To make up for lost months...

Sorry, but be prepared for a full on stream-of-consciousness rant.

I'm in a very sappy mood and listening to music that played at my wedding. Watching three movies either about Jane Austen or based on her novels in the last few days will do that to you. Not getting enough sleep and having stressful days at work will also have you thinking sentimentally.

I'm not complaining. I love my job. I love that my colleagues and supervisors think highly enough of my abilities to entrust me with responsibilities. I just don't love it that at least 12 hours of my day are taken up by my job.

I know that I can say "No." But I can't bring myself to it. Earlier this week, I had a much more personal epiphany: I am just like my brothers.

My oldest brother works 3 jobs to support his family. Every time I've asked him about it and wondered why he doesn't back off on his hours and insist that his wife pick up a part time job, he assures me that he likes what he's doing. He is a teacher, a tutor, and a manager at a fast food restaurant.

My second oldest brother has been working as a sort of "plant manager" for a major packaging corporation. His job has supplied him with a blackberry so he can get tens of emails and calls every day, even after he has "punched out" for the day. When I went to visit him in the fall, half the weekend was spent with him either at work, on the computer, on his phone, or talking with work colleagues.

And me. What am I? I certainly make less than both of my brothers. I also do not have a family to support. So why work so much? I just don't know. Teaching demands a lot of time, effort, and heart. It sounds lame, but it's so true. I give something of myself every day, even when I think sometimes I just hate my students, I still give them more. I can't stop giving.

No, I'm not an exceptional teacher. I feel far under qualified for that designation. But what is driving me? To be an excellent teacher? To be more? While my oldest brother has nearly completed his masters degree even while balancing family and jobs, I have not yet begun my post-bachelor education. I also haven't really even thought seriously about renewing my license, even though it expires in June 2010. It always seemed so far away. Now it's just two years.

I've been a teacher now for four years. I keep pleading with myself and others that I'm just a new teacher; I have so much to learn and am not ready for all of the things that are thrown at me. Today I mentioned that to an older and wiser teacher while we worked together to run a graduation rehearsal. I said, "What am I doing here? Shouldn't some other more experienced teacher by running this? When did I become a senior teacher?"

It is rather ridiculous. At most other schools, I'd be still quite low on the totem pole, with many hands and minds to guide me. But with my school being so small and so young, I've been pushed toward...no, strike that. Honestly, I've sought out a position of power. Does that make sense? Why would I wish more work?!

I blame it on my family's work ethic and on Girl Scouts. My family's motto would probably to always try my hardest and they will always be proud. As for Girl Scouts, I was always taught to leave things better than the way I found them. I'm fairly certain they were talking about cleaning the latrines and picking up litter, but apparently I've taken it as a maxim for fixing the world.

And what good can I do? What good have I done? So far, I've managed to do a barely passable job at sending two senior classes out into the real world. As hard as I tried and felt like I was doing right, I still feel like I failed to prepare them for the competitive society. The rest of the students, well, I guess I have at least one more year to try again.

Anything else? I suppose I did start an online school newspaper, but it's pretty bogus because I haven't managed to get even the second edition published. It's been finished for a month, but I just haven't taken the time to fix the one glitch in the image for the link bar buttons. I meant to have Chad check on my html stuff when he was visiting the newspaper class as a guest speaker, but I forgot. I guess there's better luck this summer and next year, but I still feel like I've been a less than mediocre editor-in-chief.

Hm...I suppose there is a sort of "library" now that I'm there. My school has no library and no media specialist. I guess I'm it, but with a full load of teaching, that means I do a half-assed job. I have a few hundred books that I've contributed through garage sales, used book stores, and my own collection, which I've stuck on two bookcases in my classroom. The students sign out the books in a binder. That's supposed to hold them responsible. Problem is, I'm too damn busy to check on the progress of it, so I forget to follow up on students to hold them accountable for missing books. ::sigh:: I'll probably lose at least 20 books this year. As it is, I lost at least 2 hardcover Harry Potter books. I'm not buying them again, used or not.

It's my second year at the same school. It's supposed to be EASIER! And yet, I feel more overwhelmed than ever. Seriously, my house would look like complete shit if Chris wasn't putting 4/5 of the effort to hold it together. (He probably does more like 9/10 of the work.) I feel like I'm working more hours and teaching more crap. My lessons are less inventive and I'm using more worksheets and doing more essays. What happened to the dream? When did it become all about this pressure; this constant pressure to get those kids to learn EVERYTHING they need to know and to have ALL the skills they need to succeed? Why isn't as fun? Why do I care so much?

