I can't fucking wait

Reason #567 that I'm glad I'll be moving out in August:

Helping out with projects and then getting blamed when something goes wrong. :P

Cliffhangers are so cruel

New episodes of Inuyasha started tonight and will be continuing every Sat. night. YAY!!!!! But you know, as excited as I am about that, having to wait an entire week for the next new episode pretty well blows. Granted, during the week are the slightly older episodes that I'm taping which might satiate me a little. Except, you know I won't stay satisfied for long ;)

Agh, my life's like a friggen cliffhanger right now. I just want to get on with it! But nooooo, I've got to wait, just like waiting for the next new season of my favorite series. ::sigh:: I suppose I should be thankful that there IS another season coming up--the season where I FINALLY move out of this house!!!! Cuz it would really suck if I were cancelled due to lack of interest....Alright, maybe that's taking the metaphor too far.

Ding Dong Ding Dong, Wedding Bells

Not mine, of course, but this weekend my cousin Nate got married and we all ventured to the celebration. At first I was a little hesitant, thinking it wuuld end up kinda lame with my mom's ultra silly family all there, and Chris being thrown into the throng of them. But, much to my enjoyment, it turned out to be a super fun time.

During the wedding, my immediate family sat together in the back of the church since little Matthew needed to be near the door in case he got whiney. It also meant that we could be as obnoxious to each other as we wanted without disturbing the ceremony, much. I tell you, if you ever feel bored at a church event, just bring my brother Scott along, and you'll be laughing your ass off...much to the disturbance of those next to you. It's like he's completely annoying and yet totally hilarious at the same time...except for when he stuck the wedding program in the back of my dress. Then I just wanted to kick his ass.

The reception was better than expected as well. Once we finally found the place, there was plenty of good food to eat and people to talk to. It would be have been nice if the dance had started a bit sooner after the dinner--I swear it took forever for them to set up. But we got a game of darts in--naturally, Chris kicked my ass at cricket. I knew when the dance started that there was a chance the songs might totally blow, but when it started out with "In the Mood," I had a feeling I might have a good time. And Chris was an awesome sport about dancing to anything from slow dances to "Love Shack" to the "Electric Slide"--even though he had to learn how to do it. I felt so happy; I've never been with someone who was so carefree and confident about putting himself out on the dancefloor. Such a welcome change. We had tons of fun being silly and sexy at the same time.

And it was so great to see how well he socialized with my family. It takes a kick-ass kind of guy with patience of steel to actually seem enthused about chatting with my mom's gabby sisters or with my dad after he's had a few beers. Hell, I wanted to try to escape from my parents and Scott made me promise to keep Dad from sitting next to him, but Chris, he took it head on and impressed all of us. Add some fun in the hotel with a swimming pool, hot tub, pizza, MXC, and a road trip with fun conversation and singing along with Death Cab for Cutie....I'm telling you, if I don't hold on to this guy, I'm going to seriously kick my own ass.

Do you want a friggen blood sample too?

I swear to an almighty piece of crap job application system....if I have to friggen fill out another friggen page...You see, I'm working on an application, one of many, for a school district near the Twin Cities. Every district has their own unique application, and as I'm finding, some are short and sweet with 2 pages...except they want a copy of every document I can muster, others are online and fairly simple, and this one I've just been working on...that one takes the cake. And I don't mean cuz it's "cake!" I mean it's the longest fucking application I've ever encountered. Hell, it's probably longer than the contract they'd make me sign.

It started out like any application: name, school history, references. But then, they throw in things like a survey on my training in several teaching aspects, job related experiences and interests, and a FRIGGEN ESSAY SECTION! What is this, a college application?! I thought having to write an Educational Philosophy statement was something I had to do (3 different times) to get INTO the School of Ed, not something I'd have to regurgitate 2 years later in the form of some bullshit screening process.

Granted, the essay section and the added questions and surveys will probably do me more good than harm, since I do lack in teaching experience. It'll be a place for my language skills to shine...or something. But dang it, how indepth does an application have to be? Isn't there such thing as an interview or portfolio later? Are they going to pry into my personal life next? I tell you, I just can't wait to turn to page 13 to find out. Page 13...and I haven't even put down my employment history! Fucking A!

