An Attempt at Alleviating Boredom

Being home right now when I would typically be at school is driving me nuts. I feel like going to bed right now, but I'm not tired. What else is there to do? Talk online? Yeah, talking online with friends is good, but not many people are up right now, and most that are have other things occupying them. Do homework? I could, but I'm really not in the mood for it--home just is not conducive for working on homework. When I'm at home, I think about the people I could see around town, the places I'd like to go, and pretty much anything and everything non-school related. So what am I doing with my free time? Talking online a bit, blogging, and staring at my homework....and doing all of this somewhat half-heartedly. Not that I don't enjoy chatting wiht my friends; I would just rather be seeing friends in person. But it's Sunday night, and there's nothing going on.

The rest of the weekend was full of activities for the most part. Thursday I drove to GB, hung out at home a bit, and then went over to Mike, Nate, and Chuck's apt for a snack and some company. We just watched some tv, ate Taco Bell, and talked. Friday I got up earlier than I would have liked to help my mom with preparations for Beth's baby shower (like planning games and making/decorating cookies) and running various errands. That evening I was invited by Mike to join Nate, Lisa, Chuck, and him out to Caffe Espresso for dinner. That really hit the spot--mmmm, flavored coffee and swanky coffee house. Of course, Chuck in his brightness decided to purchase a bottle of wine for himself, and drink it...himself...during dinner. Needless to say, this lightweight was a joy as we were heading out of Espresso and while hanging out at the mall afterwards :P That guy really needs to know when to stop. He wasn't THAT drunk at the mall, but drunk enough to be VERY expressive, be annoyingly touchy feely, knock over some game packages at a software store, and wander around looking lost when thinking about how to get himself to a bathroom. ::sigh:: And of course he needed to ride in MY car on the way from the mall to their apt. That was a joy. Anyway, I have to get going. My dad wants the computer right now for some reason...how great. I'll continue the story of my oh so exciting weekend at a later time. Until then!

On the Road Again

It appears I just can't get enough of my car. Once again I will be packing the trunk full of my precious cargo, grabbing some snacks and a drink, and driving away from the not-so-interesting city of EC. This time it's not for an adventurous soiree to the "exotic" land of Chicago; it's a three-day weekend respite at home in GB...of course using the term "respite" rather loosely since I'm sure my parents will do their best to make it as unrestful a weekend as possible, but that's nothing unusual. The weather isn't exactly cooperating with my idea for a relaxing drive, but sometimes I enjoy a nice overcast day for driving--it gives me more cause to think, to mull over ideas and situations in my head.

I have a feeling that this weekend will be...interesting. Not that anything super exciting or different is going to happen, but I think it will be a bit weird. Tonight I'll probably chill with my family, tomorrow I'll do some shopping for the baby shower and then I'm supposed to hang out with Mike and such, Saturday is the baby shower for Beth and the bday party for my grandpa and then likely chillin with Jenni, and Sunday I'll drive back to EC. Sometime during the weekend I'm hoping to visit with Joe, since it was his bday last Sunday and I haven't seen him for a bit. By all accounts, it should be a fairly fun weekend, but it also might be a little stressful with all the current events. My dad just got out of the hospital yesterday, so I imagine there'll be some adjustments at home and he probably won't be feeling that great. Which means I'll be doing some housework and likely running some errands. Not to mention the parties on Saturday afternoon which will require planning, set-up, and facilitating--I can't say I'm an experienced thrower of showers, and I know my sis-in-law Jennifer isn't either.