God, I sound like such a full-of-myself whiner. I'm not that good; not that kind hearted. I just feel so much more pressure now. I keep wanting to improve my lessons, and I feel I'm not being difficult enough--I'm not challenging them enough. But what the F do they want from me? I'm already putting in 8am-7pm days most days of the week. That leaves 4-5 hours of "free time." It sounds like a lot from this perspective, but when I'm staring down the clock, those minutes fly by...and I haven't even played video games for two months. What the hell have I done?

Alright. My mind is clearer now. Positives?

*Over 90% of my students don't hate me and I don't think any of the staff hates me.
*I really enjoy coming up with creative lessons (when I give myself time).
*I really enjoy being "on stage" every day when I'm teaching.
*I've learned a hell of a lot about teaching, literature, classroom management, and administrative duties.
*I made my own website.
*I do get holidays off and will have 3 weeks off in June before summer school starts.
*I just might have "reached" a few students this year.
*Chris hasn't left me yet despite his constant burden of being married to a teacher.
*I get my own "office" with two big windows and it can hold 50 people easily.
*If I get my masters degree (and I do plan to start on that track this fall), I can make a few more thousand dollars a year...so maybe in a few years I can start earning a livable wage, eh?

(On a side note, it is sort of sad how most of our country pities teachers for not having a high enough salary, but the most that's ever done with it is Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a teacher if" jokes and discounts at craft stores and book stores. And it is also sad that many people ignore the fact that people who work in other social services fields also get shit pay, but with no discounts or "Oh, you're a teacher" pity looks.)

Reacquainting Myself with Jane

I just had one of those "Duh" moments. For years I had this knowledge but didn't put two and two together until tonight. Here's my should-have-realized-this-years-ago epiphany:

The movie Clueless is based almost entirely on Jane Austen's Emma.

There you have it. It only took the English major/teacher ten years to figure it out.

Working Towards Resolutions

Alright, here are my "New Year's Resolutions" to be accomplished in no particular order and with only a half-assed intention of following through on all of them--I more expect to actually accomplish some of them, but not all. That's better than nothing, I suppose.

Physical Health
1. Keep going to karate class regularly. Aside from running and biking, this is the only exercise that I have found I really enjoy. It really puts my endurance, strength and flexibility to the test, and it's about time I put those aspects of my body to the test. I probably won't run regularly anymore--my knees are becoming a problem. But that's another resolution.

2. Start using the exercise bikes at the Y. It's not likely that I'm going to become a 4 season biker, but I think I can handle indoor cycling during these cold, messy months. It will also help strengthen some key muscle groups I need to work on, and I also won't suck so bad at biking in the spring.

3. Do some strength training around my problem areas--mostly my knees. I went to the doctor and she said I could either quit the strenuous activity or I could do some exercises to strengthen that area. Considering that karate is the first physical "sport" that I seem to be okay at and actually like, I don't think I'll be quitting anytime soon. Besides, I still have to wear that gi (after my mom hems it for me).

4. Eat less shit. For a while I was doing really well, eating more fresh produce and less fried foods. Lately I've been going out too often and taking shortcuts when making dinner instead of cooking full course meals that offer all the food groups. No more of that! Okay, well, less of that anyway. It's hard to eat right when I'm not home a lot.

5. Sleep better. I've been doing a better job at going to bed at a more reasonable hour (except tonight, I suppose), but I still need to try to do this more regularly. That way, I get up a little earlier, get to work earlier, and feel less disorganized and stressed when I get to work. Even an extra 15 minutes can make a big difference.

5. Don't sleep right away when I go to bed. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed during the work week that I don't take the time to "exercise" a little before I go to sleep. So, I'm going to try to, you know, "exercise" more often.

Mental Health
1. Work less! Somehow I have to either become more efficient or care about work less. Probably I will have to do a little of both. Naturally, it helps when I actually do more than 20 min of work on the weekend. Still, there's a time for work and a time for play, and right now I'm getting very little play time. In all aspects.

2. Write more! I seriously need to take more time to journal, write poetry/stories, and blog. It doesn't matter much to me which I do, as long as I take the time in some media to express my ideas in writing, not just speaking.

3. Read more! I'm sick of reading the same old crap. Right now the most I've been reading is the news online. While it is good to stay informed, my brain needs escape and to think about things more metaphysically at times--I need fantasy, adventure, mystery, and other genres to keep my imagination alive.