I give up for the night. I thought I could finish it, but man, for some small city, they're sure big on paper work. Looks like I'll be working on that one tomorrow too. I'd probably be better off moving on to another district--heck, I could probably finish two of them in the time it'll take to finish the second half of this one. Anyone else encounter stupid fucking applications like that? Applying for jobs is such an assholic bitch. Or a bitchy asshole. Take your pick :P

I got off on good behavior

Is it just me, or does that sound wrong? Anyway, I'm out of work early today, not actually because they like me, but because they ran out of work for me to do. So, I was out after first break, which means I lucked out in getting some extra time to get ready for the weekend. For instance, I've got a cake baking right now, the frosting is completely set to go, I can have lunch with my mom, and pick up a few things I forgot to pack, all before my doctor appointment at 1:30 today. Yay for temporary employment! Granted, I could use the $10/h, but I say, who the fuck cares? Yeah, that's what I'll tell the credit card company :P

Maybe I'll even have an hour to check out a couple stores in the mall on the way to the clinic. I'm sorely in need of GZ appropriate clothing, especially a skirt. Who knows, perhaps I'll luck out and find something perfect for tonight. If not, at least I'll have tried, instead of always relying on my pathetic supply of mix and match clothing I've picked up here and there. I'll come up with something I'm sure, but I'd rather not have to wear pants if I can help it. Somehow, I just don't feel as sexy in a pair of even silky pants, not nearly as much as I would in a swanky little skirt and thigh highs. ;)

Aight, time to get into gear. Lots to do and not that much time to do it in. Later yo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!!! :)

(Please, Excuse the mushy address here) Hope you have a fan-skippin-tastic birthday, my love! Can't wait to see you this weekend. GZ, cake, friends...it's gonna rock. Talk to you later! :)

Thank God that's over!

The suspence that is. Tonight was my brother Chris's 30th bday party, a good time all around. That's not how I thought it was going to go last night, however. I was afraid it was going to turn into an all out bitch fest between Beth and my dad.

Yesterday, Beth informed me that she was down right pissed off that my dad was so impatient and inconsiderate. She had helped out the campaign at the house during the day, which was nice of her to do. After she got back home, she later called to ask about the folding table and chairs that we said we would bring over to the house for the party today. I was on the phone with her talking about this, and mentioned Chris coming over to pick up the stuff. But my dad was still thinking he'd have to help out, getting something down from the attic, even though he wanted to finish up some campaigning shit (when he really should have called it quits for the day). So he yelled.

Anyone who's met my dad knows how friggen loud he can be. And he was loud enough to be heard over the phone. Beth got upset that he would make such a fuss after she went out of her way to help him with the campaign. So she hung up and said she didn't need his help. I yelled at dad for yelling while I was on the phone and getting involved and messing up something I didn't need his help with to begin with. Of course, then he got mad at me for that. He left the house.

Meanwhile, I call Beth back to talk her down and make sure they have the stuff they need for the party. I talk to Chris, but he opts to hand off the phone to Beth. Great. Beth gets on and she's upset, all crying and shit. She not only is upset about the table thing, but about feeling slighted by not being mentioned on the back of my dad's campaign lit. Not only that, she's upset because she feels there is a history of being slighted, especially now that the baby is around and my parents are all just paying attention to him. First it was Chris getting the attention, now it's little Matthew. UGH.

And I had to listen to it all, and be supportive, when I was just like DEAL WITH IT!!!! My parents aren't perfect, far from it. Especially my dad, who can be a total asshole sometimes. But we all know that. Beth knew that getting into this family. It doesn't mean she has to take his shit; it just means she's gotta either put up or shut up about it. I do it all the dang time. Sometimes I talk back (rationally of course), sometimes I stay quiet, sometimes I just vent about it later. I don't let it fester inside me though, nor do I take it as a personal afront. So he's an asshole. Everyone's an asshole sometimes. Even I am, I'm certain. (alright, no comments on that one please). I can still love and care about someone even if I think he's an asshole from time to time. That's just the way love, family, and friends go.

