It's 2016. My worries in 2009 seem quite distant now...just as distant as unimportant.
What do I have to worry about now?
1. my daughter, MC, now 15 months old
2. debt, so much debt....with no relief in sight
3. job security, as hard as I work, it still isn't enough to make me feel on the ball
4. house projects left undone *see debt, job, and child
5. trouble-making, adorable dog
6. trying to balance motherhood, job, wifeness, and having any kind of hobby or life of my own
7. oh yeah, health...remember when I had a gym membership?
Why I decided to resurrect this blog, I don't know. There are plenty of better, less public methods of dealing with my stress or expressing my personal self. But somehow this just felt like a good option. We'll see if it lays dormant another seven years (and two defunct email addresses later) or if I actually blog again soon.
Happy thoughts to end:
*all the baby giggles, smiles, triumphs...
most recently, trying to sit on the edge of a box and tipping backwards into the box
walking outside down the sidewalk for the first time, stomping feet in delight of how the shoes thump
snuggling in close to my chest in the middle of a sleepless night
Goodnight for now. And good hopeful thoughts for tomorrow.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Friday, May 29, 2009
Cultural Experience
Two new things this week:
#1: On Wednesday, I wore a "bati"--simple cotton Somali dress with a scarf tied around it and wrapped a scarf around my head. It wasn't exactly a Somali look, but still African...despite my pale, pale skin. It was fun, and the kids appreciated it since it was one of their parents that bought me the bati. And they had fun seeing me all dressed up--I got tons of compliments, though I'm sure I didn't look that spectacular. They were just tickled that I actually tried it out.
#2: Today I got a special treat from a few of my graduating senior girls. After school they took me to the Somlali mall. That was quite the experience. I had no idea that mall was hidden behind some of the main shops in Uptown. In the mall there were many little shops selling TONS of skirts, dresses, scarves, food, perfume, shoes, and whatever else you might want to find. First the girls wanted me to pick out a skirt--they wanted to buy one for me, but weren't sure of size and style. We did find one eventually, and it's unique and very pretty. I'll be happy to wear it--probably next week.
In the middle of our skirt shopping, they took me into one of the shops to have henna put on my hands and feet. That was just awesome. I can't say it was the most hygenic operation they had going in the shop, but it was super cheap and they did a great job. I have little vines and flowers and leaves all over the front and back of my hands and wrists, and even more of them on the tops of me feet and up past my ankle. The stuff will probably wear of the palms fairly quickly, but I'm hoping the rest lasts a couple weeks. The only downfall is that I have to try not to wash too much. But don't worry, I won't let it stop me from essential hand washing and showers...I don't think that would make a good impression, even with pretty hands and feet.
The girls were so sweet. They not only bought the skirt, but they paid for my henna, AND got me a treat from one of the shops to eat after the henna dried on my hands. That was some GOOD sambusa. The henna, cheap skirts, and good food really make me want to go back there, even though I certainly stood out like a sore thumb. I was the only white person in sight, and one of only a handful of nonSomali patrons. I was surrounded by the language and sights of the culture (like I am most of the day anyway), which made me really wish I would take the time to learn to speak Somali. If I'm going to stay at least a couple more years at the same school, it's probably worth investing the time and effort to learn it. Besides, it would be cool to be able to speak another language, and the pronunciations aren't that hard. We'll see.
Other news?
Graduation is this Sunday, so I've been spending all that "extra time" I have as a teacher getting things prepared for that again. I'll be MCing again, which is fine. Maybe next year someone else will volunteer. But I'm happy to do it since I really will miss this class. It's a small group, but they're hard working and have great positive attitudes. We'll see how next year's group does.
The school year ends in a week, then I have to get grades together and clean out my room, since I'll have to move everything out for the renovations they're doing this summer. I'll have to teach my summer school class over on the elementary school side, which should be interesting. That same day I start teaching summer school (part time thankfully) will be my first day of class for my first grad school class. Sometime in the next two weeks I have to get to St. Thomas and get my student ID card and books. I'm hoping to bike to and from work and class as often as possible. It'll be dark on the way home from class, but Chris said he might meet me sometimes part way, which would be sweet.
Last weekend we helped my parents build a shed in the backyard. That was the most I've been outside all spring. Building it was a pain in the ass, but also a lot of fun, since it was like a puzzle we all had to use our brains and brawn to put together. There were tricky parts, so I'm glad we were there to help. There's no way my parents could have done it by themselves without a serious mental breakdown.
I'm excited for the summer since Scott and Jennifer will be in Green Bay for a while. It'll be nice seeing them without having to drive to Texas in the summer heat. We'll save that for fall or winter.
Overall, I just can't wait for the school year to end. I love my job, but I need a BREAK. Even just cutting back to part time will help immensely. Even with taking a class, I can't imagine it being more hectic than what I've done all year. Then I can go biking, head to the lakes, hang out with friends and husband, and, most importantly, play video games! ;)
Two new things this week:
#1: On Wednesday, I wore a "bati"--simple cotton Somali dress with a scarf tied around it and wrapped a scarf around my head. It wasn't exactly a Somali look, but still African...despite my pale, pale skin. It was fun, and the kids appreciated it since it was one of their parents that bought me the bati. And they had fun seeing me all dressed up--I got tons of compliments, though I'm sure I didn't look that spectacular. They were just tickled that I actually tried it out.
#2: Today I got a special treat from a few of my graduating senior girls. After school they took me to the Somlali mall. That was quite the experience. I had no idea that mall was hidden behind some of the main shops in Uptown. In the mall there were many little shops selling TONS of skirts, dresses, scarves, food, perfume, shoes, and whatever else you might want to find. First the girls wanted me to pick out a skirt--they wanted to buy one for me, but weren't sure of size and style. We did find one eventually, and it's unique and very pretty. I'll be happy to wear it--probably next week.
In the middle of our skirt shopping, they took me into one of the shops to have henna put on my hands and feet. That was just awesome. I can't say it was the most hygenic operation they had going in the shop, but it was super cheap and they did a great job. I have little vines and flowers and leaves all over the front and back of my hands and wrists, and even more of them on the tops of me feet and up past my ankle. The stuff will probably wear of the palms fairly quickly, but I'm hoping the rest lasts a couple weeks. The only downfall is that I have to try not to wash too much. But don't worry, I won't let it stop me from essential hand washing and showers...I don't think that would make a good impression, even with pretty hands and feet.
The girls were so sweet. They not only bought the skirt, but they paid for my henna, AND got me a treat from one of the shops to eat after the henna dried on my hands. That was some GOOD sambusa. The henna, cheap skirts, and good food really make me want to go back there, even though I certainly stood out like a sore thumb. I was the only white person in sight, and one of only a handful of nonSomali patrons. I was surrounded by the language and sights of the culture (like I am most of the day anyway), which made me really wish I would take the time to learn to speak Somali. If I'm going to stay at least a couple more years at the same school, it's probably worth investing the time and effort to learn it. Besides, it would be cool to be able to speak another language, and the pronunciations aren't that hard. We'll see.
Other news?
Graduation is this Sunday, so I've been spending all that "extra time" I have as a teacher getting things prepared for that again. I'll be MCing again, which is fine. Maybe next year someone else will volunteer. But I'm happy to do it since I really will miss this class. It's a small group, but they're hard working and have great positive attitudes. We'll see how next year's group does.
The school year ends in a week, then I have to get grades together and clean out my room, since I'll have to move everything out for the renovations they're doing this summer. I'll have to teach my summer school class over on the elementary school side, which should be interesting. That same day I start teaching summer school (part time thankfully) will be my first day of class for my first grad school class. Sometime in the next two weeks I have to get to St. Thomas and get my student ID card and books. I'm hoping to bike to and from work and class as often as possible. It'll be dark on the way home from class, but Chris said he might meet me sometimes part way, which would be sweet.
Last weekend we helped my parents build a shed in the backyard. That was the most I've been outside all spring. Building it was a pain in the ass, but also a lot of fun, since it was like a puzzle we all had to use our brains and brawn to put together. There were tricky parts, so I'm glad we were there to help. There's no way my parents could have done it by themselves without a serious mental breakdown.
I'm excited for the summer since Scott and Jennifer will be in Green Bay for a while. It'll be nice seeing them without having to drive to Texas in the summer heat. We'll save that for fall or winter.