That's the thing, Jennifer really isn't into those kinds of traditions--bridal showers, baby showers, bachelorette parties, wedding traditions, family reunions, big holiday celebrations, etc. Especially anything that involves close girl friends or siblings. She's an only child, and was also a tomboy, so she doesn't have a lot of experience in it all, so she rejects most of it. My mom wants to include her in it all, cuz Beth is REALLY into all those traditions and would feel hurt if Jennifer wasn't a part of it all, since they are supposed to be "sisters" as well. I feel bad thinking this way, but really, sometimes Beth is just too damn sensitive. Last weekend when I was home, she was complaining (in tears) about how my dad dismisses her sometimes, wanting to spend time alone with Christopher. Granted, she's pregnant, so she's bound to be extra-sensitive and hormonal and all that, but she's like that without a 2lb fetus kicking her bladder too. I know my parents are FAR from perfect, but it's not like her parents have been so wonderful. I mean, they're having a shower for her down there, but she and Chris settled in GB and not the big city of Milwaukee for a reason--her parents are not nearly as supportive as Chris's. And I know QUITE well that my dad can be a real pain in the ass, but once you realize that, there's no sense crying about it. Sometimes he's just an insenstive bastard, but it's not because he doesn't care (if that makes sense). And Beth's argument that because Chris and her are married, she's going to be around all the time, just sounds soooo lame. I don't think I could stand being around my husband all the dang time. I don't care if he's Prince Charming; I'm going to want my own life outside of his and his family's. Sure, I'd want to be a part of my husband's family, but I don't expect them to treat me EXACTLY like a daughter--they're always going to love their son just a little bit more, and that's the way it SHOULD be. And besides, my brother Chris and my dad are men, and Chris grew up in our house...so how unusual is it that my dad would want to spend some quality QT with Chris without the wife? Beth could be the greatest person in the world (and don't doubt that I think highly of her and that her and Chris are a great couple and all that), but my dad is STILL going to pick Chris over her hands down--Chris is his son, always has been and always will be--his first son at that. How unreasonable is it for my dad to treat Beth as a daughter-IN-LAW and not a daughter...I mean, geez, he's got me, you know? And he DOES pretty much treat her like a daughter. He says "I love you" and wants to talk with her and tries to include both of them in all the bigger family events and all that.

Anyway, I just had to vent that. I love both of my brothers' wives, but sometimes their personalities so differ from mine, and even those of my brothers, that I have to wonder how those couples get along. But they do, and they love each other and that's what's important, even if they have some annoying personality traits. No one's perfect--as evidenced by someone like me. And I'm certain that whatever guy gets the lucky "privalege" of snagging me as a wife will undergo the same scrutiny by my brothers--I'm not sure that either of them have liked any guys I've dated yet, and maybe they never REALLY will until they HAVE to. But they're big brothers; that's what their for ;)

Breaking the Silence

Now that I'm back from spring break, I figure it's about dang time I blog. I was sick of looking at that one line entry with bad formatting. Time for something new! In my next post I'll talk about the trip, but right now I'd rather deal with more recent things. This weekend in GB was a lot of fun, except for yesterday.

Yesterday my dad went into the hospital with some chest pains, and turned out he had a minor heart attack. He also is turning up anemic in blood count tests, so they're checking to see if he's internally bleeding somewhere--not cool. What is also not cool is that the veins that have the blockage are REALLY small, spider web type veins outside the heart, so the doctors can't just go in and clear out the blockage like they could with bigger arteries. What that means is that this condition can't be cured, but he will have to take drugs and take on a healthier lifestyle to try to prevent further damage. To make it worse, my brother Scott had some chest pains as well, and so he was worried that he too had some heart condition. He went to the hospital where my dad is staying to have himself checked out, but turns out his heart is fine and healthy--which is very good news. He has an inflamed chest cavity I guess, caused by stress, that can be taken care of with some ibuprofen. Like my family needed any MORE problems...My dad is doing okay though, and my mom said he was in even better sorts and walking around and stuff today, so that's good. I'll be going home again this weekend, and I'm actually kind of glad. It'll be good to see my dad OUTSIDE of the hospital. And things should be more relaxing at home this weekend than last.

Last weekend was a lot of fun though; it was great being able to introduce Jenny to my family, Mike and Nate, and to the wonderful city that is GB. Jenny and I went out to Caffe Espresso--the best coffee house there is ;) (but maybe I'm biased...) on Friday night, and visited my mom a bit at the Holiday Inn where she was working. Saturday we got up "early" and got set to do some walking for my dad's campaign--a tradition I've been dealiing with since I was old enough to understand what it meant to walk door to door. We did that until the evening, then had some home cooking. Saturday night we went over to Mike and Nate's apartment and had them take us out to the bars downtown. It turned out to be a fun (and cheap) night (perhaps not so cheap for Mike and Nate, but oh well ;)

