Read Only

Today at the middle school, I had a rude awakening. One of my students is a young man who tended to turn in things late and is not typically very attentive during class. I try to get him involved to little avail. Today, while I was correcting one of his late assignments, I noticed something. He seemed to understand the concept quite well, but he had major problems with one portion of the assignment. The half he did flawlessly on was a bit of writing, putting together 4 sentences for each of the 4 kinds of sentences (interrogative, declarative, exclamatory, and imperative). The half he got almost every one wrong on was an exercise in the book, where he had to just label each sentence as one of the 4 kinds. I couldn't believe that he could do so poorly on that part, considering his obvious knowledge on the subject as shown by his other work. When I asked my cooperating teacher about it, she seemed to know exactly what the issue was: he was a very poor reader. Of course! I felt so blind for not seeing it. I mean, I was glad that I at least took note of it enough to ask, but still, just wow--it was something I hadn't really even thought of. All this time, I thought he wasn't as motivated or something...but most of it is directly or indirectly related to his reading problems.

So now I'm faced with this issue: what can I do for him? He does not qualify for any modifications or anything like that--he has to face the same challenges as the rest of the students, though he does qualify for a little outside help. I want him to succeed and I want him to BE motivated. I don't want English to be a class in which he zones out, cuts off from the class and does just enough to get by. I know I can't do A LOT, but I want to do all I can to make my classroom a place where he feels comfortable enough to try and to get the help that he needs. I would be willing to read assigments over with him, set him up with a tutor, or just ANYTHING to get him where he needs to be. Unfortunately, it IS English class, and he DOES need to be able to read, and he really doesn't qualify for the special treatment of having quizzes or tests read to him. But perhaps I can change some things in my whole teaching strategy, make up more activitities and assignments that use more faculties than reading. It's so easy to just follow what my cooperating teacher has set up, and it really is difficult to do things TOO differently when I need to be at a similar pace with the rest of the classes. If I was taking on all of the classes on my own, it wouldn't be quite so complicated (though it would be admittedly more difficult, knowing I'd have to do ALL the planning on my own). AGGGH! I wish I knew more, knew how I should go about helping him. I'm going to talk with him, and I hope he will be willing to cooperate and get the help that he needs. I really want him to succeed, and get whatever help he needs in reading...the really unfortunate thing is that he needs to be able to read carefully, critically to be able to do well on his state test.

Stupid fucking state tests. (excuse my Latin) I mean, I know the dumbass legislators think they're doing something good for education, but dammit! What about a kid like this? He seems like he's pretty bright and has a personality and such, but he doesn't make the cut for some kind of intervention or real help. He is "Title 1" which is all well and good, if only our "Title 1" program got more funding. Blasted state and federal goverment!!!! What the fuck were you thinking, cutting back on education?! On a totally side note, what I just did there was use an "interrobang"...it's when a sentence is exclamatory AND interrogative (typically using a rhetorical question). It's some relatively knew thing that some people are trying to make into a legitimate form of punctuation. I guess Wingdings and some other fonts actually include it, with the question mark and exclamation point overlapping each other, sort of like the whole $ effect. Just thought you'd like to know that.

Anyway, yeah, I just had to let out some frustration. I know that I can make my lessons more interactive, student based, and a lot cooler...I just have to do some planning and thinking and strategizing. It's not easy with content material like "the predicate." Grammar fucking sucks. I know it's important to know, but it's another thing entirely to be teaching it out of context. I'm trying to put it INTO context, but I know I haven't tried enough. It's just so much easier to follow the leader, just making slight alterations on my coop's plans. She really is a good teacher and does seem to know how the students work and all that. But she IS traditional, and she does seem to be rather attached to the process of "part to whole"....when the academic world of educating teachers is pushing for "whole to part." The whole dang thing drives me nuts. It's like, who do I follow, who do I believe? I know I should go with what I think is right, but it's rather difficult when I know I have very little experience with teaching. I've spent 18 years as a student (including preschool) and only a few weeks here and there actually teaching. My own education included primarily traditional tactics...and I think I learned quite well. But was it because of the lessons? the teachers? my own aptitude? my love of reading? my parents?! I think it is different for all students, since they all learn through different mediums at different paces. And the academically correct notion is to totally buy into EVERY constructivist theory known to educators. I very much DO believe in letting students have the most say, having them lead activities, making teaching a LOT less teacher-led (a lot of this stemming from my own experience of REALLY NOT LIKING standing in front of a room and blabbing on and on about boring shit while students have to take notes or follow along in a boring-ass book or correct boring-ass worksheets). SOME teacher led stuff does seem to have its place--some things take some explaining, and having students doing ALL the correcting takes a dang long time.