Overall, I just can't wait for the school year to end. I love my job, but I need a BREAK. Even just cutting back to part time will help immensely. Even with taking a class, I can't imagine it being more hectic than what I've done all year. Then I can go biking, head to the lakes, hang out with friends and husband, and, most importantly, play video games! ;)
Thursday, May 07, 2009
"...the General so likes your music that he desires you, for love's sake, to make no more noise with it."
All of a sudden it's a week into May, and I've got a shitload to do. I knew things were coming up soon, but being sick this week has pressed the "fastplay" button. Right now it's x2. Next week it'll be x4. And the week after will be x8. I just found out today that finals for the seniors are a week earlier than I thought. That means I have to finish Othello by the end of next week so that they have time to write a paper about it. They haven't written an essay for a while, and I feel like they need a culminating project for this. I'm thinking something revolving around characters and quotes. Dang, and they need a quiz too, so they have something for this quarter.
It also means that my other class with seniors in it must finish Night by the middle of next week so that they can watch the end of the Holocaust video I've been showing them and so that they too can write an essay about it all. And they'll have a quiz??? Too many things too soon. This end of the year has just swept up too soon. I swear they're having the kids finish a few days early for some reason this year. And everything has taken longer than it was supposed to. Damnit. I'm just too damn thorough. When I teach a book, they f-ing know the book.
I guess I'll have to plan better for next year. It WAS my first time teaching both of the texts. And we WILL finish it on time...it's just the project that's getting a last minute deal. Which means a lot of grading too... The other classes are just fine--they just finished reading a drama, which we've done all sorts of fun stuff with. And then they too will write an essay. Dang it. I didn't mean to leave all the essays for last, but seriously, they haven't written one for months, and they are in dire need of a refresher course in that before they head off for the summer. We've done fun little group and individual activities and presentations and things. But I want them to be able to show they can write a decent essay after all is said and done.
I know, I know, the traditionally taught teacher rears her head. If I had fit in the essays earlier, I would have ended with my interesting projects, like I did with the 9th grade. They wrote plenty of essays (since they were a grammar and writing class). And now they're able to sit back after the MCA and get into literature and more interesting writing assignments.
The books and essays were supposed to be staggered a bit more, giving me more time to get the different essays for different classes graded. That's my own dang fault for not sticking to my calendar.
Okay, enough school venting.
In other news? I...
*registered for my summer and fall courses for grad school: Native American Literature and Literary Criticism. I can do that.
*rode my bike...once.
*haven't been going to the gym enough.
*have been doing an okay job of staying on track with my physical therapy knee exercises.
*was sick Sunday-Wednesday so I took 1.5 days off, and am still sick now, and probably still will be tomorrow.
*haven't cooked anything interesting for two weeks.
*saw Wolverine and was not impressed. I wanted to see Gambit! Not some dude who sort of acted like Gambit with no charisma, accent, or character.
*am going to see Star Trek tomorrow, and I'm going to like it. Yes, I will.
*saw Flight of the Conchords perform with Eugene Mirman opening with his comedy act. It was sweet. Even with the fire alarm going off for the first 20 minutes. boowoooop! boowoooop! boowoooop!
All of a sudden it's a week into May, and I've got a shitload to do. I knew things were coming up soon, but being sick this week has pressed the "fastplay" button. Right now it's x2. Next week it'll be x4. And the week after will be x8. I just found out today that finals for the seniors are a week earlier than I thought. That means I have to finish Othello by the end of next week so that they have time to write a paper about it. They haven't written an essay for a while, and I feel like they need a culminating project for this. I'm thinking something revolving around characters and quotes. Dang, and they need a quiz too, so they have something for this quarter.
It also means that my other class with seniors in it must finish Night by the middle of next week so that they can watch the end of the Holocaust video I've been showing them and so that they too can write an essay about it all. And they'll have a quiz??? Too many things too soon. This end of the year has just swept up too soon. I swear they're having the kids finish a few days early for some reason this year. And everything has taken longer than it was supposed to. Damnit. I'm just too damn thorough. When I teach a book, they f-ing know the book.
I guess I'll have to plan better for next year. It WAS my first time teaching both of the texts. And we WILL finish it on time...it's just the project that's getting a last minute deal. Which means a lot of grading too... The other classes are just fine--they just finished reading a drama, which we've done all sorts of fun stuff with. And then they too will write an essay. Dang it. I didn't mean to leave all the essays for last, but seriously, they haven't written one for months, and they are in dire need of a refresher course in that before they head off for the summer. We've done fun little group and individual activities and presentations and things. But I want them to be able to show they can write a decent essay after all is said and done.
I know, I know, the traditionally taught teacher rears her head. If I had fit in the essays earlier, I would have ended with my interesting projects, like I did with the 9th grade. They wrote plenty of essays (since they were a grammar and writing class). And now they're able to sit back after the MCA and get into literature and more interesting writing assignments.
The books and essays were supposed to be staggered a bit more, giving me more time to get the different essays for different classes graded. That's my own dang fault for not sticking to my calendar.
Okay, enough school venting.
In other news? I...
*registered for my summer and fall courses for grad school: Native American Literature and Literary Criticism. I can do that.
*rode my bike...once.
*haven't been going to the gym enough.
*have been doing an okay job of staying on track with my physical therapy knee exercises.
*was sick Sunday-Wednesday so I took 1.5 days off, and am still sick now, and probably still will be tomorrow.
*haven't cooked anything interesting for two weeks.
*saw Wolverine and was not impressed. I wanted to see Gambit! Not some dude who sort of acted like Gambit with no charisma, accent, or character.
*am going to see Star Trek tomorrow, and I'm going to like it. Yes, I will.
*saw Flight of the Conchords perform with Eugene Mirman opening with his comedy act. It was sweet. Even with the fire alarm going off for the first 20 minutes. boowoooop! boowoooop! boowoooop!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Thou praisest the worst best.
Blah, blah, blah, next time I'll write more often, blah blah blah.
Cool things that have happened lately:
*Got accepted in the Masters program for the Graduate English Program at the University of St. Thomas. Yay!
*Chris got accepted into the Masters program for Public Health at the UMN. Go Chris!
*Started physical therapy for my knees a couple weeks ago. I've been doing the exercises for the most part, and have seen some progress. Go me!
*Bought a new hybrid bike. I haven't used it outside a parking lot yet. But as soon as the weather stays consistently nice and my knees get stronger, I know I'll be out there. Chris got one too :)
*Took students on a Saturday field trip to the Guthrie to see A Raisin in the Sun. So I got paid to see play that would cost me $30. And the kids were well-behaved, loved the play, and were awestruck by the architecture of the new Guthrie theater.
*Saw a lot of improv comedy shows and a couple good movies. Go Mustache Rangers! Go Boom Town! And yay for I Love You, Man.
Annoying things that have happened lately:
*Got some sort of stomach flu when I visited Karin in Madison. Aside from being sick at my friend's house, which is not fun, I also missed out on visiting my other friends in the area and in Milwaukee and Chicago.
*Had a migraine yesterday that put me out of commission from 5pm-6am the next day.
*Paid way too much money to the government. Stupid taxes.
*Everyone is busy! Including myself...but it just has made most people inaccessible and stressed out.
Interesting things that will happen soon:
*Teaching Shakespeare for the first time to my 11th and 12th graders. Othello is not my favorite, but it seemed the most accessible. Crossing my fingers.
*....more blogging....
Blah, blah, blah, next time I'll write more often, blah blah blah.
Cool things that have happened lately:
*Got accepted in the Masters program for the Graduate English Program at the University of St. Thomas. Yay!
*Chris got accepted into the Masters program for Public Health at the UMN. Go Chris!
*Started physical therapy for my knees a couple weeks ago. I've been doing the exercises for the most part, and have seen some progress. Go me!
*Bought a new hybrid bike. I haven't used it outside a parking lot yet. But as soon as the weather stays consistently nice and my knees get stronger, I know I'll be out there. Chris got one too :)
*Took students on a Saturday field trip to the Guthrie to see A Raisin in the Sun. So I got paid to see play that would cost me $30. And the kids were well-behaved, loved the play, and were awestruck by the architecture of the new Guthrie theater.
*Saw a lot of improv comedy shows and a couple good movies. Go Mustache Rangers! Go Boom Town! And yay for I Love You, Man.
Annoying things that have happened lately:
*Got some sort of stomach flu when I visited Karin in Madison. Aside from being sick at my friend's house, which is not fun, I also missed out on visiting my other friends in the area and in Milwaukee and Chicago.
*Had a migraine yesterday that put me out of commission from 5pm-6am the next day.