Yeah, I know I haven't written about it for a long time about guys, relationships, and stuff like that. I really wanted to get away from talking about the same old stuff over and over again. And don't worry, I really don't plan on getting into that much now and not much in the future. But I will clear a couple things up in case anyone's wondering how the heck the name "Mike" came up as someone I hung out at the bars with. Since he IMed me in January, breaking the long silence I had instituted, we've been talking. Very slowly and uncomfortably at first. It didn't take long for us to renew our friendship though. And then we got together to talk and have been really good friends since then, after getting some issues cleared away. So now we talk online, sometimes chat on the phone, and hang out a little if I'm in town. It's kind of weird cuz we're so friendly, kidding around and flirting. But it's like there's just this overall feeling that it's okay. We're just really comfortable around each other. I'm not sure if it means anything at all, but it's like that all the same, and I really wouldn't trade it. He may have his faults, and we may have had a really messed up past and probably a semi-messed up present, but he's still a good guy and a good friend. I'd like to think that our being able to be such close friends means something, but I don't know. We shall see. For now I'm just enjoying spending time talking and hanging out with him as a good friend. I'm sure some of my friends think I'm nuts for even talking to him, and maybe I am, but the point is, he makes me happy and I'd rather have him as a friend and part of my current life than as a bittersweet memory of my past. The future? that's another story...I hope it's a good one ;)

Spring Break Commences


IN CHICAGO!!!!!! :)

At the end of the day you're another day older...

The weekend wasn't too thrilling, but it was somewhat productive, and I got to hang out with my friend Heidi on Saturday and a little on Sunday evening which was nice. I even got some homework done, even if it was only maybe a half hour total work between Friday and Saturday, but that's a half hour more than I usually do on a weekend. The rest of my time was mostly spent behind my computer, whether it be playing BG2, talking online, or desperately hoping for certain websites to update so there's something else to do on my computer. How exciting, eh? I thought so...okay, no I didn't, but it wasn't that bad.

This week is flying by pretty fast. I can't believe Friday is the start of spring break--what an adventure! My only concern is monetary funds, which I think I'll have to ask my parents about. Well, that and whether Jenny will be able to stand hanging out with me every day for an entire week without causing me physical or mental harm. I'm hoping that our excursion to Lakeville and our many nights behind the computer and infront of the stove are experience enough to show that it CAN indeed be done. We shall see.

So...

I'm not sure what to write. Really nothing much is going on. Jenny is enjoying a fun skiing vacation and I'm here in EC. ::sniff, sniff, tear:: I miss her :( Eh, but it's not so bad. I haven't been here in EC for a regular relaxing weekend for a while; I've always had some sort of plans going on--a party here or other events going on in other various cities. It's actually kind of nice relaxing and getting some organizing, reading, errands, and slacking done. Yes, plenty of slacking involved in my weekend so far. I did manage to leave the apartment today--I even walked at a very brisk pace down the hill to do some errands, walked back up here and continued on to the Ramada to pick up my car and drive it back to campus. That's a good 40 min of walking--not so bad. Of course, I wasn't exactly ultra productive once I settled here in my room. Oh, I took out the trash, cleaned up my room a bit, orgainzed some photos, even read The Metamorphosis which was alright. But I spent more time chatting or playing games on the computer than doing anything that resembled work. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be more exciting. We shall see. I had intended on writing something profound, but nothing's coming to mind. ::sigh: Oh well, I can't be the font of knowledge every day ;)

Late night questions:

*Why is it that some of the best conversations happen at the most inopportune times?
*How can a person change so much in a few months' time?
*How is it that I can think I know a person for years and realize in a week that I really don't know the person at all?
*How can I love and let go at the same time?
*Is there a way to live in the past, present, and future without spontaneously combusting?
*What is true love? Can it exist in the real world?
*Can betrayed trust ever be regained?
*Will I always be a procrastinator?
*How many times can my heart withstand breaking before it stops healing itself?
*Why am I blogging instead of working on my unfinished take home test?

I just had to let some of that out. Nothing has really happened, I'm just contemplative about a lot of different things this evening, er, morning...I guess. Well, I better get to bed so I can work on my test in the morning since my head is so not into world literature tonight. These questions may not be answerable, but thinking about them is important anyway. One thing is for sure though, honesty really is a virtue. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It may not always be the easiest choice, but it's an important choice. Heck, it's one of the few virtues I've got going for me. It's the only part of being "pure" that really fits me (fyi, "Katie" comes from the Greek word for "pure"). ::sigh:: The rest of the virtues? Well, I'll work on them. ;)

Consider this a prelude to Katie's Random Advice Post KRAP

This has nothing to do with future KRAP posts, but the topic is random and it seems to impart some form of wisdom...somewhere.. No, don't ask me where. I said NO! Don't make me come over there...

Anyway, this is some advice I have on Procrastination:

The American Heritage Dictionary that I received from the principal as a 5th grader because some stupid kid put a wad of gum in my previous dictionary while it was sitting peacefully and unprovokingly in my desk...defines procrastination as the act of "putting off, especially habitually, doing something until a future time. It comes from the Latin word "procrastinare." If the dictionary based off the definition of procrastination based off of my life, it would simply state "the act of living, especially habbitually."

