already.
Hence, my "lesson" for tomorrow. Here are the details:
Step #1: Take attendance.
Step #2: Spend a good 5 minutes explaining the plan for the day in an attempt to kill time.
Step #3: Have the kids create hand-made cards to give to friends and relatives for the holidays using newly bought construction paper, confetti, glue, magazine clippings, and various other objects they may find on the floor in the classroom.
Step #4: While students are working, hand out old papers, including the recent test they took so that they can make needed corrections.
Step #5: Hope that all hell doesn't break loose while students are using scissors, glue, and listening to Manheim Steamroller's Christmas.
Step #6: Surprise them all with a special holiday gift of a pencil, pen, and peppermint candycane tied together with a piece of difficult-to-find curling ribbon for each and every one of my seventy students (all of which I will put together tomorrow morning before school starts).
Step #7: Thank my lucky stars they are gone for the day, the week, and the rest of the year.
Damn, I am way too good to my students. They should worship me. Really, they should.
And when is that? Why, Thursday night, just 17 hours away from a much-needed winter break that will last and last. How long is this work-free time period? 2 Weeks! Yes, two weeks of splendiferous late mornings and adolescentless days. (You may ask why I make up words, and I can tell you the answer. I'm an English teacher; I have a license to change the completely irrational "laws" of the English language at will. Like my students would realize the difference anyway.)
Tonight I spent an hour and a half looking for supplies for my teaching "lesson" tomorrow. Let's face it. Tomorrow is going to be hell on earth with kids flying everywhere in an attempt to escape through 2nd floor windows, cracks in the wall, vents in the heater, between tiles in the ceiling--anywhere they could possibly squeeze through to escape the last day of class before a long vacation. They will be hyped on sugar. They will be asking repeatedly, "Can we have a party? Can we have a party?" And just when you think it will be okay, "Can we have a party?" There will not be a moment of peace even during my hour prep period. I can feel the tension seeping into my shoulders already.
Hence, my "lesson" for tomorrow. Here are the details:
Step #1: Take attendance.
Step #2: Spend a good 5 minutes explaining the plan for the day in an attempt to kill time.
Step #3: Have the kids create hand-made cards to give to friends and relatives for the holidays using newly bought construction paper, confetti, glue, magazine clippings, and various other objects they may find on the floor in the classroom.
Step #4: While students are working, hand out old papers, including the recent test they took so that they can make needed corrections.
Step #5: Hope that all hell doesn't break loose while students are using scissors, glue, and listening to Manheim Steamroller's Christmas.
Step #6: Surprise them all with a special holiday gift of a pencil, pen, and peppermint candycane tied together with a piece of difficult-to-find curling ribbon for each and every one of my seventy students (all of which I will put together tomorrow morning before school starts).
Step #7: Thank my lucky stars they are gone for the day, the week, and the rest of the year.
Damn, I am way too good to my students. They should worship me. Really, they should.