*Paid way too much money to the government. Stupid taxes.
*Everyone is busy! Including myself...but it just has made most people inaccessible and stressed out.
Interesting things that will happen soon:
*Teaching Shakespeare for the first time to my 11th and 12th graders. Othello is not my favorite, but it seemed the most accessible. Crossing my fingers.
*....more blogging....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thoughts to Ponder
Parties with free food and drinks are cool.
The world is smaller than we think.
All we have is now.
If I was left on a desert island and had to pick one cereal to eat for months, it would be Honey Nut Cheerios.
Small children are fascinating.
$25 gift certificates for Caribou Coffee are meant to be spent.
I want a puppy, but not as a trainer baby, damn it.
Gongs are cool.
Parties with free food and drinks are cool.
The world is smaller than we think.
All we have is now.
If I was left on a desert island and had to pick one cereal to eat for months, it would be Honey Nut Cheerios.
Small children are fascinating.
$25 gift certificates for Caribou Coffee are meant to be spent.
I want a puppy, but not as a trainer baby, damn it.
Gongs are cool.
Monday, December 22, 2008
DDR and Other Devolpments
This week has been a good and bad for many reasons, but overall I give it maybe a 60% good rating.
Good Things This Week:
*Got the chance to hang out with Jenni, Jenny, Tricia, Trevor, Erin, Lance (and Lily), Civi Mike, Jesus Chris, and random other people who were cool.
*Had car fixed up so it is in tip-top shape for Texas trip.
*Finally bought some foam mats to put on the floor under the DDR mats and over a big rug so that the basement is now ready for DDR anytime (and have taken advantage of that 3 times thus far).
*Spent a nice early Christmas dinner with Chris's family.
*As of Friday, I have been and will be on Winter Break for 2 weeks.
*We're going to visit Scott, Jennifer, Soleil, and Ty in a few days--my first official ROAD TRIP!
*Last Saturday we saw Heiruspecs at their CD Release party...that was a sweet concert.
*My students surprised me with food and cake twice.
*I got a sweet haircut...but have no pics of it yet.
*I blogged again!
*Chris got A's on both of his grad classes.
*I stopped being sick.
*Went bowling and didn't do completely shitty.
Bad Things This Week:
*Getting maintenance on my car cost $1050. Not cool.
*Chris's car needed a tow and a new battery...another $200.
*I didn't catch up on work at all, so now I have a bag full of grading that must get done in less than 3 weeks or I'm screwed.
*Shoveling 6+ inches of snow blows.
*It's f-ing cold here.
*Didn't get the 12 times in at the gym for the month.
*Ate a bunch of really bad-for-me food. (Haven't done much to lower my cholesterol which I think I need to do since my blood lab results last week.)
*Still have more Christmas shopping to do.
*Blender stopped working.
Despite some setbacks, it's been a good week, and I'm really excited about this upcoming week.
Good things to come:
Monday: Chris's work holiday party--free snacks, free dinner, free drinks, music, games, and prizes! (unless the recession has changed things since last year)
Tuesday: Probably shopping with Tricia and Erin...or going on my own. (Note to self: Must buy a microwave and possibly a blender)
Wednesday: Relaxing, packing, cleaning, wrapping presents. Also, Christmas Eve celebration just husband and wife, exchanging presents and enjoying my favorite night of the year.
Thursday: Christmas Day family get-together for Chris's extended family. Also, MIGHT begin road trip to Texas late that night.
Friday: Definitely on the road in early morning en route to Texas.
Saturday: Arrive in Texas.
Sunday-following Friday: Hang out in Texas.
Friday some time: Drive back to MN.
It will be a busy break, but it should be a blast, especially if we bring some rockin music with us, which will probably be our highest priority for packing, sadly. How will a 15 hour + drive be with just my hubby and the open road? I shall find out!
This week has been a good and bad for many reasons, but overall I give it maybe a 60% good rating.
Good Things This Week:
*Got the chance to hang out with Jenni, Jenny, Tricia, Trevor, Erin, Lance (and Lily), Civi Mike, Jesus Chris, and random other people who were cool.
*Had car fixed up so it is in tip-top shape for Texas trip.
*Finally bought some foam mats to put on the floor under the DDR mats and over a big rug so that the basement is now ready for DDR anytime (and have taken advantage of that 3 times thus far).
*Spent a nice early Christmas dinner with Chris's family.
*As of Friday, I have been and will be on Winter Break for 2 weeks.
*We're going to visit Scott, Jennifer, Soleil, and Ty in a few days--my first official ROAD TRIP!
*Last Saturday we saw Heiruspecs at their CD Release party...that was a sweet concert.
*My students surprised me with food and cake twice.
*I got a sweet haircut...but have no pics of it yet.
*I blogged again!
*Chris got A's on both of his grad classes.
*I stopped being sick.
*Went bowling and didn't do completely shitty.
Bad Things This Week:
*Getting maintenance on my car cost $1050. Not cool.
*Chris's car needed a tow and a new battery...another $200.
*I didn't catch up on work at all, so now I have a bag full of grading that must get done in less than 3 weeks or I'm screwed.
*Shoveling 6+ inches of snow blows.
*It's f-ing cold here.
*Didn't get the 12 times in at the gym for the month.
*Ate a bunch of really bad-for-me food. (Haven't done much to lower my cholesterol which I think I need to do since my blood lab results last week.)
*Still have more Christmas shopping to do.
*Blender stopped working.
Despite some setbacks, it's been a good week, and I'm really excited about this upcoming week.
Good things to come:
Monday: Chris's work holiday party--free snacks, free dinner, free drinks, music, games, and prizes! (unless the recession has changed things since last year)
Tuesday: Probably shopping with Tricia and Erin...or going on my own. (Note to self: Must buy a microwave and possibly a blender)
Wednesday: Relaxing, packing, cleaning, wrapping presents. Also, Christmas Eve celebration just husband and wife, exchanging presents and enjoying my favorite night of the year.
Thursday: Christmas Day family get-together for Chris's extended family. Also, MIGHT begin road trip to Texas late that night.
Friday: Definitely on the road in early morning en route to Texas.
Saturday: Arrive in Texas.
Sunday-following Friday: Hang out in Texas.
Friday some time: Drive back to MN.
It will be a busy break, but it should be a blast, especially if we bring some rockin music with us, which will probably be our highest priority for packing, sadly. How will a 15 hour + drive be with just my hubby and the open road? I shall find out!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Don't BS a BSer
I no longer worry about whether or not I will update on time for this blog. It is a sad realization, but a true one, nonetheless. I started this blog years ago, and it certainly has run through the gauntlet of time. I'm happy with the way it has developed over the years in its format, but a bit saddened by the slow deterioration of my writing. Were all of my blog entries that creative back "in the day"? No. But I did try to be fun and creative, and I also used this blog as an outlet for my feelings, ranging from minor frustration, to rage, to utter bliss. Considering how the internet has become a place where anonymity is becoming less and less possible (or of interest to most people), it's probably a good thing that I don't use my blog in that manner much anymore. Ah, but there were some good old fashioned rants. I'm sure some have found them greatly amusing. As for me, I look back and see a slow yet sure development of personality. Maybe my writing skills have slacked since I don't regularly utilize my creative writing skills, but I'd like to think that my strength and spirit have grown.
Yeah, I know this sounds pretty lame overall. But considering the sorts of crap I've written in the past, who gives a damn if this is lame? Speaking of KRAP...it'd be nice to write another entry like that again sometime. I'll have to see if I can come up with a good topic. Maybe it will be something about the holidays. That could be festive.
You know what the frustrating thing is? As much as I have matured over the years, there are things that I will probably never outgrow. Oh, I know that can be a good thing. I mean, I pity the poor fools that "outgrow" their imaginations and child-like curiosity of the world. More of what I'm talking about is old habits and crutches that I fall back on too often. For instance, I doubt that I'll ever get a full handle on my procrastination. I have no idea why, but apparently I enjoy that weakness of mine and will never shake it. Another example: bingeing. Now, I don't really mean food, although I suppose that happens now and then. I'm talking about how I will get on a kick for something hard core for a while, and then I just drop it like it never happened. Examples: knitting, karate, running, organizing various parts of the house, playing video games, reading books, listening to a new band, etc. I could go into detail, but at this point, I'm just happy I'm taking the time to blog...another thing I used to be hard core about.