Maybe I'm digging myself a hole here. I'm REALLY not trying to sound like some backwards ass future teacher who thinks everything should be taught the way I was taught. That is SO not the way I feel. I'm just trying to say that I think SOME of the old ways CAN work, if done the right way. But for me, personally, it is not the way I PREFER, even though I'm mostly going with the flow here. The thing I really am realizing is that doing it TOO traditionally does not account for student differences, and I do NOT want to alienate the kids that learn better in non-traditional ways. I really do want to be a good teacher, and I think I still can be one while learning from a very good teacher, even if I don't agree with every choice she makes. Student teachers can be in a very awkward position, having to balance their will to make the class "theirs" while being VERY aware that the students are NOT "theirs" for the majority of the school year. ::sigh:: Overall, I really am having a great experience with these 8th graders, and I think I'm actually learning more about myself as a teacher than I would have ever thought. Caring about these kids is giving me motivation to do more than I ever did in class. I may not be coming up with the utmost in creative lesson plans, but I AM trying to listen to the students, understand their minds and motivations, and get the kids thinking and learning, not just about English, but about themselves as users of language. Keep wishing me luck--I'll never run out of need for it.

Free coffee makes me happy

I just had a nice 16 oz. cup of coffee, for free. :) You see, I stopped by the cafe on campus and the guy working it said they had just close a few min ago at 7pm. Now, last year they were open til 10pm. The other day I stopped by the cafe and one of the ladies that works in the student center said she thought they were open til 8pm this year since it was changed. Well, nope, it's 7pm. Who the heck closes at 7pm? Especially a coffee place?! I mean, what about those late night students working in computer labs? Maybe it wasn't good business for them, but it was certainly very nice. ::sigh:: Just as well I'm leaving--who knows what other crap the U might try to pull :P Okay, ANYWAY, the free coffee came from the nice guy working the cafe. Since they were probably just going to have to dump all the good coffee anyway, cuz they were closed, he said I could have a cup. So he handed me a nice big cup and I filled it half with Irish Cream decaf and some premium Colombian stuff. It was a nice surprise :)

Wow, just a little over a month and I'll be out of here. I wish my housing sounded nicer. I guess there's no bathroom in the apartment. We have a sink, but have to go down the hall for the rest. I wonder what they have for kitchen stuff. ::sigh:: yippee....spend 4.5 years at a university and you're stuck back in the dorms again :P At least it's in central London--there's GOT to be plenty of good stuff to distract me from the boring-ass residence....I just looked at the website for it, and it seems there's no kitchen either, so yeah, I'm not sure what I'll do for food....spend a lot of money I guess :P Ah well, at least breakfast is included in the price (better be, for what we're paying). Bleah, now I'm not in the mood to blog. I'll have to think of more to say later.