Spiritual Health
Honestly, my spirituality lately has been mostly a joke. For all I've done to develop and express myself spiritually, I may as well call myself an atheist. But I'm not an atheist, nor am I Christian or any other major religion. If I'm really going to call myself spiritual, but not religious, I need to take time to do some spiritual things.

This is hard to explain if you don't know me well enough to know my thoughts and ideas when it comes to my "faith," but here's sort of what I mean:

1. Meditate--I don't necessarily need to sit with a candle and stare at a wall for a half hour while sitting crosslegged and humming to myself. What I do mean is that I need to allow myself to sit or lay quietly for a while, with no other distractions, and just allow myself to clear my mind and exist for a while. Not to worry about all of the things I need to do, but to just let myself be myself and enjoy the fact that I am alive and breathing.

2. Appreciate nature--I always say that one of my major beliefs is in the "specialness" of nature. I can see the spiritual or divine in the beauty and wonder of nature. Well, if that is true, how come I spend so little time outside, or even looking outside. Despite the fact that it's friggen cold here, I need to take the time to go for a walk, observe my surroundings outside my window, stop at a park, or even do something cliche like watch the sunset or sunrise. I spend way too much time stuffed indoors and completely insular.

3. Help others--One thing I believe that all people should do is to do their utmost to be kind to others. That's simply a humanist thing. One could say I help others for a living, but I think sometimes I forget to be more kind when I leave work. I get so burned out from teaching that I don't feel like reaching out at all in my community. I'm not saying I'm planning to join a volunteer organization (I simply have no time for that at this point), but there are some activities and little, short things I could do in my neighborhood, even, such as stop at a block meeting or meet my neighbors more.

I'm sure there's some other things I should do. But I'm pretty sure half the things on the list are already not going to happen, so why add more?

Good Intentions

I think my brain is starting to fry. I spend so much of it doing work that I can't concentrate well on anything else during the week. Of course, blogging has definitely taken a back seat, as has using Facebook or MySpace. At the beginning of the year, I had such good intentions to blog more and make up some resolutions and shit. Not really a big surprise that I didn't. Sadly, work has just sucked up my life. The truly sad part is that I like it. I mean, I love it.

No, I am not a workaholic. Well, I don't think I am anyway. Are workaholics self aware? Despite my passion for teaching (though definitely not the office work or grading) I'm still being social, and I suppose that's the other part of the problem. Combine work with a social life, and I get just a couple hours a day for myself, if I'm lucky. That's necessarily a bad thing, except that it makes things a little stressful sometimes. Still, it's nice to hang out with people I don't typically see that often.

For instance, it's still f-ing awesome that Jenni is in town now. We don't live that close, but Jenni makes a really good effort in driving up here to hang out, even on week nights. I'll have to get down there soon. I'm trying to get a lot of time in with Karin too, since she'll be moving down to Madison after her wedding in mid-April.

Here are some things on the bright side:

• I finally finished putting together the online school newspaper. It's not online yet, due to having to wait for the tech guy to meet with me. I'll let you know when it's done. I would post about it, but I prefer not having the whole world know where I work.
• I'm still rocking karate class at the YWCA. I probably couldn't kick anyone's ass YET, but Chris did get my a gi for my birthday :)
• The Christmas tree is still up. I guess the tradition continues. Now it's a Valentine's Day tree.
• I have reestablished old ties--I now can play Super Mario World on the SNES again! Yay for used game stores! (And losing games I KNOW I own totally sucks)

That's about all I can think of for now. If I don't post now, I'll never post this year.

This sucks. I want my YACCS comments back, but I haven't figured out how to do it with the new template and editing interface. I'm hoping to figure it out eventually. For now, I'm going to enable the Blogger comments. I just want the YACCS ones because it's a good, easy-to-use program and then all my archived comments will be there from the beginning.

In addition...

Oh yeah, and I updated my template. Surprised?

It's amazing what you can do when you know you have nearly a foot of grading to do. Yes, and it is sad when you measure your work in inches of paper.

Slacker As Usual

It's no surprise that I haven't updated it a long time. The reasons are plentiful, but really boil down to two things: 1) I've been using MySpace and Facebook more often. 2) I've always been a slacker and continue to be a slacker.