And then there's the self-destructive thoughts--the ones that just don't get me anywhere. There's the thoughts about the past, which do no good since there's no way to change anything and I am who I am because of what I did and what happened. I should be happy things have gone so well so far. And then there's the thoughts of the future, which mostly overwhelm me. I can't think of one bit of the future without the whole thing flooding over me and confounding me into non-action. Grad school? Children? House? Job? What career path do I want? Which is the right school for me? Would I be willing to leave the Twin Cities if I had to? Can I stand staying at the same school for another year or more? With the job market so bleak, shouldn't I be clinging to what I have and working my ass off to keep it? Would I be a good parent? Will I ever be ready to have children? Will I feel satisfied if I decide not to have children?
It's like, I want a guidance counselor for my life. Just tell me what I would be best at doing. Give me a special test that shows my job satisfaction, my capabilities, my interests, and all the possible careers that I could be qualified for. And what I really mean is, as I progress and advance from being a classroom teacher, not to just abandon what I've done. Should I try to write curriculum? Should I try to work for a district? Should I try to be more of a team leader? Should I try to teach at the college level? Should I try to do research? Should I write? Am I a good writer? God, this stuff just plagues me.
As I said, when I think of one thing I just get bombared with thought after thought, wonder after wonder: What if...? What should...? How can...? And it just doesn't help anything at all except to add stress where stress already exists in a much more tangible fashion. Besides, Chris already is dealing with these things on his own, given that he's looking for full time work, works part time for hours he doesn't enjoy, and is currently taking grad school classes for a career path he's not 100% sure of. At least he's proactive. Me, I can complain about it, but when it comes to taking action, I'm too afraid to do the wrong thing or just feel so overwhelmed that I do nothing at all, which is just stupid.
So what am I doing about it? Blogging. Wonderful. Give me a f-ing medal.
Alright, just to throw you a positive bone, these are some things to BRIGHTEN your day:
*I got my first sewing machine for Xmas! (Maybe some day I will take the time to learn to use it.)
*I finally saw Casino Royale a couple weeks ago and then the next day went to see Quantum of Solace. That was rad.
*Chris bought me new DDR mats so I can play DDR again! And once I clean up the basement, I can make myself a special area so I can actually play DDR without fear of making the ceiling fall down on my downstairs neighbor.
*The new middle school English teacher is nice and we can actually hang out sometimes and relate on a professional level. Rock.
*And I'm still happily married to a man that shares in listening to music I love, watching movies that make me laugh, hanging out with awesome friends, and making me feel like none of the frustrating things listed up above are worth worrying about.
I no longer worry about whether or not I will update on time for this blog. It is a sad realization, but a true one, nonetheless. I started this blog years ago, and it certainly has run through the gauntlet of time. I'm happy with the way it has developed over the years in its format, but a bit saddened by the slow deterioration of my writing. Were all of my blog entries that creative back "in the day"? No. But I did try to be fun and creative, and I also used this blog as an outlet for my feelings, ranging from minor frustration, to rage, to utter bliss. Considering how the internet has become a place where anonymity is becoming less and less possible (or of interest to most people), it's probably a good thing that I don't use my blog in that manner much anymore. Ah, but there were some good old fashioned rants. I'm sure some have found them greatly amusing. As for me, I look back and see a slow yet sure development of personality. Maybe my writing skills have slacked since I don't regularly utilize my creative writing skills, but I'd like to think that my strength and spirit have grown.
Yeah, I know this sounds pretty lame overall. But considering the sorts of crap I've written in the past, who gives a damn if this is lame? Speaking of KRAP...it'd be nice to write another entry like that again sometime. I'll have to see if I can come up with a good topic. Maybe it will be something about the holidays. That could be festive.
You know what the frustrating thing is? As much as I have matured over the years, there are things that I will probably never outgrow. Oh, I know that can be a good thing. I mean, I pity the poor fools that "outgrow" their imaginations and child-like curiosity of the world. More of what I'm talking about is old habits and crutches that I fall back on too often. For instance, I doubt that I'll ever get a full handle on my procrastination. I have no idea why, but apparently I enjoy that weakness of mine and will never shake it. Another example: bingeing. Now, I don't really mean food, although I suppose that happens now and then. I'm talking about how I will get on a kick for something hard core for a while, and then I just drop it like it never happened. Examples: knitting, karate, running, organizing various parts of the house, playing video games, reading books, listening to a new band, etc. I could go into detail, but at this point, I'm just happy I'm taking the time to blog...another thing I used to be hard core about.
And then there's the self-destructive thoughts--the ones that just don't get me anywhere. There's the thoughts about the past, which do no good since there's no way to change anything and I am who I am because of what I did and what happened. I should be happy things have gone so well so far. And then there's the thoughts of the future, which mostly overwhelm me. I can't think of one bit of the future without the whole thing flooding over me and confounding me into non-action. Grad school? Children? House? Job? What career path do I want? Which is the right school for me? Would I be willing to leave the Twin Cities if I had to? Can I stand staying at the same school for another year or more? With the job market so bleak, shouldn't I be clinging to what I have and working my ass off to keep it? Would I be a good parent? Will I ever be ready to have children? Will I feel satisfied if I decide not to have children?
It's like, I want a guidance counselor for my life. Just tell me what I would be best at doing. Give me a special test that shows my job satisfaction, my capabilities, my interests, and all the possible careers that I could be qualified for. And what I really mean is, as I progress and advance from being a classroom teacher, not to just abandon what I've done. Should I try to write curriculum? Should I try to work for a district? Should I try to be more of a team leader? Should I try to teach at the college level? Should I try to do research? Should I write? Am I a good writer? God, this stuff just plagues me.
As I said, when I think of one thing I just get bombared with thought after thought, wonder after wonder: What if...? What should...? How can...? And it just doesn't help anything at all except to add stress where stress already exists in a much more tangible fashion. Besides, Chris already is dealing with these things on his own, given that he's looking for full time work, works part time for hours he doesn't enjoy, and is currently taking grad school classes for a career path he's not 100% sure of. At least he's proactive. Me, I can complain about it, but when it comes to taking action, I'm too afraid to do the wrong thing or just feel so overwhelmed that I do nothing at all, which is just stupid.
So what am I doing about it? Blogging. Wonderful. Give me a f-ing medal.
Alright, just to throw you a positive bone, these are some things to BRIGHTEN your day:
*I got my first sewing machine for Xmas! (Maybe some day I will take the time to learn to use it.)
*I finally saw Casino Royale a couple weeks ago and then the next day went to see Quantum of Solace. That was rad.
*Chris bought me new DDR mats so I can play DDR again! And once I clean up the basement, I can make myself a special area so I can actually play DDR without fear of making the ceiling fall down on my downstairs neighbor.
*The new middle school English teacher is nice and we can actually hang out sometimes and relate on a professional level. Rock.
*And I'm still happily married to a man that shares in listening to music I love, watching movies that make me laugh, hanging out with awesome friends, and making me feel like none of the frustrating things listed up above are worth worrying about.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
To make up for lost months...
Sorry, but be prepared for a full on stream-of-consciousness rant.
I'm in a very sappy mood and listening to music that played at my wedding. Watching three movies either about Jane Austen or based on her novels in the last few days will do that to you. Not getting enough sleep and having stressful days at work will also have you thinking sentimentally.
I'm not complaining. I love my job. I love that my colleagues and supervisors think highly enough of my abilities to entrust me with responsibilities. I just don't love it that at least 12 hours of my day are taken up by my job.
I know that I can say "No." But I can't bring myself to it. Earlier this week, I had a much more personal epiphany: I am just like my brothers.
My oldest brother works 3 jobs to support his family. Every time I've asked him about it and wondered why he doesn't back off on his hours and insist that his wife pick up a part time job, he assures me that he likes what he's doing. He is a teacher, a tutor, and a manager at a fast food restaurant.
My second oldest brother has been working as a sort of "plant manager" for a major packaging corporation. His job has supplied him with a blackberry so he can get tens of emails and calls every day, even after he has "punched out" for the day. When I went to visit him in the fall, half the weekend was spent with him either at work, on the computer, on his phone, or talking with work colleagues.
And me. What am I? I certainly make less than both of my brothers. I also do not have a family to support. So why work so much? I just don't know. Teaching demands a lot of time, effort, and heart. It sounds lame, but it's so true. I give something of myself every day, even when I think sometimes I just hate my students, I still give them more. I can't stop giving.
