Consider this a prelude to Katie's Random Advice Post KRAP

This has nothing to do with future KRAP posts, but the topic is random and it seems to impart some form of wisdom...somewhere.. No, don't ask me where. I said NO! Don't make me come over there...

Anyway, this is some advice I have on Procrastination:

The American Heritage Dictionary that I received from the principal as a 5th grader because some stupid kid put a wad of gum in my previous dictionary while it was sitting peacefully and unprovokingly in my desk...defines procrastination as the act of "putting off, especially habitually, doing something until a future time. It comes from the Latin word "procrastinare." If the dictionary based off the definition of procrastination based off of my life, it would simply state "the act of living, especially habbitually."

I have no idea when it started. Something must have clicked somewhere in grade school, between grades 1 and 3. By third grade, I was waiting until the last minute to study for tests, cramming the multiplication tables we had to memorize, and taking my sweet time getting ready for school so that I almost always had to rush on my bike. But those were small things, trivial things that I didn't do all the time. The first strong memory I have of a REAL act of procrastination is my 4th grade research report.

The 4th grade research report was a milestone. Never before had any of us poor, unsuspsecting students known what it was to...write an entire research report. Evidently, I still didn't know after the teacher explained it to us. I had the handouts, followed the instructions, and managed to pretty much bomb the paper. It was a tough blow, a B -. Why did I bomb the paper? Good question, I'm glad you brought that up. Each student was required to write a report on a country. A country!! Don't ask me how a 4th grade student was supposed to write a 3-4 page paper on an entire civilization, but we were. I had Mexico.

I don't remember why I had Mexico. I have a feeling I chose Mexico. Seemed like a good idea at the time--likely because I had actually seen a little of Mexico (a really not-so-nice border town, but to me it was enough..I was so prepared to write this 3-4 page paper summing up the nation). I was well armed with sources--several books about Mexico, and my trusty World Book Encylcopedias that I was dependent upon for any report from second grade on up (until I realized sometime in late middle school that those World Book authors from 1981 weren't really good at telling the future). And so I scanned my books, picking out any facts that were easily summarized and accessible, like facts out of an encyclopedia. Travel books were the best--they had neat lists of cities, museums, shopping centers, and other tourist attractions. Those lists were undoubtably MUCH easier to absorb and spit out into report form. I diligently worked...the night before. Considering my age and my parents, I doubt I was up until even 12am, but it certainly seemed late. I struggled to make my paper long enough, frustrated by the boring chapters describing various customs that were too time consuming to write about. With what I thought was a stroke of genius (she'll never know!), I resorted to listing various hotels, motels, and camping areas. It was a masterpiece.

You can imagine my surprise when I saw the B - penned on a piece of note paper, thoughtlessly stapped to my beautiful cover page, complete with a Washable Crayola Marker rendition of the Mexican flag and a sombrero, the title "MEXICO" neatly scrawled in black marker above the flag...and sombrero (which was kind of floating in the bottom right corner). I even borrowed a neat looking clear covered binder folder from my friend Angela, you know, to add that Professional spice. And I got a B -...I mean, if you wanted to know about Mexico, wouldn't you be concerned about what trailer parks you stow your RV in?


So, let this be a lesson to you all out there. Procrastination isn't a habit, it's a lifestyle. So if you have any children who are taking on procrastinator virtues, I suggest you...well, actually, I have no idea what you should do. You probably were procrastinators too when you were a child. Heck you're probably procrastinators too--so THAT'S where she gets it from! HA! Well!....oh, where was I, oh yes, what to do if your chilid is a procrastinator...eh, may as well just say screw it--there's no reforming him or her. May as well embraced it...and remember: At least the kid is DOING the work!

and that concludes this edition of...KRAP!