Anyway, I mentioned the conversation with both of my parents--my dad last night and my mom this morning. My dad got all on the defensive and offensive, saying he's not going to change just cuz she's oversensitive. I agree that she is rather sensitive, but that doesn't mean he doesn't do and say things that are offensive, and that he should try and be more careful about it. He wasn't too pleased about a lecture from me, but he did behave himself today. ::whew:: My mom was much more calm about it, and did think that Beth had some points, though she of course denied that she had much part in it, and did say she was a bit too sensitive. Mom's much easier to talk about that stuff though, cuz she actually considers my advice, and talks with me about it rationally. I think I reached her just fine, and she'll be more careful about it too. ::double whew::

I know this isn't the end of it. IT NEVER IS. IT WILL NEVER END. But whatever. You know, not everyone likes their inlaws. In fact, most don't, I'll bet. I'd say most just stand them for the sake of their spouse. You have to love your parents, and I suppose to an effect you have to at least act like you love your inlaws. But you don't have to be with the more than you want. There's a reason Chris and Beth live in GB, and not in Milwaukee where her parents live. I mean geez, if she wants to avoid her own parents, finding them a pain in the ass, then how can she complain about her inlaws? Why'd they move closer to them? Very interesting...Maybe, just MAYBE, someone's overreacting. Just a suggestion.

God knows I'm out of here as soon as I can.

Want to hear something funny?

I've solved the mystery of my missing blog entry that I SWORE I had posted and published. As it turns out, I did indeed post and publish it with no problem at all. So why doesn't it show up? Answer: I posted it on the wrong blog. Somehow, I managed to click on the button for my OLD blog that was abandonded a year and a half ago. It's been so long since I looked at it that I forgot I still can post entries on it.

The bad news is, the entry kind of blows so I'm not going to bother copying, pasting, and posting it on here. It'll just have to be a mystery for you now. Just deal with it :P

Oh that's cheap

I had a blog all set to go and I swear I hit the "post & publish" button; however, there's no blog posting to be found anywhere. Not that it was anything special, but still, what a pain in the ass.

Anyway, here's the latest news bulletin:

*My sister-in-law Jennifer just got an apprenticeship with the hair stylist with whom she really wanted to get the position. She'll get paid minimum wage plus half of her tips, but the products are free and she'll be working towards her own licensure.

*Last night I babysat my adorable nephew over at Chris and Beth's house for a few hours. The kid kicks ass, but I can safely say I'm not anxious to take him home with me.

*My brother Scott asked for a promotion today, and no word yet on whether he got it or not. He thinks he probably won't since he's so young, but it was worth a shot.

*For the last week, I've been taking my dogs for a walk everday after work. It's not much, but it's a definite start to a healthier lifestyle for the mutts and me.

*Saturday I have the pleasure of partaking in a campaign literature drop for my dad--any volunteers? C'mon, there's free food!

*Tonight I get a haircut--just a trim this time. I'm a fan of my lastest punky hair look.

*On Tuesday I watched the last episode in the series of Robin: Witch Hunter. ::sniff sniff tear:: :(

*Also on Tuesday, I went out for chimichangas and martinis (a change of establishment inbetween there) with Amy, Shelly and Jennifer. It was an interesting combination of folks, and the first time I actually hung out with Jennifer without Scott being around (aside from everyday at work). I certainly had a good time, and I think the others did too. Mmmmm a Tiramisu flavored martini. Yum.

*I'm still job searching and working on appplications and resumes. God I'm slow. I better get a good job or I'll kick my own ass this fall.

That's all for now. Yeah, I know I'm not too interesting lately. But hey, next week will be all busy with my brother Chris's 30th bday party, his bday, and then my boyfriend Chris's bday and subsequent party that weekend. Not to mention, a fabulous visit to the dentist...great :P

Would you recognize me?