No, I'm not an exceptional teacher. I feel far under qualified for that designation. But what is driving me? To be an excellent teacher? To be more? While my oldest brother has nearly completed his masters degree even while balancing family and jobs, I have not yet begun my post-bachelor education. I also haven't really even thought seriously about renewing my license, even though it expires in June 2010. It always seemed so far away. Now it's just two years.
I've been a teacher now for four years. I keep pleading with myself and others that I'm just a new teacher; I have so much to learn and am not ready for all of the things that are thrown at me. Today I mentioned that to an older and wiser teacher while we worked together to run a graduation rehearsal. I said, "What am I doing here? Shouldn't some other more experienced teacher by running this? When did I become a senior teacher?"
It is rather ridiculous. At most other schools, I'd be still quite low on the totem pole, with many hands and minds to guide me. But with my school being so small and so young, I've been pushed toward...no, strike that. Honestly, I've sought out a position of power. Does that make sense? Why would I wish more work?!
I blame it on my family's work ethic and on Girl Scouts. My family's motto would probably to always try my hardest and they will always be proud. As for Girl Scouts, I was always taught to leave things better than the way I found them. I'm fairly certain they were talking about cleaning the latrines and picking up litter, but apparently I've taken it as a maxim for fixing the world.
And what good can I do? What good have I done? So far, I've managed to do a barely passable job at sending two senior classes out into the real world. As hard as I tried and felt like I was doing right, I still feel like I failed to prepare them for the competitive society. The rest of the students, well, I guess I have at least one more year to try again.
Anything else? I suppose I did start an online school newspaper, but it's pretty bogus because I haven't managed to get even the second edition published. It's been finished for a month, but I just haven't taken the time to fix the one glitch in the image for the link bar buttons. I meant to have Chad check on my html stuff when he was visiting the newspaper class as a guest speaker, but I forgot. I guess there's better luck this summer and next year, but I still feel like I've been a less than mediocre editor-in-chief.
Hm...I suppose there is a sort of "library" now that I'm there. My school has no library and no media specialist. I guess I'm it, but with a full load of teaching, that means I do a half-assed job. I have a few hundred books that I've contributed through garage sales, used book stores, and my own collection, which I've stuck on two bookcases in my classroom. The students sign out the books in a binder. That's supposed to hold them responsible. Problem is, I'm too damn busy to check on the progress of it, so I forget to follow up on students to hold them accountable for missing books. ::sigh:: I'll probably lose at least 20 books this year. As it is, I lost at least 2 hardcover Harry Potter books. I'm not buying them again, used or not.
It's my second year at the same school. It's supposed to be EASIER! And yet, I feel more overwhelmed than ever. Seriously, my house would look like complete shit if Chris wasn't putting 4/5 of the effort to hold it together. (He probably does more like 9/10 of the work.) I feel like I'm working more hours and teaching more crap. My lessons are less inventive and I'm using more worksheets and doing more essays. What happened to the dream? When did it become all about this pressure; this constant pressure to get those kids to learn EVERYTHING they need to know and to have ALL the skills they need to succeed? Why isn't as fun? Why do I care so much?
God, I sound like such a full-of-myself whiner. I'm not that good; not that kind hearted. I just feel so much more pressure now. I keep wanting to improve my lessons, and I feel I'm not being difficult enough--I'm not challenging them enough. But what the F do they want from me? I'm already putting in 8am-7pm days most days of the week. That leaves 4-5 hours of "free time." It sounds like a lot from this perspective, but when I'm staring down the clock, those minutes fly by...and I haven't even played video games for two months. What the hell have I done?
Alright. My mind is clearer now. Positives?
*Over 90% of my students don't hate me and I don't think any of the staff hates me.
*I really enjoy coming up with creative lessons (when I give myself time).
*I really enjoy being "on stage" every day when I'm teaching.
*I've learned a hell of a lot about teaching, literature, classroom management, and administrative duties.
*I made my own website.
*I do get holidays off and will have 3 weeks off in June before summer school starts.
*I just might have "reached" a few students this year.
*Chris hasn't left me yet despite his constant burden of being married to a teacher.
*I get my own "office" with two big windows and it can hold 50 people easily.
*If I get my masters degree (and I do plan to start on that track this fall), I can make a few more thousand dollars a year...so maybe in a few years I can start earning a livable wage, eh?
(On a side note, it is sort of sad how most of our country pities teachers for not having a high enough salary, but the most that's ever done with it is Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a teacher if" jokes and discounts at craft stores and book stores. And it is also sad that many people ignore the fact that people who work in other social services fields also get shit pay, but with no discounts or "Oh, you're a teacher" pity looks.)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Reacquainting Myself with Jane
I just had one of those "Duh" moments. For years I had this knowledge but didn't put two and two together until tonight. Here's my should-have-realized-this-years-ago epiphany:
The movie Clueless is based almost entirely on Jane Austen's Emma.
There you have it. It only took the English major/teacher ten years to figure it out.
I just had one of those "Duh" moments. For years I had this knowledge but didn't put two and two together until tonight. Here's my should-have-realized-this-years-ago epiphany:
The movie Clueless is based almost entirely on Jane Austen's Emma.
There you have it. It only took the English major/teacher ten years to figure it out.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Working Towards Resolutions
Alright, here are my "New Year's Resolutions" to be accomplished in no particular order and with only a half-assed intention of following through on all of them--I more expect to actually accomplish some of them, but not all. That's better than nothing, I suppose.
Physical Health
1. Keep going to karate class regularly. Aside from running and biking, this is the only exercise that I have found I really enjoy. It really puts my endurance, strength and flexibility to the test, and it's about time I put those aspects of my body to the test. I probably won't run regularly anymore--my knees are becoming a problem. But that's another resolution.
2. Start using the exercise bikes at the Y. It's not likely that I'm going to become a 4 season biker, but I think I can handle indoor cycling during these cold, messy months. It will also help strengthen some key muscle groups I need to work on, and I also won't suck so bad at biking in the spring.
3. Do some strength training around my problem areas--mostly my knees. I went to the doctor and she said I could either quit the strenuous activity or I could do some exercises to strengthen that area. Considering that karate is the first physical "sport" that I seem to be okay at and actually like, I don't think I'll be quitting anytime soon. Besides, I still have to wear that gi (after my mom hems it for me).
4. Eat less shit. For a while I was doing really well, eating more fresh produce and less fried foods. Lately I've been going out too often and taking shortcuts when making dinner instead of cooking full course meals that offer all the food groups. No more of that! Okay, well, less of that anyway. It's hard to eat right when I'm not home a lot.
5. Sleep better. I've been doing a better job at going to bed at a more reasonable hour (except tonight, I suppose), but I still need to try to do this more regularly. That way, I get up a little earlier, get to work earlier, and feel less disorganized and stressed when I get to work. Even an extra 15 minutes can make a big difference.
5. Don't sleep right away when I go to bed. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed during the work week that I don't take the time to "exercise" a little before I go to sleep. So, I'm going to try to, you know, "exercise" more often.
Mental Health
1. Work less! Somehow I have to either become more efficient or care about work less. Probably I will have to do a little of both. Naturally, it helps when I actually do more than 20 min of work on the weekend. Still, there's a time for work and a time for play, and right now I'm getting very little play time. In all aspects.
2. Write more! I seriously need to take more time to journal, write poetry/stories, and blog. It doesn't matter much to me which I do, as long as I take the time in some media to express my ideas in writing, not just speaking.
3. Read more! I'm sick of reading the same old crap. Right now the most I've been reading is the news online. While it is good to stay informed, my brain needs escape and to think about things more metaphysically at times--I need fantasy, adventure, mystery, and other genres to keep my imagination alive.
Spiritual Health
Honestly, my spirituality lately has been mostly a joke. For all I've done to develop and express myself spiritually, I may as well call myself an atheist. But I'm not an atheist, nor am I Christian or any other major religion. If I'm really going to call myself spiritual, but not religious, I need to take time to do some spiritual things.
This is hard to explain if you don't know me well enough to know my thoughts and ideas when it comes to my "faith," but here's sort of what I mean:
1. Meditate--I don't necessarily need to sit with a candle and stare at a wall for a half hour while sitting crosslegged and humming to myself. What I do mean is that I need to allow myself to sit or lay quietly for a while, with no other distractions, and just allow myself to clear my mind and exist for a while. Not to worry about all of the things I need to do, but to just let myself be myself and enjoy the fact that I am alive and breathing.
