That's interesting...very interesting

Had a date last night. It went well. And he likes me. And, as luck would have it, I just might like him too. Strange, hm? I think so. Oh, and thankfully, he doesn't have a messed up name like "Mike" or "Matt" or any others that may not be named. Not sure where this is headed, but then, I never am. The weird part is, I have more confidence in this guy than I have for pretty much any other guy I've met in the last year. And this is just sort of coming out of nowhere. He's supposed to call sometime either today or tomorrow, and we'll probably chill tomorrow evening. The whole thing makes me a little nervous though. And the reason for it isn't what I thought it would be. Let me explain:

Okay, this guy is three years younger than me. He'll be a sophomore in college while I'll be graduating in a semester. So that means he's not 21 and I have a few years of life experience under my belt that he does not. While that does worry me just a little, since I have had to learn a thing or two about relationships and such, it's not that big a concern to me. What is a concern is how similar this whole thing feels. Quite honestly, I haven't experienced something like this since I first started dating Mike. There's the fact that we knew each other a while before going out on a date (granted, only a couple months). There's the fact that he had a bit of a crush on me after hanging out with me a bit. There's the friendly, sarcastic, slightly-insulting, good-humored banter. There's the nervous chatting in the Perkins parking lot. And there's the honesty and openness about thoughts and feelings without fear of embarassment. This guy...he seems so genuine...that it scares me. But...it also takes me back. It makes me feel like I did way back in the summer before freshman year of college. Just so...innocent, carefree, and optimistic. Almost enough to forget about those 4 years inbetween that changed who I am. But all those years haven't REALLY changed me. They may have changed some of my behaviors, some of my outlooks, but I'm STILL the same person I was when I looked wide-eyed at my room in Govenors Hall. The same, I think, cannot be said for Mike. He may SEEM the same sometimes...but he is not. The innocence he had, the honest and genuine face I once looked into and saw pure love reflected back...that is gone. What remains is an emptier shell--someone who feels like he's finally found what he wants in life...when in truth he cannot FEEL enough to really know it anymore. I may not know him as well as I used to, but I understand him well enough to be disappointed in who he has become. I hope to never have to feel that disappointment in someone again.

Anyway, I just had too many thoughts on my mind to hold them in. Tonight is girls night out and time to forget. A pearl to any kindly gentleman that buys me a drink (rum er otherwise ;)