Finally back to blogging, sorry about the delay. This last weekend was busy with going home and my bro Scott's wedding reception and all that jazz. The reception was pretty fun, with my three dates, my three women ;) hehehe, I took my friends Jenny, Jenni and Tricia as my guests, since I couldn't really think of a guy I wanted to drag there. We had a good time, doing a variety of things: dressing up, dancing, drinking, looking demure...(I was trying to think of another "d" word...close enough). It was basically like one big party that included a lot of family members, strangers and friends. There really wasn't much of the traditional stuff, since there was no wedding party, no bouquet, no garter (as far as I know), and no chicken dance. But, my brother Christopher and I both gave toasts to our brother Scott and his new wife Jennifer. I think I did a pretty good job--I was a bit more put together in my speech than Chris, but then, there's a reason why I'm an English major. I did feel bad though, since no one from Jennifer's side gave a toast to her. It seems like she really doesn't have any close female friends, and whatever male friends she had did not speak up, nor did any family members--I suppose she's kind of used to being on her own though as she is an only child.

Another interesting part of the evening was seeing a bunch of Chris and Scott's friends. Most of them I hadn't seen for at least a few years. One of them, John, who's wedding I attended a few years back with Mike (heck, Mike even danced with me--swing and mambo...if you can believe that!), was there with his wife. John came up to me, gave me a hug and complimented me and said I had to save him a dance. So later on, he came up and dragged me onto the dance floor. It was weird dancing with him, cuz he had this look like I knew that he thought I looked pretty good, and we always had this sort of strange picking on each other, slightly flirtatious friendship...so, I had this feeling like I had to keep my distance. Really not a big deal at all, I mean he's happily married and he's older than me, and it's not like anything ever would have happened or anything like that, but it was just weird seeing him see this older version of me. He even asked me, "Can I ask you something? When did you grow up?" That's kind of how I felt all night...like wow...I guess I really am an adult now.

This continued throughout the night when a couple of Scott's friends said hi and did a double take in recognizing me--it didn't help that I hadn't seen many of them for quite a while, and pretty much never on a formal occasion in which my hair was all done up and I was wearing a snazzy black dress with a big slit of the side and I had some makeup on and all that jazz. I found a little satisfaction in all that, even though they're all married--it's still nice to be recognized as a fairly good looking woman vs. an akward younger sister of a friend. One isn't married, and I don't think he's seeing anyone either, and I did have a crush on him when I was younger and used to see him more often cuz his parents are friends with my parents. Well, he (David) came with his parents to the wedding, so I talked with him a bit--he's Chris's age--and found out about where he's working and what he's doing in life. For most of the night, he stayed in the same place, with his parents or by himself, so that was kind of sad looking. I figured, I should dance with him at least once....it was weird thinking that I'm finally of the right age and in the right place to actually "make a move" and ask him to dance. Not that he's really a hottie or anything, and I really don't know him that well anymore--had not seen him for a few years--but it was just one of those opportunities I knew I should take.

However, I didn't get around to asking him...I just felt sort of embarrassed...plus there really weren't that many slow songs to be had. Anyway, eventually his mother came up to me and my friends and said that one of us should ask him to dance. I was not about to let this opportunity slip away (plus my friends are taken anyway) so I went up to him and said "Your mom told me not to take no for an answer" with a smirk on my face ;) Of course he could not refuse this offer, and we went out onto the dancefloor and danced for a short time. It was interesting to say the least. I mean, no big romantic sparks or anything like that, just interesting. I was going to be traditional and do the hand on shoulder, hand in hand thing, but he put his arms around my waist instead, so oh well. We talked while we danced, so it was a good way of getting to know him a bit better. And that was that. I wonder what he thought of the whole thing. I'm sure it must have been strange for him too, since I've been a kid to him for most of his life I think. He was always really quite nice to me though, and he even bought me a birthday present one year, which I still have. He's an artsy sort of guy, very unique. Perhaps he is the reason why I'm attracted to guys like that sometimes...I can think of one in particular who is quite similar to him in some regards...likes incense, rather skinny, tall, has unique decorations in his room, has some artistic talent, quiet sometimes, has that sort of pensive/thoughtful look....perhaps you can figure it out. Anyway, I knew David since I was born pretty much, so there's a definite possibility that there was some influence there.

Other than that, not much happened. I asked a random guy to dance after I introduced myself to him. His name is Craig and he's a pre-med student at UW-Milwaukee, a sophomore and friend to Jennifer. We danced for about 2.5 dances since they were the last dances of the evening and it was fun talking to him. But like the other dances, that was that, nothing real exciting, nothing came of it. The most fun I had was dancing with Jenny and Tricia--we really let loose sometimes...I love dancing at weddings when there's enough people on the dancefloor that you feel like you can do anything and you really just don't care. That's how I was even when there were just a few of us out there--I really didn't care what Jennifer's family thought or my family thought...I just tried to have a good time with my friends and enjoy seeing another brother happily married. There were a few brief moments of melancholy...after all, that's what weddings are about...someone has found happiness, and I was reminded of my loss. I was reminded of the last wedding I attended, when I met Scotty and when I was fresh from trying to get over my summer fling. And the big loss...I thought of the guy I thought for a long time that I was going to marry. That's the thing about weddings--they're a great time for the most part, but as happy as you are for the couple, if you don't have love...it's a sharp reminder of that fact.

However...then I kick my own ass and remind myself that I'm turning 22 on Thursday, so it's time to plan a party and have a good time and remmeber that I have a whole life in front of me, and that perhaps someday I will find love again, but until then, it's my job to make sure my life is fulfilling in and of itself. Which is why I'm making some grandiose plans for my future. This summer, I'm going to work hard to save up for my student teaching in London and the touring of Europe I plan to do right afterwards. I'm also going to finally buy a guitar and teach myself how to play it--which I should have time to do since my summer is going to be basically just working and not working. After I graduate and get back from Europe, I'm going to get a job--whether it be subbing or something to do with my writing, and I will save up money for my own place. That will be until that next fall, when I get my first real teaching job. I'll work somewhere for about a year or two, not sure where. I'm thinking perhaps Boston. Then I will get some $ gathered, and I will either remain in Boston if I really like it and try and get my masters degree while I'm there, perhaps even from Harvard. OR I might save up enough $ to move to England for a while, going to school there and working. I realize that would be expensive and I wouldn't save up much, but I really want to get my masters and perhaps my PhD from a really good school and studying English in England just seems like a good plan.

So those are my grandiose plans, which really, if I'm in the situation I'm in now, I do indeed plan on doing something like that. Life as it is now, would just be too boring if I got a job here in EC or in GB or wherever--I need to see things and do things. Perhaps that will change, bur right now, I know that would probably be the best idea for me. Anyway, so here's a massive blog to make up for the slacking off ;) Check ya later!