Some time in the next week I plan to create a top ten list of 2007 in preparation for the new year. By the way, since when is New Year's Eve referred to regularly as "NYE"? Somehow I didn't catch that until I saw it several times this year. For a while there I thought NYE was either a nightclub or a new alcoholic beverage. Close enough, I suppose.

Chris and I are hosting a NYE...bleah, I refuse to use it. Chris and I are hosting a New Year's Eve party at our place this year, which sounds like a lot of fun, but I have a feeling that most of our friends are going to bugger out and attend other festivities that evening. Oh well. I'm sure that even if our party has less than 10 people, it will still be a blast. Besides, there's always the Procrastinator's Ball the weekend following New Year's Eve. That's consistently been a great time.

I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Eid, etc. I think my highlights of the holidays thus far have been my nephew repeatedly saying, "1, 2, 3 smile!" as he ran around with the camera I gave him, and having my cousin Josh unexpectedly crashing our family Christmas celebration when the weather got bad on his way to his family's house. I might have even successfully passed on Telephone Pictionary to yet another worthy participant.

Feliz Navidad! Hasta El Neuvo Ano!

Severing and Binding

In two days, I sever a tie that cost me $60 last month. Comcast. I informed them that there was no f-ing way I was going to give them another dime, no matter what "deal" they were going to set up for me. For a year we payed $30/month, which seemed fairly reasonable. At no time when I signed up did they say, "This price is promotional and will DOUBLE after a year." Apparently, they didn't feel it was important information to share. Well, we put up the money for last month so we could take more time to peruse new providers, and we did finally find one that seemed very reasonable. We're going through USI Wireless, which is cooperating with Minneapolis, trying to make the whole city wireless accessible. What will the cost be? About $18.50 a month (by paying it all in one lump sum for a year's access) and $80.00 for their modem. Hm, let's see...$18 or $60...which one was I going to choose?

In other news, we're very, very annoyed with our landlord. He told us he was going to fix the insulation in the attic this summer. He didn't. I sent him a letter about it. No call. I called him a few days later. He was apathetic, "I'll call the contractor and see if he has the time." I told him that if he doesn't have the time, he can just pay for some of our outrageous heating bill. So far, no response. It has been 14 days, so I'll be calling him tomorrow. Eventually, if nothing gets done and no agreement is made, I will take him to court. Scary.

School is going alright. There are a few...challenging students this year, but that's to be expected. Not every student is going to be bright and cheery and ready to learn. Some are just going to be beeoches, no matter what you do. The funny thing is, students I had last year that were a little difficult look at the new students and give me sympathetic looks. How time flies...and children mature.

Married life? It pretty well rocks, even if both of us are pretty busy lately. Chris is still getting accustomed to his new work schedule, but we make a point of spending time together when he gets home from work (except now while I'm blogging). He is mildly amused/annoyed at my current addiction to Facebook, but he's managing alright. I'm sure he'll turn to the geek side eventually.

Speaking of, for the first time, I watched "Beauty and the Geek" for it's season premier. It was rather addicting. I might have to tune in again, even though reality TV usually turns my stomach. Either my appetite has changed, or the show is nearly decent.

The Honeymoon is Over

It was already over in the last blog entry, I suppose. OF COURSE the feelings are still there and Chris and I are very happily married. But the reality of jobs has really set in.

Chris started a part time job in the northwest burbs a few weeks ago. I started teaching for the fall school year this week. Granted, I have been working for most of the summer anyway, but it is a little different teaching a full load at the beginning of a school year. I have to say, though, I am psyched to be at the same school for a second year. FINALLY!

One thing that sucks is that Chris and I have different schedules now. Monday through Thursday, Chris works evenings, which means I only see him in the morning when I wake up and for about 2 hours before I fall asleep at night. It could be a lot worse, and I know we'll get used to it, but it's taking a while. I know it's especially hard for him since he would much rather be working full time during the day. But he's working hard and searching hard for a new job, and hasn't given up trying. He's got some patience, that's for sure. Hmmm, maybe that's one of the reasons I married him...

So yeah, not the end of the world. Just a setback that really isn't holding us back much. I just know it's gotta suck doing a job that doesn't involve using your college degree and isn't very thrilling. Work isn't fun anyway. Yeah, I like teaching. Sometimes I even love it. However, it does vacuum up huge swaths of my life, and there are times I really wish I had a 9-5 job that was truly over at 5. I'm just happy both of us are working at all. Sure, we're years away from having all of the things we want, but at least we have one thing taken care of--finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with. I mean, some people have everything--job, house, car, garden, pets, vacations, plasma TV, thrilling sex life, stellar workout program--but they are still not satisfied because they haven't found someone to love. Man, does that sound hokey...really, really lame.