Point of Recovery

It's taken a couple years
of reaching and falling
stretching and collapsing

grabbing and missing
the handholds
I'm not a climber
In fact, most times
I've been staying in one place
not really going down
but certainly not going up

How can a stationary person,
an immobile object, hope
to touch anything good
and new, if she never moves?
Now I'm moving, even
if it is pretty slow
but I think I'm going
the right direction this time
up, up and up some more
a few steps at a time
looking ahead and infront
passing by the things
I left behind me

Poetic Ponderings Positively Progress Promptly

Tonight I revised some of my poetry and submitted it to NOTA (None Of The Above), the on campus, undergraduate semi-anually published literary magazine. I've never had a piece of my writing make it into the publication, but I did get on a sort of waiting list for it the first time I tried. Knowing I made it that close has made me REALLY want to get into it someday. But there were some semesters I didn't have anything ready, or that I have a couple solid pieces, but nothing else of much substance. Still, at least I tried a couple times. This time, I think I have at least a couple poems that have at least a fighting chance. It's hard to know what kind of poetry the judges are really going to be looking for. They seem to have their favorite styles, and they usually don't include punchy lyrical poems (as a couple of my past submissions could be described as). This time I think I have a nice variety, ranging from a rhymey basic four stanza poem to a stream-of-consciousness type poem to an abstract kind of self-affirmating poem. I even threw in a short and ragged allusion poem. And another that could be lyrics to a pop or punk song. All in all, a good mix as far as I'm concerned, and that's all that really counts, doesn't it? Okay, maybe not to the board making the decisions, but even so, I'm glad I went through the trouble of submitting because it gave me the push I needed to get certain poems typed up and revised that were either dispersed in journals or stuck in cyberspace. So, wish me luck!

On another note, I FINALLY FINISHED Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!!! Not that it took me long to read it, just that it took me all summer long and plus to actually START reading it. Thank you, mi mejor amiga Tricia! Now I can discuss the details with all of you guys have already read it and have been waiting and waiting for me to get off my ass and read it. Twas a good book, though yes, it was dark, and Harry's all pissy, but still, even Luke almost went to the Dark Side. Well, my hands are getting sore, which is a good indication that I've spent more than enough time behind a computer tonight. Check ya later! :)

It's not my fault...yes it is

Bleah...tonight I was rather insensitive to a friend. I made plans with someone and then proceeded to sleep through them without giving a call. I apologized to her for making her wait and making her worry, but there's not much I can really say. I was tired, I should have said I was too tired to go anywhere or I should have just gotten up and left--not fallen back asleep. I REALLY don't like it when people, especially friends, are mad at me, but I can totally understand why she would be, so I am just going to have to ride this out. Hopefully I can make it up to her and she will not think so badly of me for long.

Teaching this week went okay. It was busy with quizzes, assignments and a lot of things to cover in class, but the kids and I made it through somehow without homework this weekend. It's amazing how many copies I've got to make though :P I'm not being used as an office clerk for my cooperating teacher; I'm just following through on the worksheets and activities we plan out, making sure we have the resources set for class. Today I tried playing a verb game of charades with my two classes. It would have gone alright, I think, if we had at least 5 more minutes, maybe even half the class period. Instead, we had maybe less than 10 minutes to try and explain the game, get the kids in groups and get them playing the game. I guess at least I learned what kind of timing is necessary for such things. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. At least it was Friday treat day so I got to fill up on junk food all day long :P And then "Inservice Day" at Double Days Bar and Grill ;) I actually lucked out quite well with one teacher buying me a drink and another buying my appetizer. I was very grateful :) It was a good end to a loooong week. Next week should be interesting--I am being observed next Tuesday by a supervisor from the school of education AND it's homecoming week so every day is a fun dress day for each individual grade. My 8th grade gets to wear things with these themes: Mon-Red, Tues-(decades) future, Wed-PJ's, Thurs-Sports, and Fri-School Spirit. So I get to be observed on the day I dress for the future...not sure what I'm going to wear yet, but I'm certain it will be something that shows my enthusiasm. Well, I'm off back to bed...geez I'm boring tonight.