Today I had the pleasure of not being recognized by a couple former classmates of mine. Yay for new haircuts and a good make up day! They weren't people who were snotty or overly self-important; just a couple girls I used to know. It makes me wonder what it'd be like to run into some other people from my NDA days. Eh, the only ones I'd want to see are the ones I still keep in contact with. The rest just aren't worth my time. Although, it'd be nice to find out whatever happened to my frosh year (okay all four years) crush. My guess is that he's either an important part of a successful business, or he's passed out on his fraternity floor.

Halleluja! Halleluja! Halleluja, Halleluja, Halleeeeluja!

Praise be to whatever higher being/existence that we may or may not believe in! For I have actually accomplished something! What is it you ask? All in good time, my friends.

You see, I think I've reached the breaking point. I am at the point where I would do anything, even the unthinkable, to avoid the extremely time-consuming, annoying, and completely pivotal task of applying for fall teaching jobs. Don't get me wrong; I WANT a job, I NEED a job, and I want to know that I HAVE a job as soon as possible. However, it's taking all the motivation I don't have to go about the business of searching and applying. I mean, geez, remember my edition of KRAP devoted to a dissertation on procrastination? Even THAT writing was just to avoid school work. So you see, I will find just about any activity to take the place of job searching. Today it was finally taking our obese (well one is for sure) dogs for a walk. Tomorrow, who knows.

Take these fine examples of my latest procrastination (in order of least to greatest desperation):
*Baldur's Gate II for PS2--Not only did I spend countless hours (okay, 17:36) playing the game; I beat the game and started over again to try and kick more ass in EXTREME MODE.

*Family QT--Lately I've been hanging out with my family a lot more frequently. Whether it be going out to the bars, playing/swearing at Mario Kart, or watching a movie together, it's brought us closer together.

*Anime--I started out just watching and taping Inuyasha, but now I'm totally hooked on Robin: Witch Hunter as well, not to mention I typically tune in to Family Guy and Futurama too since they come on right before the others. I'm such a dork sometimes. (Don't even think about commenting on that one :P )

*Cleaning my room--When on earth did I convert from a staunch believer in cleaning only in life or death situations to someone who actually enjoys organizing her crap?

*Campaigning--I have no idea what could compel me to volunteer so much time helping my dad with his local political campaign. It's either the father-daughter bond ::cough:: guilt trip ::cough:: or I like the exercise...( I think we all know the answer to that one).

Perhaps now that I've blogged about it, I've gotten it all out of my system, and I can start working in ernest on my job applications. Oh crap...but wasn't blogging just another medium for procrastination. Shit.

P.S. Did you notice that I survived the Ides of March without regression this year? Yay for me!

I don't wanna be told to grow up

Apparently I'm like a kid again. Not that I claim to have matured much since then, but what I mean is, my brother Scott and his wife Jennifer sometimes seem to be like my adopted parents. Or at least Jennifer mentioned that having me around is kinda like having a kid. I wasn't quite sure how to take that comment, but I took it in stride, figuring there was no harm meant be it.

You see, Scott has been looking out for me for quite a long time, even more so in the last few years. He looks at my life and sees what I've done or not done with my young years and tries to help me do more. Let me give an example: a few years ago, Scott and Jennifer went on vacation to Orlando, Florida and invited me and my boyfriend at the time ::cough::dumbass Mike::cough:: to go along with them. I wasn't sure, since it would mean taking a week off of work, but they bought me a ticket anyway. It turned out that Mike was an idiot and thought that working for a week would be a better idea, (even though I offered to even pay for half his ticket, which wasn't even that expensive) and he wasn't willing to even think of another possibility. I'm still a little disappointed in not going and wasting that plane ticket. What a dork.

Anyways, as I was saying, so Scott tends to try to make sure I enjoy the adventures in life, like when he gave me money towards my time in Aruba and in London. And now that I'm here in town, he does little things for me to include me in activities. When he goes out on the weekend with Jennifer, there are times he invites me along, or even tonight, I went over and played video games with them. They've got me so spoiled that, like Jennifer said, it's like I'm their adopted kid. Though I'd rather think of myself as a kid sister. "Kid Sister (Kid Sister), Kid Sister (Kid Sister)...Kid Sister and me!"