But that doesn't make it less true. I just have to keep telling myself, and keep telling Chris, "We're damn lucky." So we had better appreciate it. Hell, we're alive! Life rocks.

Honey sweet honeymoon

During week after the wedding, Chris and I had a fabulous honeymoon in southeastern Minnesota. Sadly, that same area is suffering from severe flooding. But when we were there, it was beautiful, even though it was super hot.
We started our trist in Red Wing at the Moondance Inn--a super sweet bed and breakfast. The first and third floors were decked out with plenty of seating, included chaise lounges. The breakfast was phenomenal. Did I mention the king sized bed with black satin sheets and gold pillows?
The whirlpool tub wasn't much, but the room itself and the BED were fantastic.

Our first night out, Chris and I went out for a great dinner. We would have eaten anything, but we made a good choice with Liberty's for a good basic meal. Yummy fish. We stopped at a pretty little park a few blocks from our B&B. Red Wing is a really cute town I'd like to explore some more.
The next day we rented bikes and covered 20 miles via the Cannon Valley Trail.
Chris after 18 miles. Notice how comfortable he looks?Me after 18 miles. Notice how much more tired I look? My rear was sore!
The next day we went hiking up Barn Bluff. We took the North Trail--the most difficult of the trails, but thankfully, the most shady.
This is the "shortcut" I decided we should take. It wasn't so much a trail as a path that some people had used before. It started out really easy. It ended up being something I pretty much crawled up, digging my hands into the dirt to grip roots and rocks to keep myself steady. Maybe it wasn't the best idea I ever had.
This is Chris after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice how he is not winded and there's not a speck of dirt on him.
This is me after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice that I was really thirsty. Also note the dirt on my elbow and palm. If you had seen my knees, you'd have thought I was lost in the wilderness and had just returned to civilization.
I suppose the view was worth it. Needless to say, we didn't take the "shortcut" back down. The trail was dangerous enough for me.Before we left, we ate at an awesome restaurant that specialized in hors d'oeuvres. It was playfully called "Oar D'oeureves" since it is close to the river. The food was SO good. And the town was so cool. I'm definitely going back to Red Wing.
The next place we stayed at had a very different feel to it. But it was still quite nice. Very cute and antiquish. It was right across from the college.
The bed was smaller and MUCH squeakier. And, unfortunately, all of the rooms were VERY close together. Did I mention that we didn't see a young couple at either B&B all week? Still, I bet those older folks had fun.
One of the nice things about the Carriage House was that they had classic Schwin bikes in their garage that we could use. They even had a tandem bike, but it was sort of wobbly and I was rather intimidated by them. There were some nice trails around Lake Winona, but we didn't bike too much because it was really hot out and the trails were far from shady. We did stop at a sweet Drive In restaurant--oldest one in MN. Yummy shakes.
Check out the view from Garvin Heights. The best part, not photographed, was that Chris and I got there a minute before a whole group of Vacation Bible School teenagers showed up. Of course, we made out. Hey--we're married!
While in Winona, we got massages, pedicures, and saw a Shakespeare play at the college, "As You Like It." I think Chris liked it, though he was a little lost in the beginning. It was really well done. Perhaps I'll see next year's production.
On the way back, we made a point of stopping to look at Lake Pepin. We even skipped stones for a while. We didn't do very well, but we got a few going.

Well, that was our honeymoon. There was a lot more too it, but most of that I can't share ;) We had a wonderful time--it was really romantic. I think we'll make a stop by there again sometime. It almost rivals the North Shore. Almost.

And We Have the Pictures to Prove It

Our professional photos arrived yesterday! We were a little busy yesterday, so we just got to see them today. Yay! There are some super sweet ones, hilarious ones, and really mushy ones. A great mix done wonderfully well by our professional photographer. I'm really happy with pics I've seen from friends and family too. But here's a sample of the professional pics.

It Was a Beautiful Day

These are just a few pictures my brother took. Sadly, he didn't sit close enough to really get any good shots of the ceremony. I'm hoping that with the professional photographer and friends, we have many more and better pictures to share eventually. I can't wait to see a good pic of the bridesmaids--the only one I had was just not that flattering.




And in completely unrelated news that is not nearly so personal or relatively important but is also beautiful in its own way...