Fan-skippin-tastic time in MN

Yep, I had a great weekend! I got to wish Tricia a VERY happy 23rd bday on Sunday (and celebrate it all weekend long of course ;) And I got to chill with Lance a bit which was cool after not seeing him all summer. And, last but not least, I had the opportunity to start something new and wonderful with a fantastic guy :) Neither of us know how it will go with all of the chaos of him having another year of school and me student teaching in London for a couple months, meanwhile both of us stuck in our respective current cities of residence...BUT we're both willing to try and take it step by step, enjoying this unexpected and exciting change of relationship status. Pssst...fyi, in case you for some reason have no idea who I'm talking about, it's my friend Chris P. who in the last couple weeks has become much more than a friend :)

On that note, I'm going to promise to try to keep most of my posts from not being little mushy tales and notes, even if he IS in my audience. Of course, he'll come up a lot more and I look forward to sharing some amusing anecdotes now and then, but I'll save the personal stuff for emails and my hand-written journal. Sound alright to you? Good. So how 'bout those Packers, eh? Yeeeah, Green Bay rocks.

Bon jour! Je m'appelle Katie!

Slowly, VERY slowly, I am learning a very WEE bit of French thanks to sitting in on my cooperating teacher's 7th grade French class. They only meet a couple times a week and it's only an introductory course for the quarter, so it's more of a cultural tasting than a language course. But I've learned a few things about France and I know how to say a couple little things. I have no idea how to spell, and I'm not sure if she's going to teach them the alphabet or anything. I know they're going to learn how to count to 10, and that will be nice, but I'm pretty sure I'll be like any other stupid American tourist when I visit Paris this winter.

Yeah, with Jenny gone now, it's like a constant reminder that I too will be in England in the not-too-distant future. I just hope I can get everything organized and packed given the little time I'll have in GB before I go. I'm so glad I'm getting my hair cut though, even if it's still a month away--I'm so sick of this ultra long mop. For those of you that have known me a long while, you know that this is about as long as my hair has ever been. For some people, this wouldn't be that long, like Liz whose hair has been so long she could sit on it. But for me, it's nearing almost halfway down my back and I find that amazing! And totally annoying. I like it when I make it look nice; however, it's getting to the point where it's just heavy and getting boring. But soon...SOON! My hair will be super short, not quite a pixie cut, but short enough that I can do things like spike it up or put little curls in it. And it will have highlights! I've never put highlights in since it already tends to have highlights, but I'm thinking lighter blonde ones and red ones---ooh, such fun will be had! At least for me. Well, I think that's enough babbling about my hair...it's not exactly the top thing people want to know about. Anyway, I'm in MN hanging with Tricia, so I better go be social :) Later!

She's leaving on a jet plane, but I know when she'll be back!

::sniff, sniff, tear:: Jenny's flying out tomorrow for jolly ole England, and I shall miss her terribly. (Gotta practice the local dialect) The good news is, she'll be having a blast doing some touring while I'm pretty busy with teaching anyway. AND, I'll be seeing her in about 2 months when I too make the journey to that far away place known as "Angle-Land" (or is it Angol, or Angal?...I'm not a history major :P) Know what the rockingest part is? We're scheduled to be on the same flight home!!!! Sweet ass, hm? Yep, I finally bought my tickets, making my trip "official." (as though the roughly $3000 I've spent for this semester hasn't already made it "official"). But yeah, I'm really going to miss that girl :( We're totally going to have to make up for it by having an awesome time in Europe later. Debt or no debt, no holding back when it comes to trying new and fun things. Well, maybe a LITTLE conservation of cash flow would be good, but that will come in the way of lodging at hostels and shopping at grocery stores for food. Wow, Europe...with Jenny leaving, it makes the idea so much more REAL. I know she'll have a great time, and she better keep in touch via blogging or email!!! :) So, let's all wish her a fan-skippin-tastic trip and a kick-ass time in England! Bon voyage, Jenny! Take care!

Do you hear the people comment?

Maybe not "hear," but we certainly are VERY happy that YACCS was able to fix the problems in a relatively short time and make the comments all better again--thank you YACCS!