I have no idea when it started. Something must have clicked somewhere in grade school, between grades 1 and 3. By third grade, I was waiting until the last minute to study for tests, cramming the multiplication tables we had to memorize, and taking my sweet time getting ready for school so that I almost always had to rush on my bike. But those were small things, trivial things that I didn't do all the time. The first strong memory I have of a REAL act of procrastination is my 4th grade research report.

The 4th grade research report was a milestone. Never before had any of us poor, unsuspsecting students known what it was to...write an entire research report. Evidently, I still didn't know after the teacher explained it to us. I had the handouts, followed the instructions, and managed to pretty much bomb the paper. It was a tough blow, a B -. Why did I bomb the paper? Good question, I'm glad you brought that up. Each student was required to write a report on a country. A country!! Don't ask me how a 4th grade student was supposed to write a 3-4 page paper on an entire civilization, but we were. I had Mexico.

I don't remember why I had Mexico. I have a feeling I chose Mexico. Seemed like a good idea at the time--likely because I had actually seen a little of Mexico (a really not-so-nice border town, but to me it was enough..I was so prepared to write this 3-4 page paper summing up the nation). I was well armed with sources--several books about Mexico, and my trusty World Book Encylcopedias that I was dependent upon for any report from second grade on up (until I realized sometime in late middle school that those World Book authors from 1981 weren't really good at telling the future). And so I scanned my books, picking out any facts that were easily summarized and accessible, like facts out of an encyclopedia. Travel books were the best--they had neat lists of cities, museums, shopping centers, and other tourist attractions. Those lists were undoubtably MUCH easier to absorb and spit out into report form. I diligently worked...the night before. Considering my age and my parents, I doubt I was up until even 12am, but it certainly seemed late. I struggled to make my paper long enough, frustrated by the boring chapters describing various customs that were too time consuming to write about. With what I thought was a stroke of genius (she'll never know!), I resorted to listing various hotels, motels, and camping areas. It was a masterpiece.

You can imagine my surprise when I saw the B - penned on a piece of note paper, thoughtlessly stapped to my beautiful cover page, complete with a Washable Crayola Marker rendition of the Mexican flag and a sombrero, the title "MEXICO" neatly scrawled in black marker above the flag...and sombrero (which was kind of floating in the bottom right corner). I even borrowed a neat looking clear covered binder folder from my friend Angela, you know, to add that Professional spice. And I got a B -...I mean, if you wanted to know about Mexico, wouldn't you be concerned about what trailer parks you stow your RV in?


So, let this be a lesson to you all out there. Procrastination isn't a habit, it's a lifestyle. So if you have any children who are taking on procrastinator virtues, I suggest you...well, actually, I have no idea what you should do. You probably were procrastinators too when you were a child. Heck you're probably procrastinators too--so THAT'S where she gets it from! HA! Well!....oh, where was I, oh yes, what to do if your chilid is a procrastinator...eh, may as well just say screw it--there's no reforming him or her. May as well embraced it...and remember: At least the kid is DOING the work!

and that concludes this edition of...KRAP!

Today I had an orientation meeting for the London student teaching program. EXCITING! Except for the whole issue that no one seems to know exactly when we'll be leaving, where we're being housed and what school will be like there. But have no fear, invest $800 of the non-refundable fees (not including tuition and crap) and THEN we'll tell you. ::sigh:: At least I have a ROUGH idea of when I'm going--October 31-December 20, but of course, I'm going to tour for a while afterwards. I'm just wondering what the school system is like that I'll be teaching in. Is it really similar? or are the classes shorter, longer, every day or not? Things like that buzz around my mind. And then I'll have to eventually start thinking about lesson plans...it certainly will be interesting teaching English class to British students.

All this talk about the trip makes me want to leave RIGHT NOW!!!! This semester is so not very exciting. I mean, I'm having fun with friends and all, but the classes leave something to be desired and I'm actually sort of getting tired of the college scene.

oh, well it worked that time...nevermind ;)

um, well that sucks. I can't get to my site. I'm hoping this is a temporary glitch, so I'm going to try not to PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the delay on the KRAP. I assure you, it's coming along. Just give it some more time; a little more time is all it needs and then ::bam!:: KRAP will be here. Until them, amuse yourself with this:

one fun comic!
two fun comics! what fun!