Heart It Races

Not an original title, by any means. I can't wait 'til the new AIH album comes out in August. But besides the title of a their hit single, it sort of sums up my life of late.

I'M MARRIED! EEK! I'm so happy it's sick. I get to call Chris my "husband." It's so bizarre. I love him and I love the idea of being married to him. It's just so weird to think of myself as being married. I mean, married people are old, right? ::sigh:: I guess I'm old now. Oh well.

We just got back from our honeymoon this afternoon and an hour and a half later I was on my way to Jenny's bridal shower. Tiring, but sweet to see friends after all the hoopla is done. Putting a wedding together is not an easy or short task. I could not have done it without tons of help--I love my friends and family, so dearly.

And I love all those friends and family who made it there and the ones who sent their best wishes our way. There's a few faces I didn't get to see, which was sad, but as it was I was so busy that I could barely say more than a few words to the folks that were present. I hear that's not unusual and I can understand why.

My computer's hot and so am I, so I won't blog about the honeymoon yet. But I'll have some fun details to say later. Maybe after I read Harry Potter 7. I bought it on Monday, after the wedding and before the honeymoon, and I promised Chris I wouldn't take it on the honeymoon. It was difficult, but he kept me busy enough not to notice ;) Now that I'm back, I'm itching for those pages, but to be fair, I'm holding off for one more night.

Tomorrow, no pages barred.

K.R.A.P: Reflections of a Soon-to-be-wed.

Okay, I don't have enough things done to constitute a copy paste and delete of my Things to Do list. But I do have a few pieces of advice for you. In fact, I think it's time for a long awaited addition of KRAP (Katie's Random Advice Post).

1. Go see Transformers. It's a kick-ass movie. It brought back childhood memories and dreams I had forgotten...don't ask me why I dreamed about Starscream holding me captive. When I get home, I'm totally digging out our bucket of Transformers. If my mom gave them away, I'm going to cry...and then buy a new toy.

2. Eat pudding. I have spent years unappreciative of chocolate pudding. No longer.

3. Just give up now. Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. I'm a procrastinator in everything always, even my own wedding.

4. Always RSVP, even if you have no intention of attending the event. Not RSVPing isn't so much rude as just really f-ing annoying and time consuming.

5. Go to bed. If you're staring at your computer screen and your eyes are glazing over, it's time for bed. No more stalling. Is reading a blog really worth giving up 15 minutes of sleep or a nice little cat nap with the window open, the breeze flowing lightly over your skin? I doubt it.

16 days and what do you get?

Married, I guess. Scheisse. The days are whizzing by me and I can't seem to lasso them into submission. Only 16 days until the wedding and 13 days until we drive back to GB to get things ready ahead of time. I'm excited and just crazy at the same time. I'd be fine if I didn't have summer school starting on Monday. I could have said no. I really could have said no. BUT, the money and the whole trying to impress the bosses...it was too much to resist. Besides, Chris is still trying to get a job, but he did have a sweet interview today, so I hope the best for him. But at least we have our honeymoon planned, even if it isn't exactly an exotic adventure.

Still, progress has been made in many areas. But there's more to do and less and less time to do it in. Some fun highlights? Getting a leather loveseat tomorrow (total hand-me-down), had fun bridal showers and awesome bachelorette parties, and have had 3 weeks of sleeping in. However, there are a few things hanging over me yet. These are the things still not checked off my "to do" list:

My Wedding:
1. Purchase some ribbon to attach some of the decorations for the ceremony.
2. Make sure our DJ has the songs we put together on CD and has the correct playlist for the wedding.
3. Go through the options the photographer sent to us and choose the shots we want.
4. Buy some details such as: a pen and a cake knife and server.
5. Write my vows.
6. Write up our special Unity speech.

What about for other people's weddings?
Frankly, at this point, other people's weddings are the least of my concerns. Ask me after July 27.

What about school?
1. FILE a few more stacks of papers that are left with other junk in my dining room.
2. Plan more than the first day of summer school. It's hard to break old habits, but I'll go insane if I don't.
3. Register for and take a class about web publishing so that I can help create an online school newspaper for the school next year.

Life?
1. Take Chris's mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother shopping for their dresses they will wear to our wedding.
2. Bike a lot all over the place in a lame attempt to make the bike purchase worthwhile and get in better shape.
3. Try running a bit in the mornings, if I get the ambition. Biking just seems a lot easier and I get farther.
4. Call my grandmother more often.
5. Write more, watch less TV, and finally use that teeth whitening kit. (I've been super awesome about not drinking tea or coffee for the past few weeks.)
6. Make less lists. Accomplish more on lists.