2. Appreciate nature--I always say that one of my major beliefs is in the "specialness" of nature. I can see the spiritual or divine in the beauty and wonder of nature. Well, if that is true, how come I spend so little time outside, or even looking outside. Despite the fact that it's friggen cold here, I need to take the time to go for a walk, observe my surroundings outside my window, stop at a park, or even do something cliche like watch the sunset or sunrise. I spend way too much time stuffed indoors and completely insular.
3. Help others--One thing I believe that all people should do is to do their utmost to be kind to others. That's simply a humanist thing. One could say I help others for a living, but I think sometimes I forget to be more kind when I leave work. I get so burned out from teaching that I don't feel like reaching out at all in my community. I'm not saying I'm planning to join a volunteer organization (I simply have no time for that at this point), but there are some activities and little, short things I could do in my neighborhood, even, such as stop at a block meeting or meet my neighbors more.
I'm sure there's some other things I should do. But I'm pretty sure half the things on the list are already not going to happen, so why add more?
Alright, here are my "New Year's Resolutions" to be accomplished in no particular order and with only a half-assed intention of following through on all of them--I more expect to actually accomplish some of them, but not all. That's better than nothing, I suppose.
Physical Health
1. Keep going to karate class regularly. Aside from running and biking, this is the only exercise that I have found I really enjoy. It really puts my endurance, strength and flexibility to the test, and it's about time I put those aspects of my body to the test. I probably won't run regularly anymore--my knees are becoming a problem. But that's another resolution.
2. Start using the exercise bikes at the Y. It's not likely that I'm going to become a 4 season biker, but I think I can handle indoor cycling during these cold, messy months. It will also help strengthen some key muscle groups I need to work on, and I also won't suck so bad at biking in the spring.
3. Do some strength training around my problem areas--mostly my knees. I went to the doctor and she said I could either quit the strenuous activity or I could do some exercises to strengthen that area. Considering that karate is the first physical "sport" that I seem to be okay at and actually like, I don't think I'll be quitting anytime soon. Besides, I still have to wear that gi (after my mom hems it for me).
4. Eat less shit. For a while I was doing really well, eating more fresh produce and less fried foods. Lately I've been going out too often and taking shortcuts when making dinner instead of cooking full course meals that offer all the food groups. No more of that! Okay, well, less of that anyway. It's hard to eat right when I'm not home a lot.
5. Sleep better. I've been doing a better job at going to bed at a more reasonable hour (except tonight, I suppose), but I still need to try to do this more regularly. That way, I get up a little earlier, get to work earlier, and feel less disorganized and stressed when I get to work. Even an extra 15 minutes can make a big difference.
5. Don't sleep right away when I go to bed. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed during the work week that I don't take the time to "exercise" a little before I go to sleep. So, I'm going to try to, you know, "exercise" more often.
Mental Health
1. Work less! Somehow I have to either become more efficient or care about work less. Probably I will have to do a little of both. Naturally, it helps when I actually do more than 20 min of work on the weekend. Still, there's a time for work and a time for play, and right now I'm getting very little play time. In all aspects.
2. Write more! I seriously need to take more time to journal, write poetry/stories, and blog. It doesn't matter much to me which I do, as long as I take the time in some media to express my ideas in writing, not just speaking.
3. Read more! I'm sick of reading the same old crap. Right now the most I've been reading is the news online. While it is good to stay informed, my brain needs escape and to think about things more metaphysically at times--I need fantasy, adventure, mystery, and other genres to keep my imagination alive.
Spiritual Health
Honestly, my spirituality lately has been mostly a joke. For all I've done to develop and express myself spiritually, I may as well call myself an atheist. But I'm not an atheist, nor am I Christian or any other major religion. If I'm really going to call myself spiritual, but not religious, I need to take time to do some spiritual things.
This is hard to explain if you don't know me well enough to know my thoughts and ideas when it comes to my "faith," but here's sort of what I mean:
1. Meditate--I don't necessarily need to sit with a candle and stare at a wall for a half hour while sitting crosslegged and humming to myself. What I do mean is that I need to allow myself to sit or lay quietly for a while, with no other distractions, and just allow myself to clear my mind and exist for a while. Not to worry about all of the things I need to do, but to just let myself be myself and enjoy the fact that I am alive and breathing.
2. Appreciate nature--I always say that one of my major beliefs is in the "specialness" of nature. I can see the spiritual or divine in the beauty and wonder of nature. Well, if that is true, how come I spend so little time outside, or even looking outside. Despite the fact that it's friggen cold here, I need to take the time to go for a walk, observe my surroundings outside my window, stop at a park, or even do something cliche like watch the sunset or sunrise. I spend way too much time stuffed indoors and completely insular.
3. Help others--One thing I believe that all people should do is to do their utmost to be kind to others. That's simply a humanist thing. One could say I help others for a living, but I think sometimes I forget to be more kind when I leave work. I get so burned out from teaching that I don't feel like reaching out at all in my community. I'm not saying I'm planning to join a volunteer organization (I simply have no time for that at this point), but there are some activities and little, short things I could do in my neighborhood, even, such as stop at a block meeting or meet my neighbors more.
I'm sure there's some other things I should do. But I'm pretty sure half the things on the list are already not going to happen, so why add more?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Good Intentions
I think my brain is starting to fry. I spend so much of it doing work that I can't concentrate well on anything else during the week. Of course, blogging has definitely taken a back seat, as has using Facebook or MySpace. At the beginning of the year, I had such good intentions to blog more and make up some resolutions and shit. Not really a big surprise that I didn't. Sadly, work has just sucked up my life. The truly sad part is that I like it. I mean, I love it.
No, I am not a workaholic. Well, I don't think I am anyway. Are workaholics self aware? Despite my passion for teaching (though definitely not the office work or grading) I'm still being social, and I suppose that's the other part of the problem. Combine work with a social life, and I get just a couple hours a day for myself, if I'm lucky. That's necessarily a bad thing, except that it makes things a little stressful sometimes. Still, it's nice to hang out with people I don't typically see that often.
For instance, it's still f-ing awesome that Jenni is in town now. We don't live that close, but Jenni makes a really good effort in driving up here to hang out, even on week nights. I'll have to get down there soon. I'm trying to get a lot of time in with Karin too, since she'll be moving down to Madison after her wedding in mid-April.
Here are some things on the bright side:
I think my brain is starting to fry. I spend so much of it doing work that I can't concentrate well on anything else during the week. Of course, blogging has definitely taken a back seat, as has using Facebook or MySpace. At the beginning of the year, I had such good intentions to blog more and make up some resolutions and shit. Not really a big surprise that I didn't. Sadly, work has just sucked up my life. The truly sad part is that I like it. I mean, I love it.
No, I am not a workaholic. Well, I don't think I am anyway. Are workaholics self aware? Despite my passion for teaching (though definitely not the office work or grading) I'm still being social, and I suppose that's the other part of the problem. Combine work with a social life, and I get just a couple hours a day for myself, if I'm lucky. That's necessarily a bad thing, except that it makes things a little stressful sometimes. Still, it's nice to hang out with people I don't typically see that often.
For instance, it's still f-ing awesome that Jenni is in town now. We don't live that close, but Jenni makes a really good effort in driving up here to hang out, even on week nights. I'll have to get down there soon. I'm trying to get a lot of time in with Karin too, since she'll be moving down to Madison after her wedding in mid-April.
Here are some things on the bright side:
- I finally finished putting together the online school newspaper. It's not online yet, due to having to wait for the tech guy to meet with me. I'll let you know when it's done. I would post about it, but I prefer not having the whole world know where I work.
- I'm still rocking karate class at the YWCA. I probably couldn't kick anyone's ass YET, but Chris did get my a gi for my birthday :)
- The Christmas tree is still up. I guess the tradition continues. Now it's a Valentine's Day tree.
- I have reestablished old ties--I now can play Super Mario World on the SNES again! Yay for used game stores! (And losing games I KNOW I own totally sucks)
Monday, December 31, 2007
This sucks. I want my YACCS comments back, but I haven't figured out how to do it with the new template and editing interface. I'm hoping to figure it out eventually. For now, I'm going to enable the Blogger comments. I just want the YACCS ones because it's a good, easy-to-use program and then all my archived comments will be there from the beginning.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Slacker As Usual
It's no surprise that I haven't updated it a long time. The reasons are plentiful, but really boil down to two things: 1) I've been using MySpace and Facebook more often. 2) I've always been a slacker and continue to be a slacker.