I was introduced a year or so back to this site called Penny Arcade and even though I'm not quite sure what they're talking about half the time, I thoroughly enjoy what I DO know, and can pretty much wing what I don't know know. Either way, it's fun seeing such a unique and well done comic by a couple guys that remind me WAY too much of some other guys I know ;)

Not much else to say--I'm not really in the mood to blog much. My grandpa had open heart surgery today and seems to recovering alright from it. My backpack strap broke yesterday morning and I have yet to replace the backpack, which should make walking to class with 2 anthologies, 3 notebooks, and 3 folders tomorrow rather interesting. Other than that, nothing too new. Catch ya on the flip side!

What's going on in Katie's life lately? I know you're just dying to find out. So I'll tell you! Let's see:

V-ball tickets:I got one call back, which got my hopes up...until I realized that the stupid bastards want to scalp those tickets for all they're worth. How do I know that? Well, having them ask, "So how much are you offering to pay for them?" was a bit of a clue. I said, well, "face value 2 of them would be $50." They said, "Well, we bought 4 of them, with 2 extra so we could make a bit of a profit." I said, "Ah, I see. Well I can understand that, for going through the trouble and all. I might be willing to pay a bit more, though it isn't exactly kosher, for your trouble." (at this point I was already disgusted). So he said, "I'll have to check with my friend about it, since he helped pay for them, but I have your number, and I'll get back to you." There was more to the conversation, but whatever. I know I won't be hearing from them, the fuckers. I wish I could just catch them in their act....SCALPING IS ILLEGAL!!!! grrrr

New health kick: Let's just say it's a slow start. I went to hydroaerobics last week, but skipped it last night. I had cake and alcohol on Friday. I didn't do much of anything the rest of the weekend. And I've been still snacking a bit. HOWEVER, I plan on going for a walk or at least going down to the fitness room this evening. AND I have eaten a bit better--trying to have more healthy meals and drinking less soda. And tomorrow I'm going to hydro no matter what...no good quality conversations are going to keep me from trimming up MY ass.

Schoolwork: I feel incredibly lazy in this department, and it's not because I haven't been doing my work. It's more because there really isn't that much work to do yet. Granted, there's some out of class stuff I really should get on top of, like taking care of the 25 clock hours I need to put in working with people in minorities or with disabilities, but it's not due til the end of the semester. Otherwise, I kind of laugh hearing people in class talking about how much reading they HAVE to do...when really it's not that hard...especially compared to past semesters. But then again, I'm an English major--I like reading.

Job: Still haven't gotten a job. But I picked up an application for the Academic Skills Center as a tutor, so we'll see how that goes.

Love life: Same old same old. Been having some good discussions about the past, present and future, and I am trying to have a healthier outlook on the whole romantic part of my life. Like the health regiment, it's going slowly, but I'm at least trying to make some progress. Of course, in many ways I'm still hopelessly stuck, but then, a little dreaming doesn't hurt, as long as it doesn't prevent a person from living....or from driving her friends insane by persistently talking about this guy or that guy.

Future?: Eh, who knows? I think it's all a matter of perspective. Maybe I am rather past-oriented, and sometimes too dreamy...though I think that is a far better fault than consistenly living in the moment, with no regard for past mistakes, future aspirations...or consequences. As Dr. Hanson pointed out in World Lit II today, sometimes, it's those little things, those smallest decisions that are the crucial turningpoints of our lives. I'd like to think that a person can do a little of the steering on those turns herself, if she puts her mind and heart into it.

So now you know...and knowing is half the battle...and more than meets the eye! Of course, my twilight campaign, is easy to explain: there's no case to big, no case too small, and life is like a hurricane, by the power of Greyskull! ;)

V-ball tickets have arrived! Now, to find 2 more tickets....this ought to be interesting.

Tonight I broke down. For the last few weeks I have been hearing more and more about dieting, working out, cutting carbs...it's just ridiculous. It's as though everyone and their mother is trying to get fit this spring. My mom hasn't gone on a diet for years, and now she's breaking out her old Weight Watchers menus and joining her coworkers at Curves. Jenny W and Chris decided to follow his parents' lead and start the Atkins diet and now they've both lost 15 some pounds. Jenny A's mom started a diet and has lost about 30 lbs. Tricia is doing either skating, skiing, or climbing or some other activity almost every day of the week. Heidi started her own version of the Atkin's diet that she heard about from a friend, and though she hasn't gotten too far in it, she is also going to aerobics, so I'm expecting some results soon. Jenny A mentioned going on more walks. My roomie and her freinds are doing aerobics in the living room. I've hit the point where I give up.....I'll start getting healthier.