Wow, looks like I've made progress everywhere EXCEPT in my overall life. Baby steps?

Ass-thetically Pleasing

Chris and I went biking today. The total trip was about 16 miles, but we did take a few breaks for el bano and for playing some catch with a baseball and a frisbee--no, not at the same time, though I suggested it and I bet it would have been the awesomest game ever :P It was a good ride to get me out of my complacent, sedentary funk, but my ass certainly does hurt now.

In other more sightly news, I've managed to get a few things accomplished from my list of the previous blog entry. Here's the current list (more for my sake than yours):

My Wedding:
1. Purchase decorations for ceremony and reception at already decided online site.
2. Add MORE songs to and weed out songs from the ceremony and reception music playlists.
3. Talk to the photographer to figure out when we need to be there and if he needs any other information about us for the wedding pictures.
4. Buy some details such as: party favors, a sign in book and pen, and other little traditional details...I have no idea what, but there's always more things to spend Spend SPEND on.
5. Clean up the house in preparation for people either staying the weekend or stopping over for my bachelorette pre-party.
6. Find my birth certificate and social security card so that I can go to the county clerk and apply for a marriage license with Chris. Sort of important, hm?

What about for other people's weddings?
1. Buy party favors for Jenni's bridal shower.
2. Plan games and fun activities for Jenni's bridal shower (and later bachelorette party).
3. Make food for Jenni's bridal shower.
4. Make plans with Tricia for Jenni's and my bridal shower/bachelorette party in MN.
5. Purchase gifts for Jenni's, Elyssa's, and Jenny's weddings.

What about school?
1. FILE all of stacks upon stacks of papers that are now stuffed in two file boxes that are stacked with other junk in my dining room.
2. Plan the curriculum for and teach summer school despite the fact that I'll be taking 2 weeks off. I guess they really need me, and I'm in no position to say no.
3. Register for and take a class about web publishing so that I can help create an online school newspaper for the school next year.

Life?
1. Take Chris's mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother shopping for their dresses they will wear to our wedding.
2. Bike a lot all over the place in a lame attempt to make the bike purchase worthwhile and get in better shape.
3. Try running a bit in the mornings, if I get the ambition. Biking just seems a lot easier and I get farther.
4. Call my grandmother more often.
5. Write more, watch less TV, and finally use that teeth whitening kit. (I've been super awesome about not drinking tea or coffee for the past few weeks.)
6. Make less lists. Accomplish more on lists.

On Changing Names

In a little over a month, I'll be changing names. The name I've had for the past 26 years, will no longer be mine. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about that. I'm a little excited, for change can be interesting, but I'll also a little nostalgic about the name passed to me from my father. For most people, it won't be a big deal at all, for they hardly think about my last name, unless they're trying to decipher me from a different Katie they know. But at work, that's a different story. Students and faculty alike know me and call me by my last name. What will it feel like to have the unfamiliar notes of a new nomenclature addressed to me?

Enough of the high talk. To business. How many days until the wedding? One day less than six weeks so...41 days. Just 41 more days. And what do I have to do within that time frame? Let's check:

1. Pick out and purchase centerpieces for the tables.
2. Pick out and purchase decorations for the ceremony and reception hall.
3. Add songs to and weed out songs from the ceremony and reception music playlists.
4. Talk to the DJ to make sure 1) he's still planning to do the wedding and 2) figure out a time to meet and discuss payment, setup, and music selections.
5. Talk to the photographer to figure out when we need to be there and if he needs any other information about us for the wedding pictures.
6. Buy some details such as: a garter, a toss bouquet, party favors, a sign in book and pen, and other little traditional details.

What about for other people's weddings?
1. Send out Jenni's bridal shower invites--thankfully they're almost completely finished.
2. Buy party favors for Jenni's bridal shower.
3. Plan games and fun activities for Jenni's bridal shower (and later bachelorette party).
4. Make food for Jenni's bridal shower.
5. Make plans with Tricia for Jenni's and my bridal shower/bachelorette party in MN.
6. Purchase gifts for Jenni's, Elyssa's, and Jenny's weddings.

