I could catch the bouquet

I've gone to two weddings in the last month, both of which gave me opportunities to snatch the bouquet for myself. I actually had it in my hands in one, and in the other, I probably could have jumped for it if I wanted to. But never have I really put that much effort forth. I guess I've always figured, there's someone else in the crowd who desires to get married more than I do and she should get the bouquet. Not to mention, the whole traditional dance with the garter guy--considering that it's usually some 12 year old who catches the garter, you can perhaps guess why I wouldn't be so anxious to be the lucky dance partner.

Aside from that, weddings tend to give me pause, encouraging me to think about the choices I've made and the experiences I've had that have brought me to the point I am at, somewhere I really hadn't ever imagined myself. But I don't think I'm sorry. (Not that I have much choice in the matter anyway) Thing is, yeah, I am pretty sure I'd have been happy with Mike N., and if he had been good to me, I would have loved him my whole life. However, that's not the way things went, and yeah, it's been a rough and shitty road but is where I am so bad? For some reason, as I was watching the bride and groom dancing for the first time as husband and wife, I thought to myself: someday I will have a love like that. Someday, I will enjoy my wedding like that with a guy who beams a great smile when he looks at me. It might not be anytime soon, but I know it's possible. I will be dancing with a special guy who won't just be "moderately happy with me"--he'll be VERY happy with me, the kind of happy that comes from knowing someone really understands and appreciates you and being granted the awesome chance of being able to spend the future becoming even closer to that person.

Sorry if this sounds overly sappy--it's just the way I am sometimes. I have no idea what my future will bring, but I do know that even if life isn't exactly the way I plan, there are wonders in it I have yet to discover, experiences I have barely touched upon. And when I do find a love that special, there will be no doubt, no doubt at all.