I've been meaning to for a while, and now it just seems inevitable that I either join the throng of newly inspired healthmongers or join the throng of the people overweight who gave up caring. Part of me really doesn't care if I'm a size 11/12 or 9/10. Another part of me REALLY wants to fit into my silky black pants to go clubbing. And then there's that part of me that has seen what I look like in a bikini mid January and shivers. It's time to gain a LITTLE control back and eat a little better and get my ass out from behind the computer.

I'm not into these specified diets or higly regimented fitness centers. I may not mind a little aerobics, but I much prefer Hydro-aerobics, where people don't have to see any part of me jiggle aside from my chest when it hits the water (sorry for that visual). And I do like going for walks and biking (though i'm not a big fan of indoor cycles, but I will choose those before any other bit of machinery or weightlifting apparatus). The thing is, I'm not a highly self-motivated person when it comes to fitness.

I do walk to classes, and almost always use the stairs, even though there is an elevator available. That's something at least. I'll typically join a person in some fitness activity if they ask me, but it seems I've gained a self-preservation tactic of surrounding myself with friends who also are not into fitness regimes. Not that my friends aren't healthy, and as I've said, some have recently become more health conscious. It's just like it's a sudden wave of fitness frenzy has overcome them, and though I have tried to stop this tsunami from overtaking me and any other good souls unafraid of being slightly to mildly overweight ("well-rounded" as I like to say), my defenses have fallen and the tidal wave rolls on, swiping even more victims to become...dare I say it....health conscious. Ugh, the words stick in my keyboard almost as much as they stick in my throat.

I think being healthy is a great thing, and I'm quite certain I can benefit from loosing about 15 lbs. Mostly, I just want to trim a little pudginess here and there. With Viennese Ball coming up in a couple months, I will have the pleasure of dressing to the nines. Currently, I have a few dresses in my possession that would pass off well as a "V-ball" ensemble, a couple in particular that I have never actually worn. I do have a stunning dress that fits me perfectly now, but after wearing it to my brother's wedding in Aruba and the reception in GB, I'm ready to move on to the next formal gown. Plus, it seems more like a true "ball" when a girl gets to wear a sincerely poofy dress. It's not obsessively poofy, but it clearly has elements of poofiness to it. AND, it's a very pretty red with little black glittery stars on it....and it's super soft to the touch (the stars are actually a faux velvety material that's super touchable ;) Sounds unique, and I tell you, the first time I saw it, I said it was "interesting" which can mean a number of things when I say it. I was very much amused by it and so I tried it on (especially since it was on clearance from $80 to $25). Unfortunately, the 9/10 ended up having a very unmendable rip in the back. HOWEVER, the 7/8 was in prime condition. This being the end of my freshman year of college I thought, hm....why not? So I tried it on, and sure enough, it fit like a glove.

Needless to say, a good couple years can do a world of difference, and it would be a might too snug in the tummy and chestal regions. That's why this health kick is especially appealing. Not to mention, it can't hurt to look absolutely stunning and fabulous and like an all around princess/sex goddess combo at a ball where who knows one could meet. And more importantly, I'll probably feel better this summer when I put my shorts and swimsuits on again.

So here's to a fresh beginning....let's hope this lasts more than a week. Envisioning my mother wearing pants sizes smaller than me certainly should help my motivation :P

Stay tuned....
for the much awaited....
....yet totally unknown to everyone but me....

Shocking as a 200,000 lightning bugs!
Titillating as a sports bra!
Insightful as a jar of eyes!

It's none other than:

First Official Katie's Random Advice Post (KRAP)

(coming soon to a website near you....like the one you are currently reading)

me: ever want to kick yourself ?
Jenny: of course
me: ever want to kick yourself, know you should kick yourself, watch as you don't kick yourself, and wonder why you haven't kicked yourself yet?

So Jenny, burned any plates lately?

