The tigers come at night

Sometimes I wonder if my mind enjoys spinning in circles. It seems I have a pattern inlaid in my being that tells me to think about this or that at different times in an unending cycle of confusion. I have moments when everything feels just right and I know where my feet are taking me. I have other moments when I feel the swirl of uncertainty around me, reminding me how very little I know and how many unforseen detours these feet have taken. Am I preprogrammed, running the same process over and over again expecting by some miracle to get a new result? Would I be the lab rat that keeps throwing itself into the electric current to get the delicious piece of cheese at the other end of the maze? Does that make the rat resilient or self-destructive or just plain stupid? ::sigh:: So I'm a stupid lab rat, sue me. I'm the rat that sees all the wonderful varieties of cheeses--Swiss, string, Colby, Pepper Jack, Parmesean, Goat, Bree (sp?), Mozzerella, etc.--displayed right in front of her but is still frying her little furry body to a crisp trying to get at the first piece of medium cheddar she laid eyes on. Yep, some obsolete, low frequency processor in the back of my brain refuses to quit running the "Stupid lab rat" program. Someday I'll have to get it upgraded.

Note: No offense meant to lab rats. I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly intelligent lab rats out there.