Some time in the next week I plan to create a top ten list of 2007 in preparation for the new year. By the way, since when is New Year's Eve referred to regularly as "NYE"? Somehow I didn't catch that until I saw it several times this year. For a while there I thought NYE was either a nightclub or a new alcoholic beverage. Close enough, I suppose.
Chris and I are hosting a NYE...bleah, I refuse to use it. Chris and I are hosting a New Year's Eve party at our place this year, which sounds like a lot of fun, but I have a feeling that most of our friends are going to bugger out and attend other festivities that evening. Oh well. I'm sure that even if our party has less than 10 people, it will still be a blast. Besides, there's always the Procrastinator's Ball the weekend following New Year's Eve. That's consistently been a great time.
I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Eid, etc. I think my highlights of the holidays thus far have been my nephew repeatedly saying, "1, 2, 3 smile!" as he ran around with the camera I gave him, and having my cousin Josh unexpectedly crashing our family Christmas celebration when the weather got bad on his way to his family's house. I might have even successfully passed on Telephone Pictionary to yet another worthy participant.
Feliz Navidad! Hasta El Neuvo Ano!
It's no surprise that I haven't updated it a long time. The reasons are plentiful, but really boil down to two things: 1) I've been using MySpace and Facebook more often. 2) I've always been a slacker and continue to be a slacker.
Some time in the next week I plan to create a top ten list of 2007 in preparation for the new year. By the way, since when is New Year's Eve referred to regularly as "NYE"? Somehow I didn't catch that until I saw it several times this year. For a while there I thought NYE was either a nightclub or a new alcoholic beverage. Close enough, I suppose.
Chris and I are hosting a NYE...bleah, I refuse to use it. Chris and I are hosting a New Year's Eve party at our place this year, which sounds like a lot of fun, but I have a feeling that most of our friends are going to bugger out and attend other festivities that evening. Oh well. I'm sure that even if our party has less than 10 people, it will still be a blast. Besides, there's always the Procrastinator's Ball the weekend following New Year's Eve. That's consistently been a great time.
I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Eid, etc. I think my highlights of the holidays thus far have been my nephew repeatedly saying, "1, 2, 3 smile!" as he ran around with the camera I gave him, and having my cousin Josh unexpectedly crashing our family Christmas celebration when the weather got bad on his way to his family's house. I might have even successfully passed on Telephone Pictionary to yet another worthy participant.
Feliz Navidad! Hasta El Neuvo Ano!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Severing and Binding
In two days, I sever a tie that cost me $60 last month. Comcast. I informed them that there was no f-ing way I was going to give them another dime, no matter what "deal" they were going to set up for me. For a year we payed $30/month, which seemed fairly reasonable. At no time when I signed up did they say, "This price is promotional and will DOUBLE after a year." Apparently, they didn't feel it was important information to share. Well, we put up the money for last month so we could take more time to peruse new providers, and we did finally find one that seemed very reasonable. We're going through USI Wireless, which is cooperating with Minneapolis, trying to make the whole city wireless accessible. What will the cost be? About $18.50 a month (by paying it all in one lump sum for a year's access) and $80.00 for their modem. Hm, let's see...$18 or $60...which one was I going to choose?
In other news, we're very, very annoyed with our landlord. He told us he was going to fix the insulation in the attic this summer. He didn't. I sent him a letter about it. No call. I called him a few days later. He was apathetic, "I'll call the contractor and see if he has the time." I told him that if he doesn't have the time, he can just pay for some of our outrageous heating bill. So far, no response. It has been 14 days, so I'll be calling him tomorrow. Eventually, if nothing gets done and no agreement is made, I will take him to court. Scary.
School is going alright. There are a few...challenging students this year, but that's to be expected. Not every student is going to be bright and cheery and ready to learn. Some are just going to be beeoches, no matter what you do. The funny thing is, students I had last year that were a little difficult look at the new students and give me sympathetic looks. How time flies...and children mature.
Married life? It pretty well rocks, even if both of us are pretty busy lately. Chris is still getting accustomed to his new work schedule, but we make a point of spending time together when he gets home from work (except now while I'm blogging). He is mildly amused/annoyed at my current addiction to Facebook, but he's managing alright. I'm sure he'll turn to the geek side eventually.
Speaking of, for the first time, I watched "Beauty and the Geek" for it's season premier. It was rather addicting. I might have to tune in again, even though reality TV usually turns my stomach. Either my appetite has changed, or the show is nearly decent.
In two days, I sever a tie that cost me $60 last month. Comcast. I informed them that there was no f-ing way I was going to give them another dime, no matter what "deal" they were going to set up for me. For a year we payed $30/month, which seemed fairly reasonable. At no time when I signed up did they say, "This price is promotional and will DOUBLE after a year." Apparently, they didn't feel it was important information to share. Well, we put up the money for last month so we could take more time to peruse new providers, and we did finally find one that seemed very reasonable. We're going through USI Wireless, which is cooperating with Minneapolis, trying to make the whole city wireless accessible. What will the cost be? About $18.50 a month (by paying it all in one lump sum for a year's access) and $80.00 for their modem. Hm, let's see...$18 or $60...which one was I going to choose?
In other news, we're very, very annoyed with our landlord. He told us he was going to fix the insulation in the attic this summer. He didn't. I sent him a letter about it. No call. I called him a few days later. He was apathetic, "I'll call the contractor and see if he has the time." I told him that if he doesn't have the time, he can just pay for some of our outrageous heating bill. So far, no response. It has been 14 days, so I'll be calling him tomorrow. Eventually, if nothing gets done and no agreement is made, I will take him to court. Scary.
School is going alright. There are a few...challenging students this year, but that's to be expected. Not every student is going to be bright and cheery and ready to learn. Some are just going to be beeoches, no matter what you do. The funny thing is, students I had last year that were a little difficult look at the new students and give me sympathetic looks. How time flies...and children mature.
Married life? It pretty well rocks, even if both of us are pretty busy lately. Chris is still getting accustomed to his new work schedule, but we make a point of spending time together when he gets home from work (except now while I'm blogging). He is mildly amused/annoyed at my current addiction to Facebook, but he's managing alright. I'm sure he'll turn to the geek side eventually.
Speaking of, for the first time, I watched "Beauty and the Geek" for it's season premier. It was rather addicting. I might have to tune in again, even though reality TV usually turns my stomach. Either my appetite has changed, or the show is nearly decent.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
The Honeymoon is Over
It was already over in the last blog entry, I suppose. OF COURSE the feelings are still there and Chris and I are very happily married. But the reality of jobs has really set in.
Chris started a part time job in the northwest burbs a few weeks ago. I started teaching for the fall school year this week. Granted, I have been working for most of the summer anyway, but it is a little different teaching a full load at the beginning of a school year. I have to say, though, I am psyched to be at the same school for a second year. FINALLY!
One thing that sucks is that Chris and I have different schedules now. Monday through Thursday, Chris works evenings, which means I only see him in the morning when I wake up and for about 2 hours before I fall asleep at night. It could be a lot worse, and I know we'll get used to it, but it's taking a while. I know it's especially hard for him since he would much rather be working full time during the day. But he's working hard and searching hard for a new job, and hasn't given up trying. He's got some patience, that's for sure. Hmmm, maybe that's one of the reasons I married him...
So yeah, not the end of the world. Just a setback that really isn't holding us back much. I just know it's gotta suck doing a job that doesn't involve using your college degree and isn't very thrilling. Work isn't fun anyway. Yeah, I like teaching. Sometimes I even love it. However, it does vacuum up huge swaths of my life, and there are times I really wish I had a 9-5 job that was truly over at 5. I'm just happy both of us are working at all. Sure, we're years away from having all of the things we want, but at least we have one thing taken care of--finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with. I mean, some people have everything--job, house, car, garden, pets, vacations, plasma TV, thrilling sex life, stellar workout program--but they are still not satisfied because they haven't found someone to love. Man, does that sound hokey...really, really lame.
But that doesn't make it less true. I just have to keep telling myself, and keep telling Chris, "We're damn lucky." So we had better appreciate it. Hell, we're alive! Life rocks.
It was already over in the last blog entry, I suppose. OF COURSE the feelings are still there and Chris and I are very happily married. But the reality of jobs has really set in.
Chris started a part time job in the northwest burbs a few weeks ago. I started teaching for the fall school year this week. Granted, I have been working for most of the summer anyway, but it is a little different teaching a full load at the beginning of a school year. I have to say, though, I am psyched to be at the same school for a second year. FINALLY!