Today I turn 22. According to Tricia, that means I am now, "older than dirt." I'm not sure if I'm liking that title, but I suppose it could be worse ;) At least there's snow out for my bday--I've always liked that, though I wish there was more. I'm not quite sure how to best celebrate this day. As it stands, I'm going out to dinner somewhere...probably with Jenny A and perhaps Mandy. After that, it's time to make my famous birthday cupcakes. Once the cupcakes have been baked and devoured, it's on down to Water St. for a night of birthday frolicking ;) I'm thinking...free hard cider at Brothers, some dancing at She-nan's, perhaps some darts at the Pio....all in all, a good night. So far today I've done pretty well--I was late to my first class, but that's cuz I spent the mornign getting spruced up so I looked spiffy on my bday (for some reason that was important to me) and listening to peppy fun music like The Vandals' song "Happy Birthday to Me". All in all, not too bad a day so far, though it really hasn't been overly exciting or eventful, but then, it truly is just another day for the HUGE majority of the world, so what should I expect? Anyways, I have to run off to class soon, so I had best head out. Later ;)

Someday my acoustic/electric guitar will come....It will be mine; oh yes, it will be mine. In the meantime, I have to be satisfied listening/watching other people ply their talents on various instruments. For instance, Monday night I went to see some Jazz at The Stone's Throw...which I would link to if they had a working website, but apparently it's being worked on. Anyway, that was really cool, and I'm thinking about going there most Monday nights to kick back, listen and do some writing. Aside from the smoke smell, it's actually a good environment for me to work in. I found myself wanting a pen and paper when I was there with Lars. Yeah, he's an interesting fellow. But I'm quite proud of myself for pushing it back and maintaining a platonic deal with him. I can be his friend, though I don't exactly go out of my way to call him, unless he has called and left a message. I just want to make sure I keep some distance, cuz 1) Mandy warned me he's not the greatest guy and 2) pot-smoking beatnik is not my style and 3) I'm not overly attracted to him. He's been a really nice guy to me and all--bought my drinks Monday night and drove me. However, I am quite certain that I would never date him and I want to make sure I don't lead him on then too. It IS nice to have a guy calling and around to hang out with, especially since I typically don't have many guy friends. I'm sure that sometimes the way I act does not assist in that department :P

Aside from all that, things are going alright. Concentrating on the school thing, keeping up with classes and still looking for a job. I actually have to run to a SWEA fundraising meeting right now, so I've gotta jet. Later! :)

Finally back to blogging, sorry about the delay. This last weekend was busy with going home and my bro Scott's wedding reception and all that jazz. The reception was pretty fun, with my three dates, my three women ;) hehehe, I took my friends Jenny, Jenni and Tricia as my guests, since I couldn't really think of a guy I wanted to drag there. We had a good time, doing a variety of things: dressing up, dancing, drinking, looking demure...(I was trying to think of another "d" word...close enough). It was basically like one big party that included a lot of family members, strangers and friends. There really wasn't much of the traditional stuff, since there was no wedding party, no bouquet, no garter (as far as I know), and no chicken dance. But, my brother Christopher and I both gave toasts to our brother Scott and his new wife Jennifer. I think I did a pretty good job--I was a bit more put together in my speech than Chris, but then, there's a reason why I'm an English major. I did feel bad though, since no one from Jennifer's side gave a toast to her. It seems like she really doesn't have any close female friends, and whatever male friends she had did not speak up, nor did any family members--I suppose she's kind of used to being on her own though as she is an only child.

Another interesting part of the evening was seeing a bunch of Chris and Scott's friends. Most of them I hadn't seen for at least a few years. One of them, John, who's wedding I attended a few years back with Mike (heck, Mike even danced with me--swing and mambo...if you can believe that!), was there with his wife. John came up to me, gave me a hug and complimented me and said I had to save him a dance. So later on, he came up and dragged me onto the dance floor. It was weird dancing with him, cuz he had this look like I knew that he thought I looked pretty good, and we always had this sort of strange picking on each other, slightly flirtatious friendship...so, I had this feeling like I had to keep my distance. Really not a big deal at all, I mean he's happily married and he's older than me, and it's not like anything ever would have happened or anything like that, but it was just weird seeing him see this older version of me. He even asked me, "Can I ask you something? When did you grow up?" That's kind of how I felt all night...like wow...I guess I really am an adult now.