In other news, school is still going alright. I tell you, sometimes it's so strange to be at home and realize I don't really have much to do at all for "homework." I have some emails to do, and I should be working on my portfolio and also doing some organizing for my London trip, but tonight it was just great taking a nap after school/work (I tend to call it "work" cuz I am acting as a teacher and not taking classes per se). I did some organizing of my notes and room and a LITTLE work. I'll really have to get in gear tomorrow. I want to make sure I have all the little but important stuff done before I leave this weekend for MN. I'm so looking forward to the weekend :) Originally I thought this would be a weekend to go to GB, but I'm glad it turns out I get to help celebrate Tricia's birthday! It'll be good to see mi amiga again, and of course, el hombre que lo me quisiera hacer un novio. If you don't know Spanish, well, there's always a translator. Granted, my Spanish language skills are pretty rusty and I was trying to use the subjunctive which was always rather confusing, but you should be able to get the gist of it. When in doubt, ask Tricia--I did. ;)

Actually, I'm feeling good in most aspects, except this annoying pseudo-cold. It's like I'd rather just get the stupid being sick part over with and move on, but no, I stay on the verge of having a cold, just suffering from sniffles, a little drowsiness, and watery eyes--it's almost like allergies except I don't have sinus allergies, and it's not consistent. But yeah, otherwise I'm doing alright, even talked to Craig online a bit last night and he was friendly enough. I'm glad he's doing well and that what happened was just a bump on the road of experience for him. As for me? I've been good :) Jenny and I went dancing Saturday night and she managed to pick up a fellow--it'll be interesting to see what she does with that ;) And I danced a little with Ricardo from Peru--ooh, how exotic, hm? He behaved himself well so I didn't have to lay the smack down, and dancing with him a little gave Jenny the chance to be more one on one with her dancing fellow. Truthfully, I also could have picked up a fellow, since he did ask for my number, but for one thing, I wasn't really interested, and for another, I think now maybe I could tell you I have a certain person in mind :) Of course, it's all very cool and different and exciting, but it's also very new so time to take it one step at a time. Think I can handle that? I hope so--sometimes I really am so impatient. But I usually can find plenty of patience when I'm waiting for something good.

There is one dilemna that arises from these new developments...he reads this blog! "Not again!" you say. Aye, unfortunately, tis true. Not that I mind his reading the blog, but there is that whole conflict of interest thing that may come up. For now, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and write what I would normally write. Eventually though, I might have to think about making some changes :(!!! Unless of course he promises to not read my blog...or maybe I just need one of those flashy things they use to erase your memory in MIB..hm...anyone know where I can get one? ;)

In five years I will be in collage

Yep, you heard it hear first. A new surge in art students arises as Kids are choosing to skip the dull old routine of attending college and going straight on into collage. When asked to comment, eighth graders stared blankly and said, "What?" Ahh, my wonderful eighth graders. Maybe they can't spell, maybe they can't write well in cursive, and maybe they can't tell left from right, but by God they will learn in my English class. At least that's my hope.

Right now I'm teaching just one of five classes of eighth grade English, taking on the 21 students of 3rd hour. And I've gotta tell you--I like them :) They're a good bunch of kids overall. Even though I can decipher the students I would have been friends with from the kids that would have made my life difficult, I see them all as "my class." Eventually I'll be teaching all five classes, taking on more and more responsibility as the weeks pass. For now though, I'm happy having the small load right from the start, getting accostomed to names and faces and the daily procedures that go on in the middle school. My class just rocks. There's one girl that has seen Pirates of the Caribbean more than I have; one boy that likes DBZ; and one kid that had a good laugh when on the first day of taking attendance I didn't know if the name was "Alexander" or "Alexandra" because the last part of the name was cut off in the copy...I had to ask and it turned out to be an Alexander, and he took it all quite well. Only one week, four days of classes and already I have stories to tell and am learning through trial and error. Sometimes it's easier than others, for instance, today I had a hard time keeping them quiet while they worked on prewriting in class. Some of the students not only wanted to keep on talking to each other; they wanted to talk to me too. Those little buggers :) You know how talkative I am, so it's all I can do to keep myself in check too! Ah well, I'm still learning too, so it's not like I'm going to have it all down now. Gotta learn something in the next two months of student teaching, right?