One thing that sucks is that Chris and I have different schedules now. Monday through Thursday, Chris works evenings, which means I only see him in the morning when I wake up and for about 2 hours before I fall asleep at night. It could be a lot worse, and I know we'll get used to it, but it's taking a while. I know it's especially hard for him since he would much rather be working full time during the day. But he's working hard and searching hard for a new job, and hasn't given up trying. He's got some patience, that's for sure. Hmmm, maybe that's one of the reasons I married him...
So yeah, not the end of the world. Just a setback that really isn't holding us back much. I just know it's gotta suck doing a job that doesn't involve using your college degree and isn't very thrilling. Work isn't fun anyway. Yeah, I like teaching. Sometimes I even love it. However, it does vacuum up huge swaths of my life, and there are times I really wish I had a 9-5 job that was truly over at 5. I'm just happy both of us are working at all. Sure, we're years away from having all of the things we want, but at least we have one thing taken care of--finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with. I mean, some people have everything--job, house, car, garden, pets, vacations, plasma TV, thrilling sex life, stellar workout program--but they are still not satisfied because they haven't found someone to love. Man, does that sound hokey...really, really lame.
But that doesn't make it less true. I just have to keep telling myself, and keep telling Chris, "We're damn lucky." So we had better appreciate it. Hell, we're alive! Life rocks.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Honey sweet honeymoon
During week after the wedding, Chris and I had a fabulous honeymoon in southeastern Minnesota. Sadly, that same area is suffering from severe flooding. But when we were there, it was beautiful, even though it was super hot.
We started our trist in Red Wing at the Moondance Inn--a super sweet bed and breakfast. The first and third floors were decked out with plenty of seating, included chaise lounges. The breakfast was phenomenal. Did I mention the king sized bed with black satin sheets and gold pillows?
The whirlpool tub wasn't much, but the room itself and the BED were fantastic.
Our first night out, Chris and I went out for a great dinner. We would have eaten anything, but we made a good choice with Liberty's for a good basic meal. Yummy fish. 
We stopped at a pretty little park a few blocks from our B&B. Red Wing is a really cute town I'd like to explore some more.
The next day we rented bikes and covered 20 miles via the Cannon Valley Trail.
Chris after 18 miles. Notice how comfortable he looks?
Me after 18 miles. Notice how much more tired I look? My rear was sore!
The next day we went hiking up Barn Bluff. We took the North Trail--the most difficult of the trails, but thankfully, the most shady.
This is the "shortcut" I decided we should take. It wasn't so much a trail as a path that some people had used before. It started out really easy. It ended up being something I pretty much crawled up, digging my hands into the dirt to grip roots and rocks to keep myself steady. Maybe it wasn't the best idea I ever had.
This is Chris after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice how he is not winded and there's not a speck of dirt on him.
This is me after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice that I was really thirsty. Also note the dirt on my elbow and palm. If you had seen my knees, you'd have thought I was lost in the wilderness and had just returned to civilization.
I suppose the view was worth it. Needless to say, we didn't take the "shortcut" back down. The trail was dangerous enough for me.
Before we left, we ate at an awesome restaurant that specialized in hors d'oeuvres. It was playfully called "Oar D'oeureves" since it is close to the river. The food was SO good. And the town was so cool. I'm definitely going back to Red Wing.
The next place we stayed at had a very different feel to it. But it was still quite nice. Very cute and antiquish. It was right across from the college.
The bed was smaller and MUCH squeakier. And, unfortunately, all of the rooms were VERY close together. Did I mention that we didn't see a young couple at either B&B all week? Still, I bet those older folks had fun.
One of the nice things about the Carriage House was that they had classic Schwin bikes in their garage that we could use. They even had a tandem bike, but it was sort of wobbly and I was rather intimidated by them. There were some nice trails around Lake Winona, but we didn't bike too much because it was really hot out and the trails were far from shady. We did stop at a sweet Drive In restaurant--oldest one in MN. Yummy shakes.
Check out the view from Garvin Heights. The best part, not photographed, was that Chris and I got there a minute before a whole group of Vacation Bible School teenagers showed up. Of course, we made out. Hey--we're married!
While in Winona, we got massages, pedicures, and saw a Shakespeare play at the college, "As You Like It." I think Chris liked it, though he was a little lost in the beginning. It was really well done. Perhaps I'll see next year's production.
On the way back, we made a point of stopping to look at Lake Pepin. We even skipped stones for a while. We didn't do very well, but we got a few going.
Well, that was our honeymoon. There was a lot more too it, but most of that I can't share ;) We had a wonderful time--it was really romantic. I think we'll make a stop by there again sometime. It almost rivals the North Shore. Almost.
During week after the wedding, Chris and I had a fabulous honeymoon in southeastern Minnesota. Sadly, that same area is suffering from severe flooding. But when we were there, it was beautiful, even though it was super hot.
We started our trist in Red Wing at the Moondance Inn--a super sweet bed and breakfast. The first and third floors were decked out with plenty of seating, included chaise lounges. The breakfast was phenomenal. Did I mention the king sized bed with black satin sheets and gold pillows?
The whirlpool tub wasn't much, but the room itself and the BED were fantastic.
Our first night out, Chris and I went out for a great dinner. We would have eaten anything, but we made a good choice with Liberty's for a good basic meal. Yummy fish. 
We stopped at a pretty little park a few blocks from our B&B. Red Wing is a really cute town I'd like to explore some more.
The next day we rented bikes and covered 20 miles via the Cannon Valley Trail.
Chris after 18 miles. Notice how comfortable he looks?
Me after 18 miles. Notice how much more tired I look? My rear was sore!
The next day we went hiking up Barn Bluff. We took the North Trail--the most difficult of the trails, but thankfully, the most shady.
This is the "shortcut" I decided we should take. It wasn't so much a trail as a path that some people had used before. It started out really easy. It ended up being something I pretty much crawled up, digging my hands into the dirt to grip roots and rocks to keep myself steady. Maybe it wasn't the best idea I ever had.
This is Chris after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice how he is not winded and there's not a speck of dirt on him.
This is me after we took the "shortcut" to the top. Notice that I was really thirsty. Also note the dirt on my elbow and palm. If you had seen my knees, you'd have thought I was lost in the wilderness and had just returned to civilization.
I suppose the view was worth it. Needless to say, we didn't take the "shortcut" back down. The trail was dangerous enough for me.
Before we left, we ate at an awesome restaurant that specialized in hors d'oeuvres. It was playfully called "Oar D'oeureves" since it is close to the river. The food was SO good. And the town was so cool. I'm definitely going back to Red Wing.
The next place we stayed at had a very different feel to it. But it was still quite nice. Very cute and antiquish. It was right across from the college.
The bed was smaller and MUCH squeakier. And, unfortunately, all of the rooms were VERY close together. Did I mention that we didn't see a young couple at either B&B all week? Still, I bet those older folks had fun.
One of the nice things about the Carriage House was that they had classic Schwin bikes in their garage that we could use. They even had a tandem bike, but it was sort of wobbly and I was rather intimidated by them. There were some nice trails around Lake Winona, but we didn't bike too much because it was really hot out and the trails were far from shady. We did stop at a sweet Drive In restaurant--oldest one in MN. Yummy shakes.
Check out the view from Garvin Heights. The best part, not photographed, was that Chris and I got there a minute before a whole group of Vacation Bible School teenagers showed up. Of course, we made out. Hey--we're married!
While in Winona, we got massages, pedicures, and saw a Shakespeare play at the college, "As You Like It." I think Chris liked it, though he was a little lost in the beginning. It was really well done. Perhaps I'll see next year's production.
On the way back, we made a point of stopping to look at Lake Pepin. We even skipped stones for a while. We didn't do very well, but we got a few going. Well, that was our honeymoon. There was a lot more too it, but most of that I can't share ;) We had a wonderful time--it was really romantic. I think we'll make a stop by there again sometime. It almost rivals the North Shore. Almost.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
And We Have the Pictures to Prove It
Our professional photos arrived yesterday! We were a little busy yesterday, so we just got to see them today. Yay! There are some super sweet ones, hilarious ones, and really mushy ones. A great mix done wonderfully well by our professional photographer. I'm really happy with pics I've seen from friends and family too. But here's a sample of the professional pics.
Our professional photos arrived yesterday! We were a little busy yesterday, so we just got to see them today. Yay! There are some super sweet ones, hilarious ones, and really mushy ones. A great mix done wonderfully well by our professional photographer. I'm really happy with pics I've seen from friends and family too. But here's a sample of the professional pics.