This continued throughout the night when a couple of Scott's friends said hi and did a double take in recognizing me--it didn't help that I hadn't seen many of them for quite a while, and pretty much never on a formal occasion in which my hair was all done up and I was wearing a snazzy black dress with a big slit of the side and I had some makeup on and all that jazz. I found a little satisfaction in all that, even though they're all married--it's still nice to be recognized as a fairly good looking woman vs. an akward younger sister of a friend. One isn't married, and I don't think he's seeing anyone either, and I did have a crush on him when I was younger and used to see him more often cuz his parents are friends with my parents. Well, he (David) came with his parents to the wedding, so I talked with him a bit--he's Chris's age--and found out about where he's working and what he's doing in life. For most of the night, he stayed in the same place, with his parents or by himself, so that was kind of sad looking. I figured, I should dance with him at least once....it was weird thinking that I'm finally of the right age and in the right place to actually "make a move" and ask him to dance. Not that he's really a hottie or anything, and I really don't know him that well anymore--had not seen him for a few years--but it was just one of those opportunities I knew I should take.

However, I didn't get around to asking him...I just felt sort of embarrassed...plus there really weren't that many slow songs to be had. Anyway, eventually his mother came up to me and my friends and said that one of us should ask him to dance. I was not about to let this opportunity slip away (plus my friends are taken anyway) so I went up to him and said "Your mom told me not to take no for an answer" with a smirk on my face ;) Of course he could not refuse this offer, and we went out onto the dancefloor and danced for a short time. It was interesting to say the least. I mean, no big romantic sparks or anything like that, just interesting. I was going to be traditional and do the hand on shoulder, hand in hand thing, but he put his arms around my waist instead, so oh well. We talked while we danced, so it was a good way of getting to know him a bit better. And that was that. I wonder what he thought of the whole thing. I'm sure it must have been strange for him too, since I've been a kid to him for most of his life I think. He was always really quite nice to me though, and he even bought me a birthday present one year, which I still have. He's an artsy sort of guy, very unique. Perhaps he is the reason why I'm attracted to guys like that sometimes...I can think of one in particular who is quite similar to him in some regards...likes incense, rather skinny, tall, has unique decorations in his room, has some artistic talent, quiet sometimes, has that sort of pensive/thoughtful look....perhaps you can figure it out. Anyway, I knew David since I was born pretty much, so there's a definite possibility that there was some influence there.

Other than that, not much happened. I asked a random guy to dance after I introduced myself to him. His name is Craig and he's a pre-med student at UW-Milwaukee, a sophomore and friend to Jennifer. We danced for about 2.5 dances since they were the last dances of the evening and it was fun talking to him. But like the other dances, that was that, nothing real exciting, nothing came of it. The most fun I had was dancing with Jenny and Tricia--we really let loose sometimes...I love dancing at weddings when there's enough people on the dancefloor that you feel like you can do anything and you really just don't care. That's how I was even when there were just a few of us out there--I really didn't care what Jennifer's family thought or my family thought...I just tried to have a good time with my friends and enjoy seeing another brother happily married. There were a few brief moments of melancholy...after all, that's what weddings are about...someone has found happiness, and I was reminded of my loss. I was reminded of the last wedding I attended, when I met Scotty and when I was fresh from trying to get over my summer fling. And the big loss...I thought of the guy I thought for a long time that I was going to marry. That's the thing about weddings--they're a great time for the most part, but as happy as you are for the couple, if you don't have love...it's a sharp reminder of that fact.

However...then I kick my own ass and remind myself that I'm turning 22 on Thursday, so it's time to plan a party and have a good time and remmeber that I have a whole life in front of me, and that perhaps someday I will find love again, but until then, it's my job to make sure my life is fulfilling in and of itself. Which is why I'm making some grandiose plans for my future. This summer, I'm going to work hard to save up for my student teaching in London and the touring of Europe I plan to do right afterwards. I'm also going to finally buy a guitar and teach myself how to play it--which I should have time to do since my summer is going to be basically just working and not working. After I graduate and get back from Europe, I'm going to get a job--whether it be subbing or something to do with my writing, and I will save up money for my own place. That will be until that next fall, when I get my first real teaching job. I'll work somewhere for about a year or two, not sure where. I'm thinking perhaps Boston. Then I will get some $ gathered, and I will either remain in Boston if I really like it and try and get my masters degree while I'm there, perhaps even from Harvard. OR I might save up enough $ to move to England for a while, going to school there and working. I realize that would be expensive and I wouldn't save up much, but I really want to get my masters and perhaps my PhD from a really good school and studying English in England just seems like a good plan.

So those are my grandiose plans, which really, if I'm in the situation I'm in now, I do indeed plan on doing something like that. Life as it is now, would just be too boring if I got a job here in EC or in GB or wherever--I need to see things and do things. Perhaps that will change, bur right now, I know that would probably be the best idea for me. Anyway, so here's a massive blog to make up for the slacking off ;) Check ya later!