Eh, just wait until they actually DO have kids. Those are going to be some spoiled but good little tykes, I tell you that. Who knows when that will be, though they are talking about it for possibly after they buy a house this summer. The world is turning and turning.

My oldest brother Christopher turns 30 this April, and coincidently, my boyfriend Chris turns 23 the day after. And me, I'm still searching for jobs in MN so I can get my ass over there as soon as possible. I wish I had more money saved up to start with, but I guess thankfully, after this Friday, I'll be able to pay off the last of my credit card bills from my European travels and such. Then I'll be at zero and ready to work up from there. Anything from that moment on will be my savings for the summer and fall. I just have to work enough and make enough to be able to get the things I want and need. But hey, I'll sacrifice a new laptop if it means getting out there sooner. May not sound like much, but it's been something I've been wanting for quite a long time. Let's just say there's a little something else I want just a bit more :)

So there's an update for you. Disjointed and not particularly well-written;however, at this point, I'm just amused that I finally got around to blogging again. There's just so many other things to do at home. ... Woah, did I just say that? Hm...maybe it IS a good thing I've got a physical coming up next month--there's gotta be something wrong with me. Seriously though, with family, an occasional friend, work, video games, internet, and the endless process of upkeeping my room and house...blogging just isn't hitting to top of my things to do. It also doesn't help that, well, I've just been doing a lot of trivial things, nothing to really "write home about." I get up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, find something to do for the evening, watch amime from 11-12, and go to bed. Exciting, hm? Yeah, exactly.

But hey, I've been tooling around with the idea of (oh stop that--you know what I mean) bring back to life a new and improved brand-spanking-new edition of KRAP. That whet your appettite? (oh come on--geez) Personally, I think it sounds like a plan.

I get so lonely baby, I get so lonely...

Alright, so I suck. I haven't updated in about two weeks, and I don't have an excuse that is in anyway valid or interesting. I've just been working, hanging with friends or family, watching my regular shows on TV, or doing some more organizing of my schtuff. You'd think that since I was working on fixing up my blog that I would have been more attentative to it...but well, no. Anyways, I'm here now, even if I don't have a whole lot to say.

Last weekend I was in MN visiting Chris, Tricia, and Jenny, and a good time was had by all :) I love going to the Cities and having fun with everyone, but every time I leave, I have this overwhelming sense of...the overwhelming difficulty of trying to move out there. I have this urgent want and need to be there this summer, as soon as possible. But it's going to be a challenge trying to find a good teaching job in the area this fall, quickly locating a decent summer job there that pays enough for me to move to MN and quit my job here in GB, AND figuring out what kind of an apartment I'll be able to get once I'm there. Unfortunately, my hoped for roomie has aspirations for England once again. Totally awesome opportunity for her and I think it's friggen great that she'd be able to do that. Just sad that we'll have to postpone the creation of our kick-ass pad complete with all of those snazzy decorating ideas.

I think I might actually have more stuff to say next time I blog. I promise I'll work harder, REALLY. But for now, time for bed. Later dudes :)

Okay, I give up

I've tried and tried and tried to get a blog that is hosted by Tripod, still using Blogger as a publisher. But apparently this time the tried and true "Guess, Test, and Revise" technique just isn't going to cut it. I guess I'll just have to wait until I either learn more about web publishing, or find someone else to help me that does. ::sigh:: Oh well. At least I can change the colors and links on THIS blog.

Lo siento, mis amigos

Hey dudes, sorry I've been MIA for so long. I've been busy doing highly important things like watching TV, hanging out with friends and family, and procrastinating in any way possible to avoid cleaning my room--in fact, that's why I'm blogging right now. Anyway, I love my blog, but it's REALLY in need of major revamping. I'm not quite sure how much it's going to involve yet, but I'm thinking a total reformatting is in order. I'll see if I can keep this same site and everything, but it might be easier to start a new one, as sad as that would be. We shall see in time. That time hopefully being in the next few days. I'll keep ya posted ;)

Sexy At Any Size

Isn't it nice to know that Fredericks of Hollywood supports men and women of all shapes and sizes? I know I'm assured by their catchy little slogan. And for all of those who might disagree, shame on you. I mean, geez, it's just a coincidence that everyone in the catalogue is thin, ripped, stacked and well-packaged.

