I feel like I'm going to be sick. wretched, horrible, disgusting, pathetic, teerrible, just.....awful hurt, sick.....fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck......fuck fuck fuck....Mike is seeing someone, which is why he's been avoiding talking to me. I knew it, I fucking knew it. I shoul be happy, I should be like, oh, well, he's wanted this for a long time, now he's got it, he can see other people, get it out of his system and then realize how awesome I am. Yeah, right.... what a dreamer... He's seeing someone. I'm a real bonafied ex now. with no return in sight. though I know it has always been a possibility, the reality hits me and I have no other reality other than knowing my heart is broken again. And I saw her, I saw the girl at Espresso...that was her...I iddn't know it, I guessed it, but didn't truly believe it. And now I know, and I feel I'm going to be sick. I let myself falll in love with him again, dared to dream again, becuase I never stopped loving him, I always thought we were destined. And now...yeah, I know that I've been seeing other people but I never had to deal with this before...not since last January, and I'm taking it as badly now...worse actually. I want out of here, out. I don'tw ant to be here this summer. I want out out out out. oh god let me out. I'm scared, I'm sick, I feel betrayed, I feel pathetic, I feel used, I feel stupid, I feel so hopeless. I can't imagine sleeping tonight. I want out of here, I need to do something, I just can't....oh god this sucks so bad....this is so bad...so bad...I can't stop crying, I want out....soemone, get me out of here...