Tomorrow (well, later today since it IS after 1am) Jenny is supposed to be visiting, so that will rock da house. We're totally hitting Water St. for a couple drinks and a lot of dancing :) You know, tonight I actually ran into an aquaintance from APO that I hadn't seen for a year or so who is still going to school hear. She was at Target with her boyfriend and two of his roomies. They were buying Simpsons Jeopardy, and they actually invited me to go back to their house and play. Maybe if it were Star Wars Jeopardy I'd be tempted, but as it is, I almost never watch "The Simpsons" and would be horrible at the game. Not to mention, I'm not really good friends with her and I just met the rest of the guys, so it just didn't seem like a kosher idea. Besides, I'm a good girl, you know ;) Well, okay, I'm trying to be. Come on, you've got to admit that I'm doing better than last year. And with everything that's going on this year, I have a lot more incentive to be on my best behavior. So, I'm going to try to keep walking in the right direction. Maybe I can even start running. Or perhaps driving? :) For now, a good relaxing weekend and a full night's sleep. Sleep tight with amusing dreams!

Blame Canada

(No offense Homie) I had a great blog entry, and stupid blogger timed out and erased it all. I'm a bit peeved. Now I don't even feel like blogging it all again :( It was all cool and reflective about my teaching experience thus far. ::sigh:: I guess I'll redo it tomorrow. Right now I'm just too tired, even though I had a LONG nap today, only woken up by a very welcomed, short but sweet phone call :) School comes early tomorrow, so I better get some more sleep. Until next, may your dreams be pleasant and beautiful.

Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memories...

Last night I did something I really did not want to have to do, but I had to do it. I broke things off with Craig. I had been having doubts for a while, and this last weekend I finally got to the point where I knew I couldn't put it off any longer and I had to really face the fact that Craig and I are just at two different points in our lives and have too few connections to make it through the barriers. And I know that really this will be a much better situation for him, knowing he has at least 3 years of college ahead of him and so many experiences yet to have. We just were not right for each other, but I wanted to take the time to make sure. Now I know, and though I feel pretty bad for putting him through it all, in the end it's a good thing for both of us.

As for teaching, so far so good. The kids are going to be a handful and more, but I'm hoping that thinking on my feet and my sense of humor will get me through it without too many scars. Getting plenty of sleep should also help...I should have been in bed hours ago. BUT, I got to see Tiff who I hadn't seen since she left EC over a year ago. Now she's back to work on her schooling again. YAY! :) And Ms. Jenny might be coming to visit this weekend! So, all around it's good times with good friends. AND...there might just be some more good things around the corner...or closer ;)

P.S. Sorry the comments aren't working. YACCS is having issues with their server, and they're doing the best they can. I miss comments :( But soon! Soon they shall return! Until then, you can always email me if you've got something good to say ;) (just check the left margin of the blog for the link "ask me") Sweet dreams, all!

It's so much better when everyone is in--are you in?

Tomorrow is the start of the school year. I'll be up in about 6 hours, and then it's go go go. For all intents and purposes I should be at home, but I'm here in the computer lab blogging and emailing and chatting online. Bleah, what's new about that? So much swirling through my head right now, I'm not sure I'd even know where to begin blogging about it. I haven't even decided what I'm going to wear tomorrow for school, let alone what I'm going to do about the rest of my life. I've got some major responsibilites to take care of this week, some of which I'm REALLY not looking forward to...but I'm going to do the best I can. Sometimes I'm really mixed up and downright irresponsible, but hopefully you know by now that I mean well. Eh, life's for learning, and I'm definitely still learning. I have a feeling this school year could be interesting. Wish me luck--I'm going to need it.