I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me...what went wrong?

Tonight I received an email that shocked me. It was from one of my former students, telling me that she tried committing suicide. Her reason? Because she it's almost Valentine's Day and no boys like her. And a boy that she does like just ignores her. AGGH!!

What do you say to something like that? I tried as best I could to write something inspiring for her. How do you tell a 14-year-old that she's not alone in the world? That there's much more to life than boys? That romantic love isn't the most urgent and important thing?

She's a unique and sensitive girl, and her difficulties getting along with others socially doesn't help matters. But God, how do you tell a girl that all of the hurt and pain of being a teenager will pass? How can you tell her that you understand what she is going through? That you've felt those feelings but worked through it and moved on?

I remember those days in middle school, when I had crush after crush on impossible guys who couldn't have cared less. The other girls (aside from a couple close friends) would make matters worse by picking at my faults and insecurities. It's a terrible age. My body was developing, yet it was years before I was really comfortable with my form. And there's so much pressure SO MUCH PRESSURE to be attractive, have a boyfriend, and be a part of the crowd. Those pressures have probably even grown since then, now that young people are being introduced into sexuality sooner and sooner.

But we can't blame society, we can't blame THEM. It just doesn't do any good that way. We've got to work with what we have, help the kids that need our help. Get them involved, get them understanding their potential, get them making goals in working towards those dreams they fear are unattainable. And remind them that family, friends, counselors, and teachers...they all care; they all want to help.

UGH, but does all of that sound like bullshit to a 14-year-old? Can one email from one older friend make any difference at all--make her feel even a tiny bit better? I hope so.

So don't expect to see me sleeping in my bed...

Because I'm up doing some much needed organizing in my room. I simply can't stand it any more. I'm going to clean this dang thing even if it means staying home all dang weekend. ::sigh:: And it will probably take all weekend. But I've got to start somewhere, right?

Where does this sudden burst of cleaning enthusiasm come from? 1) There's nothing worthwhile to watch on TV. 2) I'm kind of tired of my DVDs and VHS tapes right now. 3) My parents are boring and went to bed early. 4) I did'nt feel like getting out of my work clothes today to go out with Shelly or play video games over at my brother's place (he just bought BG2 for Xbox). And 5) My room is so annoyingly messy that I don't enjoy spending time in it. That was the main reason.

I mean, how am I supposed to have the ambition to sit and do some writing, blogging, or scrapbooking down here if I can't stand spending more time down here than my nocturnal activities require? It's like when I lived in EC--I just couldn't get myself to sit down and do homework if there was straightening to be done in my room. Strange, hm? Who'd have thought that I of all people could get annoyed by a messy room? My mother certainly has a hard time believing it. Hey, it's gotta get messy before it gets clean. That's just the way it is. Take my word for it.

Como se dice "I forgot how to speak Spanish coherently?"

As some of you know, I took 4 years of Spanish classes in high school (ncluding 2 years of "Honors Spanish"), earned a membership into the Spanish National Honors Society, AND took 1 year of university level Spanish classes. Well, let me tell you...that just really didn't mean jack when I was trying to actually hold a conversation with fluent Spanish-speakers.

Yeah, I was warned by my high school Spanish teacher that if you don't regularly speak the second language, you'll lose the most of it within the first year. After that, it's a slow decline. And now that it's almost 4 years since my last Spanish class, I struggle even with the most basic of nouns, verbs and conjugations. For instance, today I when asked if I was married I answered that I was only a little tired. Hey, it doesn't help that loud machines are running in the background.

But it's cool cuz some of the workers are making an effort to talk with me, showing great patience with my horrible Spanish. There are a couple workers that actually speak fluent English and they talked with me a little too. If the conversations keep going, maybe I'll actually regain some of my lost language skills. If anything, it made stuffing boxes a little more bareable AND after only 3 hours of brain-wracking, I remembered how to say "to sing."