What about school?
1. Finish grading for the school year.
2. Clean up my classroom and FILE all of stacks upon stacks of papers laying around my room.
3. Decide if I am absolutely positively needed to teach summer school this year, despite the fact that I will need to take 2 weeks off for my wedding and Jenni's wedding.
4. Possibly teach summer school.
5. Register for and take a class about web publishing so that I can help create an online school newspaper for the school next year.

I'm sure there are all sorts of things I'm forgetting about. And I know this is not exactly an exciting blog entry. But it certainly helps to jot things down in a list so that I can sit back and prioritize what must be done when. Alright, time for a break. I love watching streaming anime online...for free.

May...be I will accomplish something

What have I been doing? Why haven't I been blogging? Here's rough outline:
*making wedding invitations--still in progress
*editing a manuscript for my boss--still in progress
*getting grades done for the quarter and semester--still in progress
*arranging other wedding details such as the registry, Chris's ring, officiant, dress alterations, bridesmaid jewelry, decor, etc.

And while doing this, my main goal has simply been to survive. So far, so good. But I'm fading fast. I need sleep, badly, but it's not going to happen any time soon.

Once a month just isn't enough

I know this is pretty pathetic. Looking back at my archives, I see years of quality blogging now in the last year going down the drain. It doesn't help that almost no one that originally blogged with me still blogs now. Blogging never was supposed to be a big deal. I was just doing it for fun and to keep track of things I thought about. It was really just an online journal and a way of having a good time communicating with friends far away. I suppose blogging fits more with a college lifestyle.

As for my resolutions, they're slowing coming along. I don't care to repeat any of it now, but let's just say I have a long way to go. The weather is beautiful and I haven' t been outside all day. Chris has been really down the last couple days because of issues at work. It's like a role reversal, but I'm sorry he has to go through that bullshit. It's not fun from any side of it.

Yesterday a big group of us went out for Barbara's birthday. It was nice meeting some new people, even some that share some geeky interests. OOOOH, and that reminds me. One told me about an anime website I might be interested in so I can watch Inuyasha. Hm...do I blog more or do I check it out now? As if that's a question.

Progress of Resolutions...bleak

Even though I truly despise the idea of reviewing my "progress," I'm doing it anyway. Is it any better that I recognize how shittily I'm progressing? Or would it be better if I had my head up my ass? I suppose that would improve my flexibility. I love using adverbs.

The Body:
1. Work Out - Use the free gym at school at least 3-4 days a week...no. Well, the first couple weeks I could blame my minor surgery. Then intense work stress. But now...just lack of routine. That and my room has been about 90 degrees for the past couple weeks, so it hasn't exactly made me want to run down to the gym and pass out.

2. Eat Healthy - Decrease the snacks. Increase the veggies and fruit. Reduce tea and coffee consumption...eh. I've been better about the veggies and fruit. I even ate a couple apples! But the tea and coffee especially have been more difficult to shake. All in good time.

3. Use mouthwash daily and floss 2-3 times a week...halfway there. I've got the mouthwash part down. Now just to be willing to take the 5-10 minutes to floss around my stupid retainer. We'll see.

4. Maintain length and health of hair just long enough to get through the wedding and honeymoon and then...chop it, highlight it, and spike it, yo...no problem. Okay, so this goal is about as difficult and as exciting as watching grass grow.

The Mind:
1. Keep up with work - Don't let work pile up and cause late nights of avoidable stress...a little better. But I'm still behind.

2. Get the Wedding planned - Again, don't let the tasks pile up and cause stupid stress. Take it one step at a time and get everything planned out in advance... just need the cake, wedding list, invitations, and registry...and 20 other small things.

3. Stay in touch with friends and family - Doing great. As though this is a goal I would avoid.

4. Write! - Suck. I again missed an entire month so AGAIN my blog archives look dumb because there is another month missing from the past year.

5. Keep the dream - I'm still dreaming.

6. Consider grad school - Still considering.

7. Expand my musical horizons - New bands for me: Final Fantasy, Dirty Three, Lily Allen, The Prodigals, and perhaps more yet on the horizon.

The Mundane:
1. Budget - Doing better with not eating out as much, at least during the work week. Still blowing money on frivolous items now and then. But doing better overall.

2. Keep it clean - We're doing okay. Chris is much better at it than I am, but then, I do work more hours. AND the TREE IS DOWN! Can you believe it? It won't be a Memorial Day tree this year!

3. Neighbors - They're still here. And still quiet. I guess that's good.

Is there any hope for me this March? Perhaps. If not, at least we can have a good time being Irish in a little over a week. Party at our place!